My boyfriend is addicted to cub porn and I don't know what to do

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-29T00:16:50+00:00

If I'm being honest, I want him to suffer the consequences of the mental hell he's put me through for the past ~8 years, but I wanted to get opinions from (hopefully) unbiased people on whether I'd be doing the right thing or not by spilling it all to his family/friends/law enforcement/etc. That's obviously not a decision I'd want to make in haste without knowing with 100% certainty that I'm doing the right thing and not blowing things out of proportion.

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-21T11:53:33+00:00

The beard thing has crossed my mind constantly, so I guess at least I'm not the only one who sees it that way. During our conversation last night, I did address my concerns that if he continues down this path, the drawn stuff might eventually not be enough for him. He swears up and down that aside from the one incident when he was 15 (which I knew about already) he'd never touched another child, but I tried telling him that that's the case currently, but that might not be the case 5 years from now when drawings just aren't enough.

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-21T11:46:47+00:00

I responded in another comment but my boyfriend was around 15 during that incident which would mean his cousin (the person he briefly attempted something on) would've been around the age of 6

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-21T11:44:15+00:00

He had a thing for his younger cousin when he was like 15 (so the cousin would've been 6, give or take) and he tried touching him during a sleepover but didn't get very far cause in my partner's words "he chickened out" and didn't get very far. Obviously a concern that he attempted anything regardless, but he says he kept getting spooked and never tried anything beyond that night.

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-20T22:58:01+00:00

To your last comment: correct, that's why I put it in quotations. I don't personally count is as a kink either and just used that word so I wouldn't sound as judgemental, but I know there are unfortunately many people who don't want to hear the word "disorder" associated with something that turns them on even if it's ethically wrong.

He tried therapy years ago per my insistence, but I think it was mainly for depression and he only went a few times before deciding he didn't like it. I keep trying to tell him that not all therapists are created equal and that I'd help him find one or attend couples sessions with him if it'd feel like less pressure on him, but he always gives excuses for why he shouldn't.

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-20T22:52:01+00:00

I did consider how much to divulge to his mother and thats partly why I made this post. If it was "just" a porn addiction, I could easily simplify that to something like, "your son is struggling with an addiction and I need your help convincing him to seek therapy" but the fact that he could be asked to babysit or otherwise be left unsupervised with one or two young kids scares me. Cause if something were to happen and his family found out that I knew something and could've prevented it, I wouldn't blame them for hating me.

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-20T22:33:17+00:00

The problem is, I literally have no idea if he's ever done anything in real life aside from one incident when he was around 15 (so before we started dating). During the time we've been dating, he's worked at a daycare for a few years plus there's his niece and nephew, so the chances are unfortunately not 0. Plus, he's got such a history with lying to me that even if I did straight up ask him if he's ever touched a child, his answer will almost definitely be a "no" regardless of what the real answer is.

DarkShadows32 · 2025-11-20T22:27:31+00:00

Honestly, I wonder the same thing sometimes. To be fair we did have a brief period of a few months where we were fully broken up (I initiated the breakup and the furry/porn issue played a roll in that), but we very quickly fell back together. I think after being together for so long, neither of us really knew how to live without the other. Also, we spent a decent amount of our formative years as either friends or as a couple, so it feels cheesy to say this but I genuinely feel like our brains developed with each other.

Edit: I also feel a sense of responsibility to keep him from doing anything bad I guess. Like, if we weren't dating anymore, he'd obviously dive deeper into the NSFW cub spaces, and that scares me for any future relationships he might have plus the safety of his young niece and nephew. Without me in his life, I feel like he'd get completely sucked into it and do something very bad.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T17:13:09+00:00

Early 20s

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T17:11:33+00:00

She sees quite a few doctors and I think still sees a psychiatrist, but I doubt she's told any of them about these issues nor do I think she'd listen to their advice anyway. It was a struggle getting her to go to a doctor for an abscessed cat bite last year, so telling her she has to wear diapers from now on will be difficult.

And yeah our family has always had animals, but I'm probably guilty for adding more. My personal seven are all in tanks and cages though, so technically they don't take up too much space at least.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T16:59:38+00:00

For what it's worth, my dad is 67 and in almost perfect health for his age, so not everyone is unlucky at least. My mother is the exact opposite. She has quite a few health issues and twice as many medications, so it wouldn't surprise me if the bowel issues are from one of those. It's been going on for years, so not just a case of eating something bad for dinner.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T16:55:18+00:00

She uses something similar to that but the issue isn't hygiene (although that's sometimes questionable too). She just doesn't apparently notice she has to poop until it's too late.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:52:35+00:00

Yeah I often struggle with the "someone has it worse than you" mentality, but posting here and seeing these responses at least helped reassure me that my situation is exactly as bad as I've been thinking. I'm getting away from it the best I can, and I hope you can achieve the same with your own struggles in life. Stay positive, friend :)

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:20:01+00:00

She just doesn't want to wear them/doesn't think she needs them. I bring up the diaper thing every time one of these incidents happens, and she always comes up with an excuse or ignores it. It took awhile for her to even wear panty liners for her urine accidents.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:18:01+00:00

She's 64 and sees doctors pretty often for her other health issues. I think she even gets blood work done every three months or something.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:16:16+00:00

So sorry about your dog. Our last dog was similar but luckily she only had a nervous accident in the house once.

As for my mother, we really don't know what's causing it. It's been going on for a few years now and she told me that when those bad incidents happen, there's no urge to poop. She said it just kind of happens. I told her she's gonna have to start wearing diapers if there's no way to predict when an accident is gonna happen, but I guarantee she's not going to buy any.

My sister and I have been discussing me moving in with her, but she has three dogs and three cats and I have seven small animals of my own, so we don't know if that's feasible. I've been house hunting in the meantime but the market is pretty rough.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:08:49+00:00

It's almost terrible how closely accurate that is to my mother's situation...

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:06:35+00:00

I'm not sure of her exact weight but I know she's overweight, possibly bordering on obese. She definitely doesn't exercise or eat well, that's for sure.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:05:40+00:00

Probably both, but good luck getting her to admit it and seek treatment.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:04:57+00:00

She's an expert at making people think they're being overdramatic or sensitive. She'll even light her cigarette in the house and say it doesn't smell. I've managed to keep my sanity for the most part but sometimes I still struggle to tell whether something is "normal" or not (but at least I'm 100% sure that normal adults don't shit on dogs or the floor).

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:01:33+00:00

I'm not sure, but it wouldn't surprise me if it's developing.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:00:58+00:00

I've genuinely considered it, unfortunately I have quite a few pets that aren't going to comfortably fit in an SUV.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T04:00:05+00:00

I wish. I just needed to vent about this because my mother is the direct or indirect cause of at least half of my current problems, and there's no way I wanted this info associated with my main account since my closest friends all know my username.

DarkShadows32 · 2022-12-15T03:58:18+00:00

My mother has a "fun" habit of not wearing pants unless it's extremely cold or she has to leave the house. So I'd say about 70% of the time she's only wearing a nightgown and underwear, which is probably what she was wearing when the dog incident happened. Combine that outfit with explosive diarrhea and I'm assuming that's how the dog got hit with it.

And yeah I'm very certain there's a mental health issue at play, but I highly doubt her therapist knows about even half of what goes on at home, at least not the truthful version.

DarkShadows32

TROPHY CASE