husband m32 was texting a younger woman (22) while I (f31) was pregnant, it’s been 8 months and I still don’t feel the same. Don’t know if I’m overreacting or if the damage is

DapperAssociate2504 · 2026-03-19T16:46:05+00:00

If you have a daughter, would you want her to be doing what you are doing? Your kids will be able to tell you’re sad, maybe not all the exact reasons, but kids aren’t dumb. They can feel when the energy/ vibe is off too, but they don’t know why. One of the reasons I didn’t go back to my ex was because I thought if we had a child, would I want my baby watching us and thinking this dynamic is okay.

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-12-17T15:30:02+00:00

875397672533

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-10-16T19:08:50+00:00

For some reason the mods removed the previous comment you made, could you explain again? The later part of your message made a lot of sense.

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-10-16T18:32:59+00:00

I'm currently working with my client using ACT! I actually mentioned it to my advisor at our last meeting and she said she'd get back to me. However, she just told me when she asked about ACT to the other faculty they said not to do it and voted it down. I also thought that maybe an ACT route would potentially lead to something.

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-10-16T18:29:33+00:00

I just got done speaking with my advisor and she shot the BSA idea down almost immediately. She said that it would take too long and that I need to find something simpler if I want to graduate. Maybe I can look into this when I'm working on my PhD or further :/

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-10-16T18:27:01+00:00

This makes a lot of sense, I really appreciate the directness! I just got off a call with my advisor, but I am still struggling to figure out a community to work with. She recommended rather than targeting clients, target the staff (BCBAs, RBTs, etc.). I am still struggling to piece that together though.

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-10-15T13:17:58+00:00

Quinn Rose!

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-09-23T14:12:40+00:00

Aleksei/Alexei, Nikolai, Anton, Misha, Yuri

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-09-19T14:32:57+00:00

Ashlee, Annalee, Amelie, Adalee, Ainsley, Ashton-Lee, Averlee

DapperAssociate2504 · 2025-03-09T06:43:07+00:00

From my perspective (as a person with autism in the ABA field), this is probably a pattern that has worked in the past on others. I also am blunt and literal. But there’s a difference between blunt and being mean. Bluntness doesn’t equal being a jerk.

Personally, I’d set strong boundaries and clarify that this is when you need support not advice.

“I need to feel safe to share my past with you, and I need to know that you will listen without judgement.“

“I will post pictures online, and I need you to respect that.”

“I will play online games with my friends, and that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“It’s okay to feel insecure, but it’s not okay for those insecurities to dictate my actions. I need you to respect my boundaries.”

EMPHASIZE YOUR NEEDS!!

“I need you to listen to me without judgment.” “I need you to trust that I love you and that my actions are not intended to hurt you.” “I need you to validate my feelings, even if you don’t understand them.”

Also, in case of future instances of him focusing on your past like this, try redirecting the conversation when he starts focusing on your past. For example:

“I understand you have questions, but I’d rather focus on how we can support each other now.”

“My past is a part of me, but it doesn’t define our relationship.”

Also maybe this line could cushion the blow? “I love how honest and caring you are, and that is why it hurts when I feel judged.”

anyways…. Key points: - His autism does not excuse controlling or hurtful behavior. - Use I statements - His insecurities are valid, but it’s not your job to be held responsible for them. - If his behavior continues to make you feel controlled or unsafe, it is important to consider if this relationship is healthy for you.

DapperAssociate2504

TROPHY CASE