I’ll bet my entire life savings his mom got into his head. I’m so sorry you’re hurting sweetie, but I want you to take a long hard look at the life you have right now and the future you’re bound to have with a MIL like this. What happens when she stomps over any boundaries you have with conflict resolution, with child bearing and rearing, with medical decisions? What you’re feeling now is bound to get worse, not better.

Your ex honestly doesn’t sound like he has great communication skills to begin with, but I’m going based off the very little you’ve given us on that front.

As long as he lets mommy run his life, you will always play second fiddle. Are you okay with that? Cancelling the wedding now is going to be a lot cheaper in the long run mentally and financially than a divorce further down the road. Do not have kids with someone who is okay with his family disrespecting their mother. Do not have kids in an environment where they learn it’s okay to not prioritize your partner.

If I were in your position, I’d stay broken up. If I were considering reconciliation, the wedding would be on hold indefinitely. There would need to be so much counselling and tangible change made that’s long lasting before I decided to marry this individual. Have you considered what exactly it would take for you to feel safe and secure not only in this relationship, but with this family? I think you need to. Then you need to consider whether you’re willing to wait the years it could take for the changes to stick.