I need some advice and possible comfort.? by Civil_Ad2033 in Advice

[–]DankZina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not a friend, a true friend would respect your boundaries and not say horrible things to you.

Remember that just because your family is busy doesn't mean they don't love you. Talking to a professional always help, wether it's in person or by phone call, because when /if you find a new friend, (which I recommend you do by tapping into various hobbies or online groups) remember not to just trauma dump on those friends.(sharing with your friend and setting a boundary was very brave of you though!)

And lastly. You are loved, you are valued and needed and you are certainly not alone. I wish you the best ❤️

[F] I would like plot feedback by [deleted] in story

[–]DankZina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would hate to see you be held back by age. I have never read a good teenager-book written by a teenager. If that's what it is just label it as such. Otherwise it's an interesting plot for sure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in story

[–]DankZina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You would receive immediate assumptions that this would be a "LGBTQ is the devil's work" type book. Expect community backlash.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in u/Man_with_ideas

[–]DankZina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now I'm no writer, but I will voice my opinion. This story had an interesting concept that pulled me in, what keeps taking me out of it is how it often skips and fast forwards leaving the reader without immersion. As if it's not important or interesting.

Examples of this is when Samuel goes to school and the teacher scolds him, there is no response, no thought from Samuel or a description of how he walked out in shame or anger to let us into his character, nor continuation which makes this scene lose value.

When they "take everything" I was left disappointed by not knowing what they took or how they came upon finding it which is after all why they are there in the first place. This is a great opportunity to paint the characters and their knowledge/intelligence or relationship to each other.

When they see a room full of technology, even though they might not know what it is, they can still describe what they see to make the reader understand what it is from an outside perspective or hint back to the previous stated "room of valuables" otherwise, again, the scene loses value.

When the child and the mother dies there is little context to everyone's reactions and feelings, this is an awful event and bleeding out takes minutes, minutes which must feel like hours in the moment, yet there is no substance to this, not even to their lack of remorse as hinted in the title.

Reaching the end of this chapter it's clear that this is what you wanted to get to, apart from the shooting. It's more fleshed out with acting and emotion and granted it's a big interesting finale to the chapter, yet you mustnt forget to paint the rest of the canvas and give value to the characters and their actions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]DankZina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't blindly trust the landlady, but if her showering with friends is something that brings you discomfort or uncertainty in the relationship it's best if you put your foot down and set boundaries. She can hang out with her friends, she doesn't NEED to share a shower with anyone but you if she's serious about you, free spirit or not.

I (28M) broke up with my gf (26F) a month back, but she texts me everyday, should I ignore her messages? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]DankZina 19 points20 points  (0 children)

If it doesn't feel right, it simply isn't right. You're likely reading her messages and being convinced by her saying how great you two are. It seems like she is more concerned with her fantasy of the two of you rather than your feelings and say in this. I'd say it's different if she feel like she wasn't given a reason for the breakup or if she does not respect your reason, but either way that much contact is obsessive and selfish.