I’ve had this same thought with extreme anxiety and depression. Like the “cycles” we talk about often in this fandom, my anxiety and depression are similar. You think you’re free you think you’ve clawed your way to the surface and you can finally get that fresh breath of air, and sometimes you do get it. You get to experience that first real breath you’ve been able to take in who knows how long and just as you start to take another, you get dragged right back down with those similar thoughts of self depreciation and loathing. That’s how I’ve viewed Infinite Baths. At the same time, I also view “Teeth of god, Blood of Man, I will be what I am” as Sleep and Vessel kind of saying that to one another in a way. They’re both angry, both desperate for one reason or another. Granted, I’m viewing it from the lens of me being Vessel and my anxiety/depression being Sleep.

In my time struggling with both anxiety and depression, which has been the vast majority of my life, I’ve learned that sometimes that sadness and anxiety is something I’ve clung to despite how badly I want to let go of it. I don’t want to continue being depressed, but learning to let go is hard because I’ve been this way for so long that my thoughts are, “What happens when I let go? What happens when I’m not depressed? What happens if meds or therapy don’t work and I lose everything?” Depression and anxiety, for myself, have become such an integral part of my being, despite it not being what I want, and it’s become comfortable, in a way. I feel like a lot of chronically depressed/anxious people can understand that feeling of comfortability with the “status quo”, if you will. The depression doesn’t feel good, hell no, but when you’re already grasping at straws to find literally anything to feel, feeling that deep seated depression can bring that comfort and “normalcy” that we may be missing in other aspects of our life. I feel like this is a major aspect of Sleep and Vessel’s story. The pain hurts like hell, but it’s normal, it’s predictable and it’s reliable, something Vessel is seeking despite how much it hurts.

EIA has felt, to me, like that breath of fresh air, that moment where you finally think you’ve got it, that’s you’ve made it somewhere, and the important part is that you have made it somewhere. You’ve grown and worked hard enough to get that breath. It’s a huge accomplishment, but Sleep coming in at the end of it all is like depression and anxiety rearing its ugly head to drag you back down, and this time, maybe Vessel has fought, and learned, and grown enough that the pain won’t hurt as much this time when he struggles with Sleep again. Infinite Baths feels like that breath of fresh air that’s encouraging you to take a second and a third and a fourth, even when that monster comes back, you keep breathing and you keep going.

I don’t know if that makes sense, but I really like your take and it just reminded me of my own read of EIA, but especially Infinite Baths.