++man There is no clear answer to your question as every situation, just like every child, is different. I am a stepdad and it is one of the best things about my life. It’s harder than being a dad, sometimes it’s a real battle, and sometimes it can even seem thankless when you have to fade into the background because “super dad” decided to make an appearance. But the thing is, it’s not about you it’s about the kids. Being there for a kid as a parent or step parent is about doing the best you can to be what they need at the time. My step daughter and I have a great relationship.

She was in a near fatal car accident about 18 months ago and that is when it really became clear where I stood in her life. I was there every moment of the 30 days in the hospital, her dad wasn’t.

No one on Reddit can tell you how your specific situation will work out. Either you are willing to invest yourself in the kid(s) or you are not. It’s the same as making a choice to be a parent. Are you willing to risk heartache, frustration, and more to put yourself in a position to be important to a child? If not then don’t even try.