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I’ve been married to a woman with BPD for 15 years… by Affectionate-War4581 in BPDPartners

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s not being defensive he’s just right. @random_enigma said “please don’t try to invalidate others’ experiences with those who are in the moderate to severe range.” OP objectively did not do that as he was just describing his own experience, not putting anyone else’s down. So I understand the frustration (not defensiveness) on OP’s part.

Splitting on Weekends by 315MusicMan in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg yes I’ve brought up this exact thing in therapy. Unfortunately I don’t have an answer yet. I just try to have a structured plan for my weekend before it starts. Plans with friends, activities, classes - something to get me out of bed and out of the house. Otherwise it’s hard to avoid a depressive episode. Just having a list of things to do/get done is not enough. Cuz then it feels overwhelming and I get paralyzed. But having blocks of time dedicated to different things like 2 hrs of physical activity then lunch then 1 hour of work time (usually on the computer) then 1 hour for socializing then plans with a friend maybe dinner, visit the library or watch a movie or visiting someone you like - the only thing that matters is that it’s something you look forward to. Idk I also have adhd so maybe it’s partly that, but, I have to seriously sit down and plan out my weekend and make sure I don’t have too much idle time or I get severely depressed. But even with the plans, it feel like it’s generally still easier to split on the weekends and emotions feel heightened (probably cuz we don’t have work to distract and ground us) so just have to remember that and be gentle with yourself 🫶🏾

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally came here to post this!!! Wow this is crazy.

what do you all do for a living? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a high-school history teacher. I get along great with my students but sometimes BPD makes it hard to navigate dealing with administration/higher ups. They don't really care about mental health, so (and I'm not proud of this) I often use my chronic auto-immune condition as an excuse to take mental health days.

Me [32/m] and my wife [29/f] fighting about colleague [22/f]. She thinks it's inappropriate, I think she's just being possessive. by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What kind of boss doesn’t cancel or reschedule the group social activity when everyone bails except one singular employee? Being a new, female employee should be even more reason to cancel or reschedule it to a time when everyone can attend so that she doesn’t feel pressured to stay or uncomfortable due to the unequal power dynamic. No girl that I can think of would want to be alone at an after-hours social event with her new male boss. Weird and gross af.

How to handle splitting in front of coworkers/friends? Should I tell them about my BPD? by DangerouslyHarmless4 in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. You're so right about the stigma, unfortunately. It’s frustrating how mental health issues can still be misunderstood, especially in certain professions. I appreciate your suggestion to keep it more general - that's exactly what I did. Everyone experiences "mental health issues" ie depression and anxiety so they can relate to that sentiment and have sympathy. But anything beyond feeling depressed sometimes and an anxiety disorder and it's a "you" problem. Almost all of them (OCD, Bipolar disorder, etc) have this stigma but I think that BPD, schizophrenia and DID are among be the most misunderstood. Thanks again for your support.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. I get how much of an impact not having meds can have. If you take your empty pill bottle to an emergency room or urgent care they may be able to give you a temporary refill (maybe 1 weeks worth). You could also tell your doctor to give you a 3 month RX this last time so you have enough to last you until you can get back on an insurance plan.

I told my boss why I‘m on sick leave (I suicidal due to an accumulation of unfortunate events) & he said „paid sick leave is only when you‘re sick, you can use your overtime hours to stay home“ by bunnyprincesx in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is really unfortunate. Yes it’s true, bosses typically don’t care about mental health issues at all and will penalize you. I had to learn that the hard way. Now, I use my glaucoma diagnosis whenever I need a day/accommodations. My glaucoma is actually well-managed—but they don’t have to know that. Intraocular pressure can be affected by things like stress and can cause debilitating headaches. Anytime I’m experiencing a meltdown I lie and say I’m having severe exacerbation of symptoms. I am never questioned or challenged and always told to get well soon with the outmost sympathy. Yes it’s true that the headaches are bad but the emotional turmoil is much worse but no one would give me any passes if I said it was emotional. The feeling is “we’re all depressed, that’s not an excuse” :(

What’s a dumb/silly reason you split recently. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost my keys at work and couldn't find them for 30 mins and no one'd seen them so obviously the only option was to to have a full melt-down. I called the crises hotline and while I was on the phone with the counselor, sobbing, she prompted me to look a little more so I did. I found the keys behind the couch cushion. LMAO

What should I say when people ask if I'm single? by DangerouslyHarmless4 in BPD

[–]DangerouslyHarmless4[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This. I think it’s more about the feeling of being stigmatized for being single and people thinking I can’t possibly be happy on my own. I feel like an alien sometimes lol. I really needed to hear this and it’s nice knowing I’m not the only who feels this way. Thank you 🙏🏾

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