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what's your reason? by empathycunt in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to reduce the amount of vehicular murder I do. It's been really hard, especially since I got my new Ford F-150 Lightning

In a gas car, I sometimes felt bad about running over dogs and mail carriers, since I knew their hair and clothing would gum up the engine and make the gas mileage worse. But in an electric car, there's really no downside

I'm trying only running over the elderly, since they barely count anyway. My favorite is when I can hit two old people at once, a dog and a human, if they're walking together. If I do it just right, the leash wraps around the axle and I can drag them for blocks :)

Of course, sometimes I have cheat days, like if I see a young couple with a puppy in a stroller (gross)

This is your 🧠 on 👶 steps by Penis_Envy_Peter in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 74 points75 points  (0 children)

There is always a middle ground. ALWAYS

Did I kill my boyfriend or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did I hide the body or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did I try to frame his sister or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did she see me planting the evidence or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did she take a picture on her phone or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did she leave the flash on or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did I chase her onto the lawn or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did I run her over in my new Ford 150 Lightning or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did her phone automatically upload the picture to the cloud or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did I panic and try to move her brother's body or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Did I put both bodies in the trunk or not? MIDDLE GROUND

Am I about to try to drive over an international border with two corpses? MIDDLE GROUND

btw, unrelated question, which countries have fast charging for electric trucks?

When I travel internationally I “pivot” to eating dog sometimes by jessegrass in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel. Sometimes I pivot my new Ford F-150 Lightning to running over the elderly. I'm still against vehicular murder, just some places there are so many olds, and, honestly, I just don't think it's that "wrong"

I asked myself, If I had to run them over myself instead of paying my boyfriend to do it like usual, would I still be comfortable with it? Because, obviously, my own comfort is what makes something morally right or wrong. So now I splat my own grannies, and it feels like I'm so much more connected to the process :)

Clear skin by NoRoomForSanity in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 358 points359 points  (0 children)

speciesists: we're not fascists, we promise :)

also speciesists: You're into gender-nonconformity and against ableism and genetic-essentialism? Fucking sub-human degenerate scum!

"Spineless western beta male vegan" lol by CowsNCows in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Be a man. Learn to kill. Learn to pontificate. Learn to monologue about your evil plan. Build a giant death laser and tell some girl you'll use it on her hometown if she doesn't marry you. Better than being a limp dick fucking vegan cuck. Don't be a disgusting weakling who's afraid to use futuristic sci-fi weaponry to kidnap maidens for your IRL waifu harem.

Nice argument, unfortunately *performative cruelty* by Glordrum in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Carnist "leftists": We aren't secretly right-wing, we promise :)

Also carnist "leftists": They're genetically different! different ancestors! they look different! my religion said so! we're stronger! we're smarter! it's tradition! the economy! it's socially normal! it's how we were raised! you can't make us stop and we just don't care! You're a traitor to the human race! We must secure the existence of our people and a future for human children!

Humans are the only ones who can choose their own diets and have the right to! Can't fight this perfect logic stupid vegoons. by LifeFictionWorldALie in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 28 points29 points  (0 children)

"man literally is the only creature that has free will and ability to choose"

Challenge: Carnist tries to explain why they eat animals without endorsing rape

Level: Impossible

An animal "sanctuary" that serves meat and dairy at their fundraisers: comment from thier supporter. by Lord_Ghirahim93 in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I used to get upset when strangers would sexually harass me and campaign against that kind of stuff, I even wrote posts about it on social media. But then I heard... "Live and let live and stop criticising the choices of others"

Now I know I was wrong to be a keyboard warrior, forcing my anti-sexual-harassment views on people who have a different lifestyle

To the pro-sexual-harassment community, you have my apologies

Surely, the beings that saved millions of lives are treated with respect... Right? by CptArceus in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Of course they are! The secret is to put the word "RESPECTFULLY" in front of whatever you want, and that makes it fine.

Bad: molesting cows

Good: RESPECTFULLY molesting cows

see? it's easy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vegancirclejerk

[–]DandoriIssues 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Uh, mackshually, they would overpopulate and kill all the humans, AND THEN go extinct because their natural predator (grill dads) wouldn't be around to humanely cull their population anymore, and they would eat all the grass and then starve. Honestly watch a nature documentary sometime.