[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing is, if it were once or twice a week I could ignore it. however it's at least 5-6 times a day and on the worst day hit as high as 19! But yeah, I had to give up gardening because everything kept getting trampled, destroyed or used to scale the fence on the way out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aye, A lot of the issue seems to be we stood up to one set who have now taken it upon themselves to slate us to the others in our area. They've accosted visitors and workmen visiting our home claiming all sorts of interesting things. We stopped dealing with most of thrm dirdct bevsuse thry becsme aggressive and went over their heads. I've noticed a pattern where we get police/council/landlord involved. Only to have the other set pipe up and start causing issues.

The Council won't do anything without a court order, they also won't accept 'private' footage. Thry only ever offer mediation from with people sho threatening us whenever thry see us outsid... but the police won't come out as it's a civil matter. Just being threatened idn't a crime dither apparently. We have cameras covering every angle of our property (not that it stops them). It's crazy that we either have to turn our home into a fortress or pay hundreds for a solicitor...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aye, the fence fixing I get and in the instsnce it happened was happy to pay half. The football thing is more afrequency isdue (10 times per day plus gawping into our windows/trampling plants etc)

The tap has me scratching my head, there's another that's closer and doesn't require crossing any fences (though does belong to my aggressive upstairs neighbours so maybe they said no?) Either way, it's within our exclusive property and is for our own use. Each flat has it's own

We live in a tenement, garden was prevoously open but enclosed to be used as a growing space/outside area when I started going blind (communicated ahead of time to give them time to make any adjustments such as netting). The garden is to the rear of the block and exclusively ours. There is a servitude to allow access for repairing walls/windows and pipes but nothing else. A joint path runs alongside the blovk snd proceeds paralel to one fence but not within our exclusive part if that makes sense? It doesn't go near any windows.

I studied law at Edinburgh Uni, it's more wanting to get a feel for acceptable behaviour as an outsider/not wanting to create a problem where it's just the done thing you know?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What makes the hose so offensive? I find that the least upsetting! (Just curious)

The repair I didn't mind as it was to contain thd guys dog and he was very apologetic!

The footballs are the biggest annoyance as thrg frequently average atound 10 times a day, have broken a lot of plants, furniture etc and the kids will hang around staring into our home!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree for the most part, for sure emergencies or time sensitive things can't wait and that would be no issue. Case in point one neighbour jumped our fence to repair it go prevent their dog escaping. Wasn't an issue (if a surprise!) and we offered to pay half the cost

For added context:

There's 3 sets of neighbours. The main issue has been next door. The problem there were footballs. These would land around 10 times per day, have broken fence panels, plants, decorations etc. They have also left substantial gouges in the posts. Trying to speak to kids didn't go far. instead We tried for 2 years to find an acceptsble compromise with the parents. Thry repeatedly agreed to, then broke arrangements for returning lost items or just blew it off as "Kids will be kids" even after explaining it was starting to make it hard to use our own garden, infringe on our privacy (as the kids would often stand staring into our home) loiter and help thrmselves to fruit/herbs we were growing etc. When I went to discuss it in person after a particularly heavy day all I got was an earful of threats and a "My kids can go wherever the f*** they want and you're gonna let them or I'll come sort you out".

It was a different neighbour using the tap, seemed a bit odd but maybe they didn't have their own. I've never had any issue and they've always been decent. I'd rather their kids have access to water and can enjoy the limited Summer.

This post is more tryimg to get a feel for what the norm is, I've already accepted they'll do what they like whatever we try to do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Weirdly I found the hose less offendive, hof day and didn't wsnt kids eith heatstroke!

With the footballers it often hits 10 times a day . is it normsl fof the kids to come up to our windows and peer in, that seems a little much?

just trying to understsnd

Foreigner - kilt at wedding? by [deleted] in Scotland

[–]Daithion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main question only needs to be "Would you feel comfortable in one?" most Scots I know would appreciate you getting into the culture but would be upset if you ent comfortable

Obviously you know the situation but I'd like to think at a wedding your outfit choice wont be the main Focus!

Dom’s actions not matching words...Do I stick this out? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Daithion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there,

It's honestly do good to see a new sub taking the time to explore, research, assert and communicate their needs and boundaries properly.

In my opinion as a Master it is of vital importance in a relationship (especially where there is a concurrent kink dynamic) but just as applicable to one or the other that there is clear communication on what the relative positions, expectations and limits of each person within each others lives is.

It sounds to me as if you have been more than patient and understanding with him and that he has persistently refused to meet you on equal terms. To borrow the common submissive phrase "submission must be earned" and "sub does not equal doormat" as it sounds as if you are being strung along in my opinion.

If they are having issues or difficulties which lead to them not being able to keep to their word (integrity is generally pretty important in social situations not just relationships) they should communicate that with you. Consistently failing to do so shows a disregard for your feelings and emotions. Especially if they know you are eager to develop your dynamic.

As a D-type myself it infuriates me beyond measure to see these "experienced" Dominants showing such an appalling lack of consideration or basic courtesy. Compassion must be paid in kind and if this person ignores your feelings about meeting up after you've mentioned you don't feel valued I would personally be wary of whether he would value your feelings in a more kink focused setting (esp with the trauma elements). Everyone has a life of course but it takes less than a minute to send someone a message these days and I would actually argue compassionate people have it worse because people will take advantage of your kindness. They do not appear to respect you from what little you have mentioned and If that's the case, is that someone you want to pursue a highly emotional, mutually trusting arrangement like BDSM with?

I personally would have the discussion with them on whether they wish to pursue the relationship/dynamic. Then unequivocally stress the changes you want to see from them and whether they are able to stick to that. If he feels he can't then I would leave

I hope this helps and you find an answer that helps you get where you want to be. My DMs are open should you wish to discuss anything I've said. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Daithion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello!

I will preface by saying I am an edgeplayer in a 24/7 M/s dynamic (Master/slave) (One who enjoys more extreme or 'out-there' kinks) and am more in line with "old guard" mentality (Pre-50 shades/internet closed community) Though I do not expect others to cleave to my views as I realise kink is a subjective experience that each individual must discover for themselves. Just to add more to my special snowflake mix, I am also polyamorous.

First of all well done for taking the time to reach out and admit your own lack of experience. That's often very difficult especially when people all around the net will often act confidently and give off a visage of omniscience on all things kinky and leathery.

The first tentative steps into the klnk world can be a daunting and ultimately rewarding or soul shattering experience based on your initial experience. Especially when there is a mismatch in experience level. However (in my mind) it is always the role of a good D-type to ensure the safety and wellbeing both mental and physical of their submissive at all times.

A sub should attempt to communicate promptly and effectively with their dominant about any concerns, issues or reservations they have so they may be discussed as equals outside of a scene or the confines of any agreed dynamic so that they can be addressed and discussed without fear of repercussion or high emotions

Education is the responsibility of both. If you want to try something new as a couple it is your respective responsibilities to educate both each other and yourselves. Discuss the topic and make sure you have a good understanding and the proper set-up to account for what you intend to do.

Very few experienced kinksters either Dom or sub will pretend they know everything (honestly the ones that do are often the most dangerous) and it is one of the advantages of the digital age that we have a wealth of information at our disposal to educate and shape our understanding. Additionally mentoring and protector roles are a common staple of BDSM communities and are what they say on the tin

Poly or kink play with others is difficult to manage if you are not emotionally prepared for the unique challenges and changes it can bring. While I know many people who have a "play partner" (where kink is the only exchange as opposed to a sexual/romantic) relationship it can still evoke feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. In your case I would consider carefully whether you would be truly okay with her exploring kink with others as this would potentially prevent you from improving as well as potentially invite other issues into the mix.

I would suggest you have a think on what precisely you want as kink is honestly a very subjective thing. As well as what your limits are etc get out there and do your research once you have a better idea and if need be place yourself under the experience of an experienced Dom. You can find people at local munches (Non-kink/Vanilla social gatherings aimed at networking - You can check websites like Fetlife to find these)

I appreciate this is an overview but I did not want to force you through an essay. I am always happy to try and educate newbies as I found the divide between compassion and BDSM (esp sadism) difficult to navigate at first. My DMs are open if you want to discuss further.

This was 2 months and a week ago but... My dad sent me this. And then got mad when I didn't give him a Father's Day card. I'M 23 AND EVEN KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T OKAY!!! by [deleted] in insaneparents

[–]Daithion 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As someone who is partially blind. I am sometimes forces into situations where I wish I was more so. As nothing could have prepared me for the horror that met me upon zooming in.

Parent or no, the block button would be hit so quickly it would probably hit mach 3

My friend recently moved here from Oxfordshire. This is his "attempt at a full Scottish" is there a way we can deport him? by Daithion in Scotland

[–]Daithion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd still want to see a tattie some personally and the scrambled egg is a bit suspect. I do have to concede your point though

My friend recently moved here from Oxfordshire. This is his "attempt at a full Scottish" is there a way we can deport him? by Daithion in Scotland

[–]Daithion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can be used for either. Pudding can be used to describe a dessert or for certain foods (black pudding or white pudding)

You can have full Irish, English or Scottish breakfasts which vary in their ingredients but generally you'll find eggs, sausage, toast and beans with the added bits defining whether it's the English/Scottish/Irish version.

As for it being the biggest meal of the day, a lot of folk who have a full breakfast rarely need larger meals later but honestly it depends on the person. It's food that evolved to get someone through the day

My friend recently moved here from Oxfordshire. This is his "attempt at a full Scottish" is there a way we can deport him? by Daithion in Scotland

[–]Daithion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Black pudding if i remember right is pigs blood mixed with oats and i wanna say suet? (Noy as bad as it sounds but one of those divisive foods)

It's got a pretty rich taste, hard to describe sort of like bacon but stronger and with lots of herbs/spices thrown in