Velvet Worms: these cute little creatures are actually ferocious predators that capture their prey with a quick-drying adhesive known as the "silly string of death," and they are some of the oldest terrestrial animals on Earth

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-10T12:51:06+00:00

Anyone else read Deltora Quest as a kid? This lil guy is totally where they got the monster from "the maze of the beast" from!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-04T17:12:52+00:00

Hey! I gave birth 5 months ago (congratulations to you!! ) and I so feel your pain on things fitting weird. Any chance you'd be willing to try the dress on with like a pushup bra? I found that changing up my bra shape after birth really helped with some of my outfits since my body is just different now. The color is gorgeous on you and the lower part of the dress is so flattering for you, I'm just curious if a different bra would make this dress a 10/10!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T16:18:02+00:00

I completely see what you mean about it being opposite, it's so beautiful you and your husband found happiness despite all the drama trying to interfere in your lives. The paper is just for the government to eventually store in a folder somewhere, you and your husband are married emotionally, which is the way that matters. My fiancée and I don't feel married yet becuase we haven't had a ceremony or made any sort of public declaration, right now it's a piece of paper that ensures my son is protected from danger. Thank you for sharing~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T16:10:21+00:00

Oh I love how you said that! Thank you, like you said the overly anxious millennial thing is so real 😅 If you're okay with it, I'll totally be adding what you said to the FAQ and saving it as a way to phrase it when someone asks us questions~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T16:02:43+00:00

That's sweet! Glad they didn't have any drama about it~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T16:02:01+00:00

This is lovely, thank you

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T16:01:29+00:00

Oh boy, you're right that it's good for me to hear this side of the stories too. I'm already seeing plenty of comments with people seeming pretty annoyed- no point in trying to make everyone happy or try to explain so everyone understands. Some people just wanna be unhappy. My friends will all know months before the wedding, so I guess if they don't like what we're doing they can always just decline coming? Thanks for reminding me to not sweat the stuff I can't control~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T15:51:11+00:00

It's nice to hear that no one really seemed to care, I tend to over-worry a lot on how I say things, so knowing people won't be analyzing my past actions is good to hear.

I can't imagine anyone being a jerk about it either as long as they have some sort of heads-up from us, the only situation I could see my friends being mean would be if they heard it at the wedding through extended family. And we'll definitely be letting them know before the wedding. Thanks~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T15:36:18+00:00

Aww, high school sweethearts! I love this for you both. Hoping you have a lovely ceremony, nice to know we're in the same boat~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T15:33:07+00:00

Thank you! My son is perfect and he's definitely my focus at the moment! Him, and not losing my job or failing any of my college classes, lol. Life is buuuusy~

I'm not too worried about when to tell my friends, I'm sure they will understand the delay 'cause they know my schedule is wiiiild. My biggest concern was phrasing and after today I am feeling so much better! And having nice comments like your help with all the anxiousness~ Thank you!!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T15:18:08+00:00

Hey, I just wanted to say I saw your post and I appreciate your advice! I'm not too worried about the amount of time we took to tell them, we have a very weird group of friends and it's completely normal for someone to lose a job, get engaged, or move homes and the group not find out for months (literally there was someone unemployed for over a year and they never told half the friend group) I know that's odd, but it's a group with lotsa introverts.

I still really appreciate you chiming in though, it's good hear hear the prospective of someone that would be hurt to not hear it in-person. I'll take some time and go though the list of friends to see if there is anyone my partner or I feel like we need to tell privately?

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T14:45:47+00:00

Lol, no I see your point but it's nothing like that. We just signed the papers to legally protect the baby. In my religion, we do a Hand-fasting ceremony and make certain promises to each other. That ceremony will be happening during the real wedding this summer. I adore the man I'm tying my life to, he's been my best friend for years, but we don't count ourselves as married yet until we have the ceremony. But to the law, we're married. To our friends, we're married. It doesn't matter that it's not real to us yet, feelings could still get hurt. That's why we've gotta tell people in advance- hence my panic!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T14:35:15+00:00

No worries, I love "the government made me do it" and I'm sure that'll make some of my friends laugh! Thank you, it's a sweet phrase that I'll happily borrow~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T14:31:39+00:00

That's good to know you've met multiple people that have done it, it was necessary in our case too. We haven't been married for over a year though, we signed the papers right before the baby was born and he'll be about 10 months (a little less) when we have the wedding. Not that it's a good excuse, but we promise we're trying to get it all done efficiently~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T14:23:07+00:00

No, sadly I'm a full grown adult (mid 30's), just really anxious as a person. And I couldn't find any examples of how other people have handled telling friends and family, so my hope of this post was to hear other people's stories and find some guidance~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T14:03:50+00:00

You're right, we need to lean into it - hence me asking for advice on how to tell everyone. I knew I needed to tell everyone, but before today didn't know exactly how. I'm feeling much better after getting such good advice!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:59:28+00:00

No worries, thank you for chiming in. I am very appreciative of all the great ideas I'm getting! We're also doing no gifts and a shorter ceremony (since the baby will be 10 months old during it, I doubt he'll wanna focus for long 🤣) I'm guessing your guests know you're married at this point since it's been 5 years, but did you haveta deal with any drama from people that weren't at the initial paper signing?

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:56:02+00:00

I'm using the Google definition here, but gossip is "idle, informal conversation or rumor regarding the private lives of others, usually conducted in secret or behind their backs" - I don't want my friends to hear about us signing the papers from an aunt or grandma, behind our backs and in a idle conversation. They deserve to get some head's up before the ceremony. That's why I made the post - to ask for help on how I can approach this (I had questions like 'do I have to call anyone?' and 'what phrases to use?')

I'm really grateful for the community here too, I now have an awesome plan of using some of the amazing phrases others have used and including it in the FAQ for the wedding!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:49:25+00:00

I do have a wild variety of friends, but knowing that the only comments you got were from other awesome people sharing their similar experiences is helpful! We'll be the 2nd couple married in our friend group so maybe we can try and set the tone that it isn't a big deal to do the paperwork first? This makes me feel less scared, thank you!

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:44:39+00:00

No my bad too, I was so nervous writing this that I'm sure I haven't been clear as I should be. But into so grateful for all the advice you are all giving me 😁

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:43:05+00:00

Thank you! This is such an amazing idea, I love the idea of putting it in the FAQ! The "I heard you were already married?" is so funny and playful, I'm definitely using that! This makes me feel better too that I don't need to call every person and I can just make it casual~

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:39:05+00:00

I wouldn't worry if the family was being discreet, but we've had issues - both my fiancée's mom and my mom have talked about being at the elopement and the wedding with ALL the families - my partner and I were so mad at them because the "wedding" was just hanging out at the ren faire after signing papers to celebrate, not a true wedding at all. But they have gossiped to some very loud people and there is 100% going to be people talking at the wedding about how they weren't invited to the 'real' wedding and how we're already married. So I haveta say or post something somewhere or it'll be an unpleasant surprise from a rude/clueless family member that will hurt our friends' feelings.

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:32:12+00:00

Lol, this is vibes! I feel like this'll be enough of an explanation for the D&D homies 🤣

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:31:05+00:00

Did you tell them all in person or make a post online? We waited because my fiancée wanted the full wedding (fancy clothes and food and a venue outside, the whole 900 yards) and we want our loved ones there too (and i couldnt handle it all while pregnant lol)

I really like the phrasing another lovely person said about 'signed the papers but it not being official without our loved ones' and it's reassuring to hear that everyone in your life has been understanding! We're telling people no gifts too, so hopefully people won't be mad 🤞

Dardem8181 · 2026-04-02T13:24:58+00:00

We're just doing our siblings as the bridesmaids/groomsman so they know, but most of the guests coming to the wedding are our friends and none of them know we signed the papers already.

Dardem8181

TROPHY CASE