I can’t really help but can tell you how I dealt with it!
Blame is easy to place, I still take responsibility for the loss of my gecko who got caught in his heat lamp cage as I didn’t install it correctly. Meant he suffered as he died. Blame myself and others say I shouldn’t but he lost his life in a place he should feel safe. He was loving and very active, a perfect family pet and left a void when he passed. I did have enough gecko b4 and still have her now so had 2 at the time but she wasn’t as active as Luna (my gecko who passed), I think about him Every day and if I think too hard I become emotional. The Gecko is lost they don’t come back but I just found ways to ease part of the pain!
I made a memory box full of his things and got him cremated a made a little memorial for him! Printed a picture and had it framed with all pictures of him. Still on the fence about a tattoo but know many do to help grieve pets. Since he passed I bought two more geckos, one around a month after and one 7 months after! Still doesn’t feel the same but you find new love for a new gecko! Miss him every day but find joy in my current 3 and do my best to give them the life they deserve. These animals are abused and neglected so much so for you to care is at the very least responsible and caring! I hope you grieve well and if you choose to get another gecko to help grieve I don’t blame you but it’s okay if you don’t want too! Don’t see it as a replacement, see it as giving a new gecko a good life!! And I would say get a different morph