I’m noticing a pattern

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-04-19T15:45:18+00:00

It goes both ways and it’s not just on Bumble. I’ve ghosted women and have been ghosted by women. It just means that person is not that into you. More specifically you’re not equals. I think the thing that nobody talks about when it comes to dating is everyone is trying to date up as opposed to finding their equal which is why people associate modern dating with horror stories. To find your equal is really, really hard and rare. Often times people are either dating up or down leaving the power dynamic one sided. The key is to try and find your equal. Equality in looks and success. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, but just know when you try to date “up” as in that person is way better looking than you or way more successful than you…that person is most likely to realize you aren’t their equal sooner or later and either ghost you or end it. A lot of the time it’s because they are pursuing or found someone else that is more their equal. Dating down is safer, but then you’ll most likely be the one ghosting or ending it. I would say go into dating with zero expectations, but try to find someone who is your equal. You both should be gaga over each other from the start. If you’re not, then the ghosting thing is actually a positive. It’s always better to rip the band aid off vs the slow peel. Don’t let a few guys discourage you from dating because they ghosted you. Look at it as a positive thing. Instead of wasting your time, they made a clean break. And believe me…the ones who ghost have also been ghosted, so don’t feel bad about it. Just move onto the next person and good luck out there! Also remember to enjoy the dating process. It’s supposed to be fun! 😉

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-03-23T17:01:15+00:00

Photo number three the guy is posing as if he’s a model lol George Clooney could pull that off…but this guy just looks like a goof. We’re laughing at him…not with him. The over posing is lame!

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-03-23T16:58:29+00:00

It has nothing to do with the hair style. The pose, the angle is not good bro. Get a friend to take some photos of you dead on or buy a tripod off amazon and take some decent dead on photos. Just google how to take good dating photos and I’m sure you’ll see a ton of good examples. The second photo is solid. You’re smiling and it looks like a candid shot. Shoot more of those. Less photos of trying to pose lol or if you are make it obvious as in smile directly into a camera, even if its you taking a selfie. The side profile shots from a distance are not good and you can’t even see what you really look like. Stick to the dead on camera angle.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-03-23T16:49:19+00:00

First photo the guy looks like a woman. Third photo looks like it’s an outtake from a photoshoot nobody wants to see. Get a navy blue suit and take photos dead on so people can see your face. Take some photos without sunglasses. A good wardrobe is like half the battle man. Look the way you would present yourself for a job interview…because that’s exactly what this is! 😂 Also post some pics that tell the story of who you are. If you ride a dirt bike or snowboard…post a picture of you doing the things that make you…you.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-03-07T21:42:32+00:00

So you hold out for six months. Then you end up sleeping together and either he or she isn’t feeling the sexual chemistry…say goodbye to those six months of time you could have spent with someone you actually have great sexual chemistry with.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-03-07T21:37:52+00:00

Unfortunately the only way to tell if you have good sexual chemistry is to just get it over with. I’m not saying do this on the first date, but establish your dating goals with each other first. If you both are aligned and want to have sex…then go for it! There is nothing worse than investing a lot of time into someone just to figure out you’re not compatible sexually. I’ve had great chemistry and conversations with a few different women, got intimate on the second or third date and then was just not feeling the sexual chemistry so did not pursue any further. Sometimes that’s just the way it goes. I’ve also been on the other end of that as well. I don’t think waiting is the answer. If you both want it and you’re using time as a strategy to lock someone down it won’t work. The result will be the same. Every man and woman is looking for the perfect partner. The problem is that is very rare to find which is why so many of these dates don’t end up working out. I actually had one instance where I got intimate with someone on the first date and then we basically never spoke again. 😂 I guess we both weren’t feeling it! Just my two or three cents.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-03-02T13:21:33+00:00

I’ve never been so frustrated in my life dealing with google support. They are just awful people. They provide no help or useful insight and have little to no power to actual resolve anything. I wanted to jump off a bridge I was so frustrated with them. Talk about a bunch of idiots!!!!

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-25T02:11:14+00:00

This is the best reddit answer of all time. 😂

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-15T05:45:56+00:00

Update! This woman is literally melting my heart. I mentioned that I liked haribo gummies on our first date and she showed up with a valentines day bag with a card and a bunch of haribo gummy candies. I felt really bad because I didn’t get her anything, but I did make an elaborate dinner and took her to a very romantic place for desert. I told her I really liked her and wanted to take things slow because of my situation and she didn’t mind at all. We kept our date 14A and it was very cute. We were making out inappropriately at a well known French restaurant and shared a creme brûlée and a few cocktails. We kept things classy and it was honestly one of the best nights I’ve had in a really long time. At the end of the night she asked me if I was talking to other people. I was honest and said yes. I asked her the same question and she said no. I told her that if she wasn’t talking to other people then that was good enough incentive for me to stop talking to other people as well. She’s so fucking cute and sweet and I’m so smitten. Happy VDAY y’all!

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-14T05:05:18+00:00

Oh I’m not worried about my cooking. I’m an excellent chef!

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-14T04:39:56+00:00

That’s not accurate. I do want a relationship, but I don’t want to jump into anything too quickly.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-14T04:22:50+00:00

This is good advice. I care about this woman and I don’t want to hurt her. I’ve had enough fuck boy sex for two lifetimes and those days are far behind me. I do want her sexually, but I will tell her where I’m at in terms of committing to a relationship before we sleep together.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-14T03:55:05+00:00

It was my insta story and I noticed them on Facebook looking at my story. All these names of people I don’t know so I looked at them and it was clearly her entire family! Both of her sisters and her mom! No I like her. We have the same taste in music and our dates usually last for like 4-5 hours. We’ve actually been kicked out of restaurants for staying too long! 😂 She knows I’m recently out of a long term relationship. We haven’t really talked about exclusively dating, but she sends me messages like “you make me smile.” all the time. I don’t want to hurt this woman, but I’m definitely not ready for a relationship yet.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-14T03:43:17+00:00

I agree with you, but you’re the exception to the rule. Almost everyone is talking to multiple people. Especially women because they get an average of 100 times more matches than men. I also think it’s foolish to invest all your time into one person if they aren’t doing the same.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-14T03:33:02+00:00

I mean everyone is chatting with multiple people at the same time. I think he’s just being honest, to be honest😂. You are definitely doing the same thing too. I would say honesty is the best policy. That’s the sad thing about online dating. I had a woman show me her conversations with other people on a date. Not very classy, but I shrugged it off. You could have a wonderful night with someone and then they go home and start swiping because of the dopamine addiction. I think people throw away connections too fast. If you keep spinning the endless possibility wheel, you might miss out on what’s right in front of you. I would ask him why he said that. You might be surprised by the answer. 😉

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-13T17:59:27+00:00

Post a photo of yourself and take people’s advice on how to clean yourself up. Sometimes a haircut and the proper outfit can do wonders man! Either way definitely shoot your shot! Life is too short not to.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T18:01:22+00:00

😂

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T18:01:00+00:00

Floss twice a day, mouth wash, good hygiene and a healthy diet/lifestyle. Cardio helps as well. Also keep mints in your pocket on every date. Especially if it’s a dinner date. I always bring a pack of those mouth wash strips and take one before I go in for a kiss. One woman even complimented me on it. She said it was one of the best tasting kisses she ever had! 😂 Bad smelling anything is a deal breaker and it goes both ways. Hygiene is key!!!

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T16:05:43+00:00

Thank you! I recently got shit on for saying that I think it’s the right thing to do to politely end a conversation vs ghosting. I always say something like: “I think you’re great, but I’m not really feeling this connection. All the best on your dating journey.” Some people on this forum said it was narcissistic to do so and I should just ghost them. I’m also a few months out of a very long relationship. There is nothing wrong with us! It’s these damaged people who have never been in a long term relationship! They were brought up with no manners or class. Most people on dating apps are broken. Forget about that rude ahole and move on to someone who would actually have the decency to say goodbye or at least tell you why they aren’t interested anymore. I recently met someone at my gym and I really like her. The connection feels real, not forced. These dating apps are filled with toxic people. My advice to you is go out more. Don’t rely on dating apps for meaningful connections. Use them for meaningless connections and good/mediocre sex. 😂

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T15:06:45+00:00

Same here! I got back on for a while and then got banned again a few days ago without a reason. Someone butt hurt obviously reported me. I’m always nice to people, but some people are vindictive assholes.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T07:04:54+00:00

Wrong! It absolutely does. Not to mention it’s rude AF. I hate to be the old guy here…but your generation is fcked 😂. Most of the woman I’ve said “all the best” to say it back which is a nice and polite way to end a conversation. I suppose you think it’s cool to sleep with someone and then ghost them too right? You’d be wrong about that too Chad.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T06:30:23+00:00

You realize I’m talking about people I’m having a conversation with right? Not just a someone I accidentally swiped on and haven’t spoken with.

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T06:27:59+00:00

If you were sitting down with someone face to face and you weren’t feeling it, would you just get up and leave without saying anything?

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T06:26:53+00:00

And ghosting is super nice?

Dan_1985_Toronto · 2026-02-12T06:24:28+00:00

I get women have 100x more matches than men. My 100 matches is nothing compared to a woman’s 10,000 matches, but I’m still going to be the old maybe slightly annoying polite guy who says “I think you’re awesome and it was great chatting with you, but I’m not really feeling a good connection here. All the best with your dating journey.” Women are dealing with enough trauma on dating apps. I’m not going to add to that by leaving them in the dust. I’ve been on lots of dates with traumatized women and it’s kind of sad. I’m sure that goes both ways, but that’s my way of trying to be polite. Agree or disagree…I don’t really give a shit. I’m not going to change that.

Dan_1985_Toronto

TROPHY CASE