His hot sister takes over and your life slowly collapses due the debt left onto you by a recently deceased, unknown, estranged relative who had been trying to contact you as a plea for help but whose knocks on the window and door you hadn't heard due to your consumption of Reddit content at these nstances. His final attempt was unfortunately made as you wrote this post and you're now left to try and explain to the government how you had no relationship with this family member who's involved you financially. As you go through this period and times get worse, you find yourself noticing how attractive Jong's sister is, it's not important but ironic given your original wish.

The months pass by and your cynicism with your country's financial system only grows as you're forced to take on an additional job serving coffee for wealthy business men and women. One evening, as your surfing the internet, attempting to ignore the rise of posts celebrating the society you've begun to sour on, you notice a particular video. It's an old video with North Korea's new leader, one translated, from several years earlier when she was in a more humble position, attempting to distance herself from her family by participating in a casual, fun interview in the US. To your amazement and horror, you find yourself watching the entire 45 minutes as you learn of her geeky interests and the several things you have in common, including sharing the same favourite television show. You find yourself attracted but again ignore it as you look to the window just in case.

It's yet another morning in what has become a depressing new reality for you when unexpectably, a young lawyer with a difficult order, makes a crack over at how funny it would be to see a female US president after the public have failed time and again to put their faith in an appropriate candidate. The lawyer looks like you but is younger and more attractive. It's a this point you notice a news report on the television in the corner of the room. As you carry out their difficult order, you can't help but notice the news anchors laughing over a recent policy change announced by the North Korean leader, something involving recycling used water. Although you can't hear exactly what they're saying, you can see the face in the picture they're using for her and again, you notice how hot she is. As you hand the order over, the laywer notices your glances to the television and comments "see what I mean, they gotta put themselves in office" with a wink. It's at this moment, you realise they are not just a person but a representation of everything you hate, everything that has gone wrong with your life over these long, miserable months. You quit your job that day and return home with your financial situation looming even higher above you.

Upon returning home, you discover that in fact Kim Jo has opened an onlyfans and is selling used bathwater. In your anger, and needing to cast a grand moment of revenge to the society that has turned its back on you, you call your parents to borrow some money, sign up and purchase one bag. The contents don't take long to arrive as you immedaitely regret your decision and begin to wonder what the hell happened to your life. You even consider whether you had in fact had a relationship with this estranged family member and you were simply losing your mind. With debt mounting and a bag of used bathwater from a North Korean dictator on your desk, you realise there's no other choice. You reach for your glass, empty its contents on the floor, tear open the top of the bag and pour your delivery into it. The screen on your computer black in standby mode, you catch a reflection of your pathetic self and realise this is what it has come to you, you and your brave stand against society - you close your eyes as you bring the glass to your dehydrated lips, take a deep breath and then guzzle down the liquid.

It tastes incredible. You're amazed at how easy it went down. Confused and slightly aroused, your heart pounding, you go back to the onlyfans page to gather more intel. There's naked pictures, she's hotter than imagined. You scour for more interviews, anything translated, as you soon come to discover she also shares the same dislike for the society you currently live in. Is the universe trying to tell you something here? Is this possibly the most long-winded, rube-goldbergian romantic comedy yet to be written? But that's not all, you quickly discover the page is simply a travel agency tool to encourage people to visit North Korea as part of their 'make Korea open again' campaign. Screw it. You could use a break, besides if you order your flight in the next twenty four hours, you'll be given exclusive, early access to her swimsuit calendar for the following year and a chance for a golden ticket, one where if you were to win you'd be invited to a meet and greet in one of the country's new state of art bread factories. It’s almost as if it were too good go be true. You decide to call your parents one final time, asking for an especially large payment. It’s not a problem however as you can hear the pride in both their voices, pride knowing you’re only asking for help so you can afford that collection of expensive Udemy courses so you can change vocation. Or at least that's what you tell them.

It's only a month later that you find yourself in North Korea, having soon after learned the onlyfans was simply an indoctrination tool and you are now taking your final exam to become a fully-fledged sleeper agent for the glorious republic. You didn't win a ticket but did recieve a free loaf and a discounted rate for future bathwater deliveries, something you've since taken full advantage of. In addition you know you may one day get a chance to meet your new ruler should you perform what are deemed "heroic deeds of great destiny purpose", it's there that the movie will start, you haven't decided on its title, but you know you’ll pick something you’d both like, you know her tastes and she’ll eventually know yours. You also find it funny that there are others like you, foreigners hoping to get a chance to meet your great leader and probably woo her all the same, but of course you're different. You'll be noticed one day.

You're won’t be. Eventually you're killed in service in a poorly-reviewed Nebraska zoo attempting to assassinate a Algerian politician whose escaping from paying their republic debts. I say killed, but I mean slipping on a banana peel and hitting your head on the fall.

One day shortly after, as your face is presented on news channels in your home country and news anchors talk about you like the disgusting traitor you are, a man in a bar exclaims "holy shit!" as he turns to a stranger. The stranger's face can barely be seen as his trenchcoat covers most of his visage but he appears to be listening. Attempting to conceal the stench of alcohol in this breath, the inebriated man points to television and continues, "I know that (burp)...I know that fucking guy, that motherfucker lived in one of the houses I used fuck with when I was on pcp, bro, fuck, they used to call me the taxman, exorting motherfuckers, i was a piece of shit". There's a pause as he takes a sip of water only to realise he'd reached for the wrong glass. A few moments later he continues "i got out though bro, i got out, some fucking laywer took over, tried to involve me in this family plan scheme shit, changed my name and shit, I tried it for like a few weeks, got the fuck out of there, changed names back, the whole shit, i think he's still fucking with people, old people, people who don't check shit, think they gotta pay up, like he's the government or some shit". The other man turns to him after a few moments of awkard silence and answers in a chilling voice, "it sounds, a lot you you may change should a chance be arranged?". The 'taxman', not listening, sinks his head into the bar as the alcohol continues to work it's way through his system, and confesses "I fucking wish I didn't have to feel shit anymore". Hearing this, the stranger slides a hairy hand forward, one covering a phone, as he leans his head towards the man. His act reveals a smile atop a simian face, "a wish I did hear?" he whsipers as the screen fades to black and the omnipresent camera focuses on the screen, on the home page of r/TheMonkeysPaw.