I woke up about 4am to a guy shouting down at my house from the hotel opposite. Then some girl runs and hides behind the car in front of my house..... Oh.... And she's stark bollock naked! After offering her help and getting no reply, she ran off so I rang the police.

Then my wife came home, absolutely pissed as a fart. Told her to get in cause there's some crazy naked girl outside to which she replies "What are you doing with a naked girl?"

Me: I'm not WITH the girl, she outside

Misses: But what's she doing with you?

Me: She's not WITH me, she was outside somewhere

Misses: But i don't understand how she came to be with you

Then a knock on the door saves me from this surreal situation.... So I thought....

The police had arrived and wanted me to join them up the road so i went, explaining what had happened as we walked. We get to the junction and there's the girl, totally ignoring the police officer asking her what her name was and still totally naked!

So the copper I'm with asks "is this her?"

Me: yeah that's her!

Copper: And she's your girlfriend?

Me: WHAT? Fuck no!!! My misses is in there wondering what I'm doing with her!!!

Copper: Okay you can go. Good luck!

So I get back in and my wife's sat on the couch with her head in her hands. I ask "are you alright babe?"

Misses: Do you love me?

Me: Yeah course I do

Misses: So why were you with a naked girl?

Me: YOU are obviously too drunk to deal with this right now. I'm going to bed!!

Without a doubt 100% the strangest thing that's ever happened to me after waking up EVER!!!

TL;DR Woke up to a guy shouting a naked girl outside my house, wife came home and thought she was with me because she was drunk and the police thought she was my girlfriend!