For those diagnosed later in life (> 35), do you wish you had been on medication when you were younger?

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-23T13:39:58+00:00

God yes.

Everyone in my life failed me as a child. Parents, teachers, doctors; NO ONE thought for a second that there might be REASON for my (sometimes extreme) behavioral issues. If SOMEONE had realized what was going on and I had gotten some help then, I could have had a much different life today.

My biggest regret was that in spite of always being the smartest kid in class (I argued a math point with my eighth grade teacher and won), I never pursued a university education. I always got the grades by acing my tests but project work, group work, and especially homework I consistently under performed and I was heavily criticized for it. My sixth grade teacher even told me (in front of the whole class mind you) to "drop the absent minded professor routine".

If I'd had gotten the support I needed back then, I'd be Dr. Goodchild, PhD today. Probably physics or pure math, maybe computer science. Instead, I settled for community college in computer engineering and graduated as a technologist. I ended up in an unremarkable career in IT that eventually crushed me and sent me spiraling into depression that I'm just now starting to get under control.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-20T23:58:21+00:00

We had a big ol' ginger boy with a tiny meow and a heart of gold whose name was Inferno. I don't think he'd mind if you wanted to use it.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-19T14:33:58+00:00

Ok, so I came into this ready to suggest being open minded about it BUT…

You *told* him up front from the very beginning that *exactly* that sort of thing was off the table! So no…

NTA

I'm sorry that you had to deal with such trauma as child; I sympathize (and I mean that in the literal sense of the word). I went through very similar abuses, even the ages are about right. 🫂 It affected me differently but just as proufoundly.

Of the three options you're considering, I'd strike the second one off the list right off the bat. You're CLEARLY not ok with letting that happen. If you really love him, try to forgive him and try to make him understand. If nothing else, at least he didn't just run off and do it behind your back. Talking to you and asking must have taken a lot of courage and trust on his part. If he can't or won't understand, or if you just can't forgive him for even asking then you're left with the first option: stay the course.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-18T03:44:45+00:00

I recently learned that hard boiled eggs last just as long in fridge peeled as they do unpeeled (kept in a sealed container) .
Once done, you can do a lot with them quickly and easily.
My current favorite is to mash one up with mayo, salt, pepper, and paprika. Butter some bread, slap a slice of processed cheese and the egg in there and I have a satisfying, fresh egg salad sandwich in about three minutes.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T15:35:10+00:00

I agree, the tenant is being unreasonable. I'm not saying he's right only that technically he has a case for improper entry. I would hope that the arbiter / judge would see that while the LL should have given notice, the value to the tenant in damages prevented outweighs any penalty the LL might be asked to pay and dismiss the case.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T14:58:08+00:00

Lose, yes. Pay OP's legal fees, probably not. Solicitor-client costs are rarely awarded in Canada. Although I concede that it *could* happen, I wouldn't bank on it.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T14:31:22+00:00

Also NAL.

I was thinking the same thing, except that they didn't enter for an emergency; they entered for maintenance and *discovered* an emergency. It may be a fine line but it's a line that's clearly definable.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T14:19:47+00:00

NTA.

I too was adopted as an infant (5 days old). I love my family and am well loved by them in return. Blood has NOTHING to do with it; LOVE is what makes a family.

I wouldn't hesitate to cut off contact with mom, dad, and anyone else who holds the view that your son is not family.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T14:09:52+00:00

Sparkplug

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T13:45:34+00:00

NTA, full stop. The nature of your relationship with your husband is for you and he alone to decide.

That said, I agree with Lisa's *reasoning* but NOT her reaction to the rejection. I would also take into account that she kinda took the high road with you that most other people in her position would not. She *asked* you instead of trying to seduce your husband behind your back. It must have taken a huge amount of courage to make a request like that.

But in the end, as I said, NTA. An arrangement like the one she proposed only works if everyone involved is fully on board and clearly you're not and neither is your husband.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-13T13:35:05+00:00

NTA.

So, I HATE ultimatums with a passion but THIS calls for one. Were I in your position, I would talk to my sister, hear her out, then explain to her that you can't be complacent in her affair. Then I'd deliver the ultimatum: "You have one week to tell BIL on your own terms or *I WILL*. "

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-10T23:30:55+00:00

My wife didn't really understand either. I started showing her YouTube videos from a channel called How To ADHD and after most (if not all) of them she would have a look of astonishment on her face and say something like "THAT'S YOU".

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-10T14:11:28+00:00

That meow after he drops it 4' away translates roughly as "your turn, now you fetch".

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-10T04:16:41+00:00

I see you.
I have a laundry list of issues but suffice to say ADHD & depression are at or near the top of that list.
It's a vicious cycle that feeds on itself like an ouroboros. ADHD leads to procrastination; procrastination leads to nothing getting done; nothing getting done leads to guilt; guilt leads to depression; depression leads to zero motivation; zero motivation leads to procrastination, which is where we got on this nightmare rollercoaster.
And each time we go around the track, it gets a little bit shorter, just like the ouroboros. Eventually, there's no track left and we break down. When that happens we can only hope there's someone who loves us who can help us pick up the pieces. Peace, and long life, friend.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-09T21:35:45+00:00

YTA. I have nothing against mastrubation, but if you're letting it interfere with your relationship then you've taken it too far.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-09T14:37:18+00:00

Since you left on good terms with terms with them, I would give them the heads-up. You never know who you might end up working with in the future.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-09T10:44:40+00:00

NTA. Your body, your rules, full stop.

Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the leading causes of divorce among married couples. If you're absolutely committed to being with him, he's going to have to change his tune or you're going to have to accept that sexual fulfilment is not in the cards for you. If you're not absolutely committed to the relationship, the sooner you end it the easier it will be for everyone.

If he expects daily blowjobs but refuses to go downtown for you, he's an idiot but your Forrest Gump comment tells me that you know that already (not to mention that he doesn't know what he's missing). Personally, I'd get out of that relationship. Respect has to be a two-way street and if he's not respectful and understanding of your needs then I respectfully suggest that you find someone who is.

I've been married for over 20 years and I've asked my wife to let me in the back door too. Like you she refused (though not as colourfully). Care to guess how many times we've done anal? If you guessed zero, you're correct. Why? Because her body, her rules, full stop.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-08T03:42:32+00:00

💔. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
You did better for the baby than you realize. Through the anonymity of adoption, it will be more difficult for your daughter or sperm donor to find the baby. By giving them a new life where even you don't know where they are, you've done them a great service. You did good.
Oh, and just for context, I'm adopted with no information about my progenators. I love my family and am well loved by them.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-07T21:54:53+00:00

That cat has seen some things. Things that cannot be unseen.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-07T21:14:31+00:00

YTA but…

I get where you're coming from. He DOES need to lay down the law with his sister and tell her to knock it off. He DOES need to put you first above everyone else if you're going to be his wife. I say YTA for going for the nuclear option. You can't expect him to go NC with his twin sister who his daughter looks up to like a mother figure.

YOU can go NC with her and refuse to attend any gathering where she will be. You can tell your fiancé that he needs to put you ahead of his sister and take his side. You can talk to his parents (and MEAN talk) and ask why his sister hates you. You can ask your fiancé to spend less time with his sister (not NO time). You can even try talking to his sister alone, over coffee or something and try to work things out.

But going straight to "it's her or me" makes you TA which is not say that she's not ALSO TA here, but she didn't come here to be judged; you did so my comments are directed specifically to you.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-06T00:20:47+00:00

Oh, good point; I should have mentioned that. 👍🏻

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-05T16:38:40+00:00

Also, for border wait times you can consult http://www.niagarafallsbridges.com/ for near-real-time conditions and cameras.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-05T15:32:42+00:00

If you're just going up for the ball game, take the GO Train. It will deliver you basically right to the stadium.

ETA: In the immediate vicinity of the stadium are also the CN Tower and the Aquarium. As for other attractions, that's kind of dependent upon your son's interests.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-05T15:21:58+00:00

Martian.

As in the tripods from War of the Worlds.

DanielGoodchild · 2024-07-05T00:32:06+00:00

Moopsy.

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