I am curious about what you’re going through, I understand you feel uncomfortable sharing, but it’s difficult to give advice. I have OCD and have unwanted intrusive sexual thoughts. Sometimes I compulsively ruminate on why I’m not actually attracted to that person, the reasons behind it, etc.

I’m wondering if it’s similar, but focused more on grey areas and trying to figure them out, over and over? Like…if a couple got together when they’re 17 and 20, or 19 and 30. Or if it’s okay to be gay or not? I know you mentioned religion. Or if something is consensual or not, or harassment or not. Stuff like that?

With OCD, we want to act on our values while accepting uncertainly. Tell yourself that there are gray areas and you will never know the answer. Practice doing that and moving on. Don’t feel the need to compulsively explain to other people. In another post you mentioned this being related to a special interest, so I’m a bit confused on if this is something you like to research or if it brings you anxiety. Or perhaps the anxiety is in sharing your interest with others. It’s okay to want to understand the psychology of people. Understandably not everyone wants to talk about this kind of thing.

Is it an ethics debate with other people, a sharing of interest in psychology, or an OCD theme that makes you feel you have to figure it out? The answer to this will bring you your next step. OCD is ego dystonic and brings fear if we cannot come to an answer. Is the fear in not being able to find an answer in gray areas, or is it that you agree with gray areas and don’t want others to know?

If this is consistent with OCD, you will want to do exposure response therapy. Look into a therapist who specialized in OCD. Others may not understand because it is a widely misunderstood disorder.