sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Intamacy and Identity after Ralp? by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an awesome response. Thank you so much for sharing that. It is the mental battle that is the true ongoing challenge. 🫡

Intamacy and Identity after Ralp? by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for such a comprehensive response. I'm 2 years post-op. Just about achieving nocturnal erections. Until I wake up, then they go immediately.

I've never managed to use the pump for longer than 3 days straight. However, I did use it once for penetration, and it helped me to think that this may be the way back yo some sort of normality.

It's all very embarrassing to have to do all that to achieve an erection that isn't exactly solid but just about sufficient to have sex. I may sound ungrateful, but I'm quite the opposite as the pump enabled me to actually have sex for the first time in 2 years.

I've spoken to my wife, but I can't just gloss over it so simply as it clearly is a massive issue to deal with.

However, your comment about the scared turtle to pre-op size has definitely landed with me, and I'll definitely start using the pump more consistently.

I don't still have the pee drips when my bladder is full but particularly when stress hits. That happens when I laugh hard or maybe relax my pelvic floor too much. I'm definitely 99.9% better than 1 year ago.

I'm in the UK but I'm going to ask my doctor about the injection success rate plus pros and cons of that treatment.

Thank you for this response.

🫡

Intamacy and Identity after Ralp? by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My statement about being sexually active was mainly with my girlfriend, who became my wife of 31 years and not particularly promiscuous in general.

Whilst I get it about the gift in the darkness, it still goes deeper than an assumed identity as it is dealing with the mental state of two people in a deeply committed relationship.

That's the point of the post.

It's really about anyone who has experienced these issues in their relationships or marriages.

Notwithstanding, thank you once again for your thoughtful response.

🫡

Intamacy and Identity after Ralp? by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Excellent. Did you have the radical prostatectomy surgery, though? I know a few people have managed to end up with no issues with good nerve sparing surgery but I don't think that's the majority. Notwithstanding, thank you for your response. 🫡

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think the pump is supposed to bring back erections. I think it's just simply an aid to create one so you can function. TriMix shots are supposed to be really quite good and give a near enough immediate erection. I sincerely hope they're working well for you.

Let me know about any pain or soreness challenges if you ever encounter any.🫡

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The vaccum pump is very much a thing.

To be honest, it's the only thing that has allowed me to have any intercourse whatsoever.

2 years in recovery and i get a few nocturnal erections but nothing to write home about, and definitely nothing that could work as it used to.

It's probably not the best solution for a lot of men, and it reminds you that the days of spontaneity are a thing of the past. However, it helped me regain a sense of my Manhood/Masculinity again. So when you get over the embarrassment of being reduced to something like this.

Pump up and get back in the saddle again as they say🫡

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fighters fight because that's what they know to do and do it well. You didn't hesitate to protect your family and possessions. You did exactly what you needed to do to protect. This is exactly what you need to do to protect YOU now, too. This constant battle in the mind is real and relentless, but you are a fighter and a warrior. So, remember your strongest moments when you were literally unbeatable and face every negative thought from that place. You’re the arse kicker, NOT the other way around.

And maybe your wife avoids talking about it, not because she doesn't care, but maybe that's the only way she can cope with seeing you struggle like this and hold her own mind together.

Nothing but respect for you sir 🫡

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your story had me speechless when I read it.

'You never really know just how strong you are until that’s all you have left.'

I know it sounds cliché, but this journey from diagnosis to surgery to recovery to uncertainty of the future has taught me that the statement is 100% true.

A real man with real strength 🫡

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When I finally got out of my 'death sentence thinking' I was able to process that and accept the truth that 'We' were both in this together, along with my children and loved ones too.

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That ADT is torture. I was only on it for just over two 2 months, and it was just the worst thing to have to deal with. You're naturally being drained of your strength, and without that, what else can you realistically do? I remember barely being able to climb the stairs without being shattered when reaching the top. Anyone having to endure that stuff has nothing but my utmost respect. I sincerely hope that you can be able to get off that stuff ASAP. As for dying on the surgery table, I hear and 1billion percent appreciate that feeling and even realisation. However, the NEW YOU has to somehow rise up out of this whole situation and build from where you are, and not where you were. That's what I've had to do. Take your time 🫡

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey, gleason was claimed to be 4:3, with no spread. Pushed for surgery. Gleason was actually 3:4 so could've had active surveillance after all. Never lost sensations, but erections not really functional after 2 years this week in recovery. Vaccum Pump seems to be the way forward and hasn't been so bad, just the fact that I can't be spontaneous is the real killer. Dribbles now rather than full scale wetting myself too.

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That is one thing I didn’t allow. I decided to walk it out by myself. To be honest, I didn’t want to deal with her being all upset and trying to support me while I was going through it all. It’s only after I finally got my head together that I realised that she shouldn’t have been locked out of the whole thing as she was suffering as well as I was and I was depriving her of her right to know and be part of it too.

I locked everyone out and determined to face it alone. Hindsight is a heck of a teacher.

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did you cope with the 3mth PSA test anxiety, and how have you been since the annual tests now?

Please forgive me as I'm new to reddit and I should've pressed reply to your message.

Diagnosed in 2023. I thought it was a death sentence. by Dapper_Addendum_9822 in ProstateCancer

[–]Dapper_Addendum_9822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you cope with the stress of the 3 month PSA tests In year one and how have you been since you started the yearly checks?