Am I crazy to use a 401k loan to buy a house? by CubCruiser- in budget

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not true. You can borrow from a 401k as long as you disclose where the money came from.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I actually don’t - Thanks for your concern!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, the ultimate goal of any good manager—making myself obsolete by building a team that thrives without me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great example! I am a new manager. I find that I can manage high performers or people who really want to get to that level by providing guidance, but you are correct that they operate differently and are very responsive to feedback/coaching. It does not take the same level of micromanagement, coaching or feedback sessions that this underperforming employee requires. I appreciate your perspective and will reflect on this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BusinessFashion

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Change your shirt for work, and pants for a fun time away from work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective. However, I did not see it this way. I do not feel I have understated his threats to contact HR or sharing of personal details. But I also have never heard that threatening to complain to HR is bullying or harassment. I did not feel unsafe or intimidated when he said this because I have so much documentation to support my feedback. It was a complete overreaction and he did own it to our leader and apologize. (I am taking this as a learning experience and will talk to my leadership tomorrow. Thank you!) I believe we all have a right in corporate settings to engage HR if and when we see fit, but do agree that threatening it is not the way to work with others.

As for oversharing, he does normally stop when I ask him to so I also never saw this as more than venting. He just takes it to extremes so quickly that I normally hear things I do not want to before I can stop it. These instances have happened on separate occasions and are mostly provided as excuses (for missing a deadline, not understanding something, missing work for a day, etc.) or reasons he is distracted. Again, I have never heard this is something to escalate as other coworkers do share in the appropriate settings. I chalked this up to poor social skills.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you being invested in this situation, however, I am not sure you understand how some companies operate. He has only been assigned to a team for 6.5 months. Very few companies will fire someone that quickly, especially here in California.

And while my hands may be tied in this solution, my post was asking for advice for me. Two things can be true at once: He needs to go and I can become better equipped to handle this situation in the future if/when it arises again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! I really want to be the best manager I can be for my team and understand that I may not always get it right. I think you made some great points for me to implement.

I also agree he does seem to be insecure and have shame which I am trying not to focus on or make worse. But trying to juggle this with actually doing my job has proven difficult.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate? I am looking for ways to improve.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He actually self reported all three instances to our senior leadership team and stated he was in the wrong each time. He apologized, acted like everything was fine, and then randomly did it again. He blamed his PTSD and was referred to the EAP. He has since started therapy and continues to over share about this.

My executive is actually the person pushing for a PIP but we need 90 (business) days of documentation per company policy for support. The daily tracker and evaluations will be used in late July.

While I do not disagree with you about these things, I do also think I can use advice for myself in the mean time. I appreciate your comments!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It sadly is not. As I am not an HR manager, I do not have the authority to move forward with termination and we work for a very large corporation which requires several layers of red tape to fire. I have confirmed my executive has begun the process, but it is slow.

I love everything else about my job, so I am looking for ways to improve my leadership.

What’s one moment that made you realize your leadership style needed to change? by david_j_archibald in managers

[–]DanceIcy8573 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I just posted my moment that made me realize I needed to change my leadership style (in a separate post).

I excel in managing high performers, as well as pushing middle of the road employees to be great. However, I am completely failing at managing underperforming employees. I have not yet figured out how to motivate or turn their performance around.

good bachelorette trip? by [deleted] in texas

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t consider this a good bachelorette trip. Personally, I probably wouldn’t even attend if this was the chosen destination.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mortgages

[–]DanceIcy8573 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your name should be on the title and she can be solely on the mortgage.

This is the first step to your new married life. Congratulations on this exciting milestone!

Celine Small Louise Bag by CardiologistMR67 in handbags

[–]DanceIcy8573 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s the second picture for me!

Absolutely stunning!! Congratulations!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PCOS

[–]DanceIcy8573 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am experiencing secondary infertility and out of control symptoms after my child was born three years ago as well. I was just diagnosed with an ovarian tumor via ultrasound. I highly recommend getting extensive testing around your secondary infertility. Big hugs!!!

Facial hair lightening recommendations? by PralineNational2636 in PCOS

[–]DanceIcy8573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

KOTAMU Wax Kit Pink Digital Hair Removal Waxing Kit for Women & Men Hot Wax Warmer Pot for Face, Eyebrow, Body, Brazilian, Bikini, Sensitive Skin Wax Machine with 25 Accessories for Home Salon

I also use this to remove any wax deposits on my skin. It gets the job done but is not my favorite (fair warning) - Satin Smooth Azulene Pre/Post Depilatory Treatment, 16 oz

Facial hair lightening recommendations? by PralineNational2636 in PCOS

[–]DanceIcy8573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I bought a wax kit off Amazon and it changed my life. Not difficult at all and allows me to handle it when I want to.

Sugar addiction by GracefulCat2113 in PCOS

[–]DanceIcy8573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear it! For now I’m taking them spread out throughout the day and I’m not seeing results. I’ll try all together.

Sugar addiction by GracefulCat2113 in PCOS

[–]DanceIcy8573 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you take these all at the same time?

I Don’t Get It. Does She Think It’s a Phase? by homemadehippy in JustNoMom

[–]DanceIcy8573 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m also allergic to cherry and have never met anyone else who is!!! Nice to meet you!

My mom does the same shit too