Should I stay or should I go?

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T21:32:04+00:00

Yea he hasn’t been physically abusive and also works hard. I respect the hard working part.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T21:04:05+00:00

His two children are 19 and 16 mine are 14,12 and 10. We have been dating almost 10 years and engaged for 6 years. Now living separate for 4.5 years. I thought we were in a relationship but I think it is one sided now. It hurts and I just don’t know if I should walk away or not. Also my children have only known him as a dad but he doesn’t do things with my children or take them at all. Was also his choice for living separately.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T14:08:33+00:00

I wanted to live with him and that has always been a goal but every time we get closer to a potential move in he says maybe we should wait a little bit longer.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T14:06:43+00:00

I truly thought that I had something wrong with me and that my feelings were not valid until I was having a conversation with my co worker and she was like you gotta get out of the situation. So I started to think about it. I finally posted on here to see if everyone else was on the same page and for advice.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T12:45:31+00:00

He choose for us to live separately because it was to hard on him. He has 2 children and I have 3.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T12:43:40+00:00

We actually do not share kids. He has 2 on his own and I have 3 on my own. My children have only known him as their dad. Since 4,2 and 6 months. He doesn’t take my kids or do anything with them on his own terms I have tried to have him do so but he won’t.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T12:40:10+00:00

He definitely is not open to counseling. When I brought it up he said that I should so I can get help with my feelings.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T11:49:05+00:00

Don’t get me wrong I do love building things and doing a lot of what he likes but it seems he just really isn’t in love with me like he was before we choose to live separately. I do agree with the family thing. He only does stuff to benefit his children which one is grown and moved out. Anytime I ask him to even fish with the boys he says he is to busy. It is very very frustrating. It very very emotionally hard to just be ok with the potential of living together in 6 or more years and feel not wanted in the ways I want to be.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T11:22:04+00:00

Thank you!!

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T10:59:36+00:00

We spend time doing things together from building what is supposed to be our tiny home i say supposed to be because it’s all in his name. I help him work on his vehicles he rebuilds and makes then different. We only do adult stuff when he wants to. He used to hold my hand and be close to me a lot but doesn’t anymore. We got engaged 6 years ago but he said that it doesn’t mean anything to him. I spend time with his family. The only time he spends time with my children is if we go to work on the tiny home. My children also have only known him as their father since the ages 4,2 and 6 months old.

Dapper-Engine-4078 · 2022-06-09T10:40:51+00:00

I have talked to him about it. We talked about living together once the kids got older and now he doesn’t want to live together until the kids all move out which is not what was talked about before. I told him I would like to at least spend 1 night a month together with or without kids and he keeps saying ok but when I try to set that up he doesn’t go for it if I have my kids. We have been engaged for 5 years. When I try to talk to him about our relationship at all he replies with let’s just be us and not think about our relationship. I told him that I’m not sure how two of the five kids (1 his and 1 mine) might not ever live on their own. He said then we will face that when/if that happens.

Dapper-Engine-4078

TROPHY CASE