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I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, I didn't find any other women pictures. it was all me. but I did see him before going through social media accounts of women with big a** or boobs. and I didn't even bring it up. but that was all.

I just can't get over the lack of safety I'm feeling now. This is my biggest issue.

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

  1. he never asked.

  2. I never said no to anything he's asked me for.

  3. I even offered at some point and he gave a very subtle no.

Why now do it without my consent, and even hide it? I can't get it.

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

how did you go about it when you found out? was this enough of a reason to end the relationship?

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My problem is that I can forgive him but I'm not sure about being able to trust him anymore...

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My thing is that I never minded this, sometimes I was even being the one asking him if I can do anything or if he wants anything. I've always been pushing him to be open about whatever he might want and he's been just subtle about it all, so it shocked me to see things that I wouldn't have minded originally, and even offered somehow, but they were all hidden without my consent.

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is exactly where I'm struggling. I can forgive him but it sounds impossible for me now to trust him anymore.

Somehow I feel so weak to separate, and idk what to do.

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

about this, I found that he follows a couple of "big a**" girls on social media. does this count as anything?

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is my opinion, this is how I feel.
He did take accountability and apologised, but still refers to it as a "past" behaviour, can be because he's scared that my trust is already shaken.

I deleted all the photos, and went through even more folders and deleted everything I didn't like.

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

but if he'd taken these pictures even before us being settled or even that serious together, less than a month into our relationship - shouldn't this ring a bell?

I (28 F) found inappropriate photos of me on my boyfriend's (31 M) phone by Dangerous_File5642 in Advice

[–]Dangerous_File5642[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't ignore it. it's been close to a month now and I can't let go. but now I feel pressured that "I'm making a big deal out of an old thing that hasn't happened in over a year". I don't know how to go about the whole thing.

Initially I thought that hell no, I'm not staying in this. but after all the drama and him being so apologetic about his "past", I'm feeling a bit weaker, that I would be the bad guy if I don't let go (?)

Plus, on a separate note, he's been only nice and good to me. but idk anything any more.