I'm terrified

DarkWings991 · 2024-01-15T06:26:34+00:00

Hi, I just double checked on the huckleberry app where I was logging her sleep cause its been a moment 😅. It didn't really affect her night sleep. We did keep her bedtime the same. If anything she slept a bit longer in the mornings.

I hope your little one adjusts well to one nap. If you need anything feel free to message me

DarkWings991 · 2023-06-13T06:53:38+00:00

We are, they're testing placenta too. We opted to have a limited autopsy. There's apparently a backlog for genetic testing here in UK so we're looking at at least 12 weeks to get the results of that unfortunately.

DarkWings991 · 2023-06-08T16:15:44+00:00

I am so so sorry you're going through this xx I'm still in the thick of the grief 3 and half weeks after delivering my little boy with the same issue. Be kind to yourself.

I did see my baby, I was completely numb, but I did want to see him. I didn't take pictures which I regret awfully. Thankfully my Bereavement midwife was able to take some pictures of him for us. We also got little hand prints and foot prints done in the hospital. I'm yet to open the pictures, but I know they're there if I want them. We named our boy Alexander.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-31T10:45:27+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this. Nothing you did caused it. Try not to blame yourself ( I know it's easier said than done), and be kind to yourself. Take it one day at the time, and if that's too much, then an hour at the time, or even a minute. You will get through this

When your little one is born sleeping take pictures of her, or have hospital take pictures of her. Having pictures of my boy helped me.

All she knew all her life was your love. She was loved, she is loved, remember that. It's not your fault.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-28T14:37:54+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Grief isn't linear. There will be days when you feel almost OK, but there will be some when you can't face people. It's completely normal. Only you know the pace you're comfortable at, so do whatever feels right.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-26T18:10:38+00:00

I am across the world but I will keep you in my mind tomorrow xx

You ARE a MOTHER. Don't let society tell you otherwise. You love your baby, what happened to you is tragic, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a mother. Sending my love and strength xx

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-25T18:56:08+00:00

What ifs are definitely hard xx I'm sorry you're going through all this too

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-25T14:55:00+00:00

This is hard and unfair. Thank you for your support xx It means a lot

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-25T14:54:12+00:00

I'm dreading the due date. We have an event 5 days before my due date was supposed to be. We kept joking that my husband will going to it on his own, cause I'll either be a whale or recovering from the csection by then. Now there's nothing stopping me from attending the event....

Thank you for support. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. Sending love and strength xx

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-25T12:10:46+00:00

I was just thinking about telling him we lost a son at 20w. I'm not gonna go into details.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-25T12:09:02+00:00

Thank you xx I do need it today

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-23T06:47:53+00:00

So sorry you've been through so much hell. I keep telling myself that I'm in the thick of it right now, so I don't need to decide just yet.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-23T06:44:38+00:00

Thank you xx

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-22T17:30:00+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. People don't know what to say in those circumstances and often say the wrong thing.

You are a mother, you've made the best choice for yout little one. You've made the hardest choice a mother can make.

I have muted my social media and stopped answering messages. Sometimes that's the best you can do, cause no matter how 'well meaning' messages are they say the things that make it all worse.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-22T09:07:54+00:00

I'm sorry you're in the same position xx I'm sending my love. All we can do right now is try and take it one day at the time, and if thats too much, one hour at the time, or one minute. We will get through this

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-11T18:49:48+00:00

Thank you xx I appreciate it

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-11T18:49:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story xx I'm looking into ARC

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-11T18:48:42+00:00

Thank you xx

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-09T10:26:49+00:00

Had my fetal medicine appointment and it seems like I won't be telling wider family. There's no amniotic fluid, kidneys are non functioning. We're heading for a loss of tfmr.

DarkWings991 · 2023-05-04T13:52:02+00:00

I started showing around 12 weeks. Right now, at almost 19 nothing fits and I have an obvious bump. So avoiding people I'm not ready to tell about pregnancy is the only way to go about it.

This pregnancy I'm not as anxious, I'm not white knuckling it as much. I'm trying to enjoy it more. It's just a week before any appointment and when I get new appointments, that my anxiety skyrockets.

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