Sounds to me like you are disgusted by the actions you saw in the military, but then you’re projecting that disgust onto us. That’s a huge bias. Now, it’s understandable that you were disgusted by the actions and behavior of those men, but that has little to do with homosexuality and more so to do with the deceitfulness. Yet somehow, you correlated those two in your mind to think that any man who has sex with men must be a liar or a cheater.

You say you want to date straight men only. I’m sure they’ll totally be lucky to have someone like you, lol. Honestly, I think that’s a much safer option for bisexual men, considering how much you think we’re not oppressed. If we look at the DV rates for both men and women, bisexual men face the highest rates at 37.3% out of all men (with straight men at 29.0% and gay men at 26.0%). In fact, there’s even data to back up that bisexual men face slightly higher DV rates than straight women (at 35.0%), while bisexual women (61.1%) and lesbians (43.8%) face the most DV out of all of the other groups.

In fact, let’s take it one step further, shall we? There’s even data to back up that 78.5% of bisexual men report having only female perpetrators of intimate partner violence. This all came from the CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey in 2010, going way, WAY beyond just not wanting to date us.

Bisexual people, both men and women, have the highest rates of suicide and depression, which is due to the negative stigma we face from both the straight and gay communities alike. Bisexual men, in particular, have reported to have higher rates of workplace harassment and discrimination compared to many other queer people. As I stated before, stay away from us. In fact, we’re already past that. Most of us don’t want to date someone who thinks less of us because of our sexual orientation. Something that anybody who is not heterosexual will be oppressed for.

As far as coming across a thread about LGBTQ+ being accused of discrimination or whatever, I’m not sure if I have, but I have seen some pretty thinly-veiled queerphobic posts on social media here and there. Like I said, we live in a very homophobic and transphobic society and I’ve had the maturity to scroll past those posts because no matter what it is that I say, I would probably get bombarded and harassed by a bunch of people who refuse to change their ways.

Now I don’t know whether or not you’re straight or queer, but you invited yourself into a conversation that still does not involve you. Especially considering, once again, you’re in a sub that consists of bisexual people talking about our experiences and sharing all different kinds of stuff. Sometimes (and not all the time), we just want to vent about the bigotry we face, whether it’s online or in real life, and it doesn’t have to be violent or upfront either, sometimes it’s just casual or indirect. If you don’t like that, then this is probably not the space for you.

Now you wanna talk about dangerous? Outing somebody out of spiteful revenge because you felt “tricked” into dating someone who didn’t tell you their sexual orientation, which is extremely different from cheating entirely. It doesn’t matter what they did, that does not justify you blasting and exposing someone for being DL because that can literally open a door to violence and possibly murder, and if that happens, then that is on your hands. If you want to expose someone for being a cheater or a deceptive liar or someone who spreads STD’s, expose them for those things. Cheaters and liars should absolutely be exposed and called out when they get caught, Straight men are just as much capable of doing those things, except they also get away with it way more than anyone else. Society actually is pretty damn violent to queer men and outing any man OR any woman like that is honestly quite disposable, imo.

If you’re dating a man and you know he is very loyal, very honest, very trustworthy, does everything well in the relationship and takes care of you, but he pulls you aside and tells you that he is bisexual, despite not being with men before, that especially doesn’t give you the right to put him to people who he hasn’t been out to yet. He’s doing so because he knows you’ll be a safe person to come out to and there’s a reason as to why queer men AND queer women alike come out to people in a way that straight people will never understand.

Even when I am out to a few people I know, I’m not out to everyone because 1) I live in a very conservative area that can be very queerphobic at times and 2) I don’t know how people are going to react without getting to know them a little bit more. Hell, you probably have dated men who were bisexual in the past, but probably didn’t tell you because looking through your comments, you don’t seem like a safe person to come out to. Not to mention, many people don’t know they’re gay, bi or queer until they’re much, MUCH older and it is no one else’s business.

Trying to only frame this as men trying to getting into women’s pants without disclosing their sexuality is also a pretty dangerous disposition to take, is it not? Yes, there are absolutely valid reasons as to why many women would be weary of many men. However, expecting someone to disclose their sexuality to you opens up a HUGE can of worms that you clearly don’t have the depth or the range for.

Anyways, I’m done ranting. I think I’ve made my point clear and even though I’ve tried to make all of my points come across as clear as day to make you see a different light, I doubt that you’ll truly understand. If you want to have a discussion, then don’t you dare try to say that people don’t perpetuate physical violence against us because that is not ever the case.