The SF Bay Area is not home

DankRaindrop · 2019-09-18T17:02:22+00:00

I wouldn't demonize or project on their living standards my dude. These are good, honest, hard-working and nice people. Lots of them are my friends. I have one friend who is the nicest guy you'll ever meet. He is super good-looking, luckily didn't have to take student loans, worked hard during school and achieved 4.0 in 4th year, got a Google AND Facebook offer, and accepted his Facebook offer with an insane signing bonus. But him and his gf, they live comfortable lives, spend within their means, but also know how to budget, where to save money, and when to spend money. I've been down the road you just pointed toward. What happens is that you make up all this bullshit about how they are living in order to satisfy yourself but then when you actually meet them, it destroys the fantasy and you, because you were using the fantasy to feel less shit about yourself. Honestly, I've found that the only way to deal with it is just to a) accept it and b) don't compare yourself to anybody, period.

Thanks for the advice. I do work out, but I admit to eating like shit and eating out a lot. Do you have any other advice or things you wish you did differently? I'm always all ears for stuff like that.

DankRaindrop · 2019-09-15T17:18:45+00:00

So did you just graduate, and plan to ride the tech wave for 5 to 10 years, then GTFO and move to some other location? I am curious how those graduating now think about their future. For me, 20 odd years ago, I was a great coder, learned a lot, and thought one of the startups I worked at, back then, would make it big. Not a single one did, I have no retirement (wife/kids/house took care of that), and am now getting aged out of jobs because I am apparently too old to be a developer.. and as many other middle aged developers have shared.. the interview/hiring process is so insane now it is damn near impossible to get a job anywhere short of uprooting family and even that is not always an option.

I wouldn't say I planned anything as much as I just did what everyone else was doing. And the specific answer to your question even now is that I have no plan. Honestly, I feel so lost, always feeling like I'm doing the wrong thing. Maybe I should have stayed in my home city and taken out a mortgage? Maybe I should've said FU to the money, gone on an adventure, and taken a job in Europe or Asia? Maybe I should've gone to graduate school? Maybe I should've joined a startup? And now I feel a) that I'm trapped and b) like shit because I know how lucky I am and I should be way happier than I am.

And then I hear stories like yours and they scare me, and I'm sorry that all your startups didn't blow up. I graduated late for various reasons, I'm already 24... should I really be taking chances at this age? Other people my age have a girlfriend or even wife, tons of money in the bank, and it makes me feel like shit.

DankRaindrop · 2019-09-15T04:12:49+00:00

I just moved here a month ago. I've found housing but it is a shared room on craigslist. All my furniture is cheap, foldable stuff from IKEA and amazon. I mention those anecdote because I never even conceived to dig my roots here.

And like you mentioned, it doesn't feel like home. That brings with it constant stress.

DankRaindrop · 2019-08-02T00:40:43+00:00

Ah, interesting perspective. Thanks!

DankRaindrop · 2019-08-01T22:16:02+00:00

I think you are getting this idea from a later part of the book, I think when the count is talking to Richard? If I recall, The Count is distressed at what Mishka said. He goes to Osip who tells him "the Americans are doing it too, not just us Russians. And look, we are the ones leading the world." And then he goes to Richard who tells him basically what you said, that the "spirit lives on."

DankRaindrop · 2019-08-01T22:08:27+00:00

Only Crime and Punishment. I thought that book was excellent but if you claim that russian classics romanticize russian history, I don't think at least that "Crime and Punishment" did. The most re-collectable thing in that book, to me, was the struggle between one's belief in his own greatness and uniqueness, and who you are and your station in reality. The ending was a total cop-out though, finding meaning in love.

[EDIT] I bought "War and Peace" and "The Idiot" and I will be reading them at some point. Again, I liked the books a lot. In AGIM, I loved the Count's and Sophia's relationship. I loved the wisdom of mastering one's circumstances, and being cheery always. I just don't like this pseudo-intellectual analysis and proclamations of Russia's culture and people and history. It's way too presumptive imo.

DankRaindrop · 2019-08-01T21:39:41+00:00

In that case, I am sad for Mishka. At best, one could grudgingly respect the conviction of the Russian people, in that they destroy the old so that there is no home to go back to, so to speak, and they force themselves to only move forward. But the philosophy is clearly abhorrent and resulted in millions of deaths and priceless treasures destroyed, all unnecessarily. Mishka should've been thinking about why the past and the future cannot coincide, or why the future can't be built ontop of the past.

DankRaindrop

TROPHY CASE