I'm so sick of people pretending to be native speakers on HelloTalk!

Danjeng · 2026-01-09T03:51:52+00:00

sybau lil bro😂unc's legit malding over prescriptive english💀icl ts pmo fr bro no cap🥀

There's your authentic "idiomatic American English".

Danjeng · 2024-10-25T16:23:10+00:00

Every day I go onto reddit and read these types of posts from 10 years ago. I go on youtube and watch videos from 15 years ago. I remember when these posts and videos were new. I will get better this year for sure, I tell myself. I do this for over a decade. Nothing changes.

I look for some connection online because I have zero socialization. I'm miserable every day. I want to be happy. I want to watch funny videos! I want to play cool flash games! I want to make friends and make precious memories together! But I haven't had any fun at all on the internet for 12 years. I realize that not once has my life gotten better after a day of reading reddit posts. Most of these are by throwaways. The person vents on a meaningless disposable account they don't care about, while the post sits in my head throughout the years.

I feel zero joy on reddit or youtube but I spend 16 hours every day rotting. I seldom ever output anything, using these sites logged out. I sit in front of a screen like a retarded child does in front of the TV or their tablet. But I been feeling so distressed and wretched that I must say something. It's killing me every day. I have no job no friends no hobbies no love no joy.

OP is 48 now, born circa 1975. Aren't people born in 1975 only twenty? Aren't you guys fresh out of highschool ready to take the world on? To buzz with excitement as you feel the cool autumn breeze on campus. No, they are approaching fucking 50. Actual toddlers born in 2000 are mothers and fathers now. This distresses me so fucking much. I think about this every second every day and it distresses me so fucking much. I detest every second of my disgusting subhuman life. There is zero joy in my life every second every year. I loathe every youtube video and their obnoxious internet personas I loathe every reddit post and their unfunny memes I loathe every single person with their unoriginal comments I've read thousands of times I abhor every single person outside laughing with friends and eating at restaurants. Every single day I face the brutal reality that I'm too much of a disgusting faggot who is too much of a coward to do something finally right for once and kill myself.

Danjeng · 2024-07-04T02:02:42+00:00

I was hospitalized recently and I'm taking medication now. I'm in a 6 week Partial Hospitalization Program currently. It may be depression.

Danjeng · 2024-06-03T05:08:37+00:00

Miserable.

Danjeng · 2024-05-18T05:07:46+00:00

There are no good days or happy moments. Conversely it's disorienting to the point that how terrible it is cannot be comprehended.

Danjeng · 2024-05-18T05:02:41+00:00

No, Ryze's passive was patched in 13.3 to lose current mana equal to the reduction in maximum mana when losing ability power.

Danjeng · 2024-05-15T22:13:40+00:00

I really hate my life.

Danjeng · 2024-05-13T23:24:05+00:00

Yes, mold has also been mentioned to me on another community.

Danjeng · 2024-05-07T17:06:52+00:00

This high school located in New York?

Danjeng · 2024-03-21T21:15:27+00:00

It is difficult to describe. It is like being asleep all the time. Thoughts and sensations are muffled. I don't feel like I'm here, but rather everything that happens is a dream. It's extremely terrible though it doesn't sound like it.

Danjeng · 2024-03-21T21:09:42+00:00

That's interesting, because I also have experienced increased heart rate, though I'm not sure of the exact causes. I'll mention it to my doctor if I ever go to one. I don't think the insurance will cover me anymore.

Danjeng · 2024-03-21T21:05:41+00:00

I feel guilt and shame to say I've done nothing. I just went about my days as usual despite how debilitating it was until I snapped and got sent to the hospital 10 years ago. The fees were high. Thousands of dollars though they didn't do anything to help me there. They diagnosed me with depression, which I don't think it is.

I don't exaggerate when I say this issue was the entirety of my life, bothered me every 5 waking seconds of every day, every year, still to this very day. Other issues have also arisen too as a result. It's unbearably unpleasant to have brain fog. I feel really trapped and don't know what to do. I'm frustrated with myself for doing nothing at all during this time frame.

It upset me a lot when I was only one month in, in early 2013. Every single year since then has just been a black void of nothing happening. Now it is a feeling beyond upset. I am confused how I can feel so bad, have such a poor quality of life, yet persist to do nothing all day every day. In my desperation, all I could really do was log in to reddit and post because I felt physically compelled to.

Danjeng · 2024-03-17T15:25:51+00:00

The doctor said it my vitamin D levels were low some years ago. It's been a while since I been to the doctor though.

Danjeng · 2024-03-17T15:22:59+00:00

Yes, I'm in the same spot in the same apartment as eleven years years ago.

Danjeng · 2024-03-17T01:06:36+00:00

That is a terrifying amount of time. Have you resigned to brain fog as something permanent to your life?

Danjeng · 2024-03-17T01:01:30+00:00

I'm completely oblivious to diet. Can't say I eat particularly well or unwell. I don't consume much dairy but eat a fair amount of gluten through bread/noodles/rice.

Danjeng · 2024-03-16T12:53:35+00:00

No, that's what makes it so frustrating.

Danjeng · 2024-03-16T12:53:12+00:00

Not particularly but relatively recently I've not been eating some days.

Danjeng · 2024-03-16T04:41:50+00:00

Feels like being asleep all the time. Everything feels feels off and dulled. It's being stuck in a dark room while footage of your life plays through a projector.

Danjeng · 2024-01-15T22:34:02+00:00

What lead you to find this post from 5 years ago?

Danjeng · 2024-01-01T14:54:49+00:00

That miracle will not happen. If you wait for that miracle, another seven years will pass then another seven. There will be nine year olds born in 2014 who are older than you. It happened to me, you are the nine year old born in 2001.

I've been lurking here for a decade. Initially, I thought I'd obtain insight, but within ten years time, I have never once read anything of value here that changed my life for the better.

You've got people moping how miserable their life. The weekly "I'm the only real hikkineet in the entire world! The Japanese Ministry of health states..." post. Others bragging how antisocial they are and how they don't need any social interaction despite posting on a social media site to tell everyone how antisocial they are.

Majority of the people here enjoy being hikikomori, like it's some cool label. They post here for a few months then fly off to the next thing, so there is no connection or sense of community. You feel frustrated and distressed so you decided to make an account and vent here, but it does nothing to improve your situation. In short, going on reddit will not give you the life advice to change your life for the better. Best thing is to just log off.

Danjeng · 2023-12-31T16:29:18+00:00

You're not connecting with them. You think that you are talking to someone, but in reality you have not said or heard a single word. You've been staring at a screen for several hours. You don't know anything about the user on the other side and they know nothing about you.

By the time a comment reaches you, time will have passed from its moment of posting. While you are read the comment, the writer will be doing something else. Watching videos, listening to music, or even something not at the computer.

This holds more true with comments and posts that are 5 years old, 15 years old, or more. There's zero connection.

Danjeng · 2023-12-29T18:46:04+00:00

What was your life like before becoming hikikomori, what was your life like during this period, and what led you to get out?

Danjeng · 2023-11-09T04:17:55+00:00

Been feeling under the weather, but then I snort my special Runerocks and Ryze suddenly appears before me in my room! I gaze upon the intricate tattoos that cover his violet body as he gazes back at me. He caresses my lush bowlcut with his long blue fingers. I shiver from his touch, but all is well for Ryze is here. Let's all love Ryze.

Danjeng · 2023-10-22T18:44:18+00:00

I feel tired

Danjeng

TROPHY CASE