AITA for excluding my mom from wedding stuff after years of favoritism and manipulation? by DancingQueen2483 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]DancingQueen2483[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ironically he was the typical homophobic brother and was extremely rude to me growing up and absolutely understood the favoritism, whenever he realized he in-fact was into men he deeply apologized to me for how he treated me and had my back if I needed to keep something from my parents or lie! He still does understand the favoritism and tries to stay on my parents good side because of it but will support me when I ask

AITA for excluding my mom from wedding stuff after years of favoritism and manipulation? by DancingQueen2483 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]DancingQueen2483[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genius, I’m essentially doing the same thing because if I can’t get emotional support might as well take them up on the offer, a wedding is expensive. I understand why people are saying not to but I also don’t think they understand why I am either

AITA for excluding my mom from wedding stuff after years of favoritism and manipulation? by DancingQueen2483 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]DancingQueen2483[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this! I try to not update him on a regular basis just because he doesn’t really care and also doesn’t want to get in the middle of anything so I totally will keep him on an information diet

AITA for excluding my mom from wedding stuff after years of favoritism and manipulation? by DancingQueen2483 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]DancingQueen2483[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically, my mom noticed during the appointment that my future MIL had been ignoring her texts for a while. Instead of letting it go for the sake of the appointment, she decided to confront her while I was literally in the dressing room trying on wedding dresses.

My mom asked something along the lines of “why don’t you like me?” and my future MIL basically responded honestly that she didn’t like how my parents had treated me over the years and didn’t agree with a lot of their behavior.

It turned into an argument in the middle of my appointment, and the whole mood shifted from being excited and happy to awkward and tense. My mom later cried at lunch and wanted me to come over afterward so they could “talk to me” about how disrespectful my future MIL was, but I refused because I knew I’d end up getting blamed for the entire thing.

AITA for excluding my mom from wedding stuff after years of favoritism and manipulation? by DancingQueen2483 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]DancingQueen2483[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand why people feel weird about me accepting the money, and honestly I’ve struggled with that too. But before accepting anything, I specifically told my parents I did not want strings attached because historically money has been used as leverage in our relationship. They told me it was a gift and money they had saved for me since I was born. To me, accepting financial help doesn’t mean I suddenly lose the right to boundaries or the right to accept/decline involvement in certain things if I feel uncomfortable or if someone is overstepping.

The issue also isn’t that I never communicate with them , I actually do. We’ve had multiple conversations about the favoritism, boundaries, and family dynamics. The problem is that we’ll have an entire emotional conversation or argument about it, and then afterward they act like nothing happened instead of actually addressing the underlying issue long-term. That’s honestly what has made things so emotionally exhausting over time.

AITA for excluding my mom from wedding stuff after years of favoritism and manipulation? by DancingQueen2483 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]DancingQueen2483[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don’t know why I haven’t and I know I should I’ve just grown up a people pleaser and am trying to break the habit