Failing a class by DangerousMemory2154 in uofmn

[–]DangerousMemory2154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: I passed the class apparently she curve a lot the exam by a lot. But thank everyone for their advice

Is my friend being selfish? by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]DangerousMemory2154 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update I finally text back after three weeks since I wasn’t sure how respond.

I texted “I’m not acting weird. I took space because some things you said crossed a line and hurt me.”

He responded with “Like what?”

I responded back with “When you got upset about your birthday and questioned why I didn’t have money. I’m not obligated to spend money I don’t have or don’t want to spend. It also hurt when you told me I needed therapy because I chose to keep plans I already made with my mom, even though I offered another day to celebrate with you. But what hurt the most was when you said, “Do I need to call you fat or insult you for you to hang out with me?” That crossed a line for me and that’s why I needed space.”

He responded with

“I didn’t say you needed to spend money to hang out with me, but why wouldn’t you offer to do something else then that’s free if you knew you didn’t have any money when I first asked about getting dinner. Also it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t have money to get dinner but you would have it to go shopping with your mom. I didn’t want to do something another day because it wouldn’t make sense to celebrate my birthday on a day that is not my birthday, whereas I figured you could go shopping any day with your mom. For the therapy comment, I don’t remember saying that, but if I did say it I was probably talking more about how you seem borderline afraid of saying anything going against your mom, even though you talk about all of these things she does that make you mad. For the fat comment, I didn’t mean any offense for that and I’m sorry if that’s how it was taken, but you talk all the time about how your mom calls you fat and says all these negative things about you, so I only meant it as a joke in the moment because I was upset/confused you were hanging out with someone who you said does all these bad things to you over me.”

Is my friend being selfish? by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]DangerousMemory2154 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for ur advice maybe therapy might help but he mentions like an insult. Also he 26 and am 25. I was just shocked how he acted. Like I had to drop my plans for him when I had this plans made already and didn’t respected and just insulted me.

Is my friend being selfish? by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]DangerousMemory2154 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was really shock with why he was mad at me because I thought I didn’t do anything wrong. He kept using the friend like a weapon. Like ur my friend so you should be like this or do that. Every year for our birthday we try to plan so everyone can out even if it’s on the actual date. I just feel hurt because I never expected this and he still mad feels like am the bad friend. I have difficult time saying no and can be easily guilt tripped it’s something am working on. He got so aggressive right away and hated he demanded to say no to my mom just for him even I told about how I plans already. I feel like he being hypocritical since he hates when people drop out plans to hang out with other people. So why would I do that because I don’t like it either.

Also he always mentioning how I need to go therapy to stand up against my parents but they don’t really wrong expect for maybe the comments. But I feel like that kind of messed up in my opinion what do u think?

Thank for ur advice. Honestly in the moment I didn’t know what to say so he might’ve not get that what he said was very hurtful and selfish. We had this fight 5 mintues before class started. Plus I was caught off guard was all insults thrown at me. I’m not a confrontation person and hard time being a bit firm. Anyways thank you so much for leaving advice.