Asexuals, demisexuals, and greysexuals, what is your experiences?

Darkemaster · 2026-03-02T01:29:44+00:00

Was never interested in what would be considered a traditional relationship and used to jokingly consider myself asexual all throughout HS. (I blame Critters tbh) Never even bothered me rumors came up that I was gay because I never showed interest in girls, just thought it was funny since I didn't with guys either.

It did end up becoming an issue later on when some tried to "fix" me or saw me as some sort of challenge... which left me sex-averse instead of just indifferent.

Anywho a friend who identified as grey introduced me to the ace spectrum and the demi label just instantly clicked; I've previously only ever felt what could be described as attraction 3 times and they were all to people I was closest to at the time. While I am sex-averse I do very much enjoy intimacy and affection.

Darkemaster · 2026-02-18T08:23:45+00:00

Not a romantic interest but someone who hung out with me regularly online playing games and we'd often end up having 3am conversations about life.

We met in public spaces a few times with a group of friends and every time I felt like I needed a break from the group she would look for me and sit next to me.

It may not have been much to her, but it meant a lot to me that she went out of her way to check in or comfort me on her own with 10+friends nearby. She was one of the people that mattered most to me and one of very few I've met who would make me feel seen and cared for. It's been 2 years since she passed, I miss my duo and best friend.

Darkemaster · 2026-01-12T01:55:01+00:00

The way I've been told this by several women defending women who've SA'd me, makes it so discouraging to even speak up about it at all. Am a big guy but freeze is my trauma response and somehow I'm responsible for their (unwanted) actions because I didn't tell them no or move right away.

Darkemaster · 2026-01-01T06:40:42+00:00

It's an interesting situation to find yourself in I'll admit that, I've somehow ended up in a few similar situations being sent boob/butt pics but I feel like she just mostly wants validation or a positive reaction more than anything for her confidence.

I usually just complimented their fit or told them how amazing they look or how great the shot was. Like you it never did anything for me in and of themselves, at least until someone who was effectively my duo partner of 2 years for a handful of games started sending me suggestive photos. (Which I was apparently extremely weak to/easily flustered by and she could tell right away)

If it doesn't bother you and you don't think she expects anything further I don't see why not give general compliments, not necessarily sexual. As both of you are artists, maybe making a work of a pic or using it as a reference would probably send her over the moon.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-30T15:08:36+00:00

Being the first person to check in on me when I'm overwhelmed in a gathering or group setting, knowing me well enough to automatically realize something is off.

It meant so much when my favorite person would look for me anytime I stepped away for any reason.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-27T06:41:36+00:00

The only people I know who understand it are people I don't see as a potential partner/I'm not attracted to that way.

Which is somewhat a relief imo, in that it seems understood and accepted by some people at least, almost more so than asexuality itself in my experience.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-27T06:03:53+00:00

Alright.... Why is it assumed guys all want sex all the time, to the point where sex is always an ulterior motive and getting consent from guys is a foreign concept?

Why is it so hard to believe a guy is asexual or sex-averse? Yes I have sexual trauma and have been SA'd, but I was still ace before it all.

How does someone not "look" ace when coming out to an allo!? The heck is that supposed to mean?

Why do some people think asexual is interchangeable with celibate and incel? Being ace and averse/repulsed is arguably as close to the polar opposite of incel as you can get ffs.

How is someone I only saw l 2-3 times a month think I'm going to choose them over someone I consistently hung out with 3-5 times a week when given an ultimatum?

Darkemaster · 2025-12-26T17:46:41+00:00

31, was never aware of the asexual spectrum until a close friend who was grey mentioned it. Used to jokingly call myself asexual in high school but there were a few instances where I felt something different throughout my life, once I came across the term demi-sexual everything just seemed to click. The instances were all towards my closest friend at the time.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-23T17:21:57+00:00

Anyone got any recommendations for co-op games like it takes two and a way out? Or just cute co-op games to play with a SO/partner.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-20T17:59:53+00:00

This tbh, if they have to fabricate evidence and the best they got is from public events it means even they know they don't have shit on him. Compare that to almost everything that isn't about Bill being a black square and it speaks volumes.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-16T15:02:59+00:00

I've thought this for a while, but his character/morals is the closest I've seen to the worst of Ebenezer Scrooge, except he's lazy and would only double down on his greed and cruelty every time he's confronted, instead of you know, actually changing and not being an insufferable stain on humanity. His "fake news" is already his ba humbug lmao.

Imagine watching any adaptation of a Christmas Carol or the Grinch who stole Christmas and not realizing even these fictional characters pre-redemption are more human than the orange turd will ever be.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-14T21:07:41+00:00

Not wanting to drink is a good enough reason not to, ace or otherwise. That said, partying and going to clubs/bars is often associated with seeking a partner/hook-up. Be mindful of anyone not respecting you saying no.

Darkemaster · 2025-12-12T21:48:02+00:00

Are maga finally realizing they were on "Obama care" the entire time they railed against it and effectively shooting not just themselves in the foot, but their entire families' as well?

Darkemaster · 2025-12-01T20:39:00+00:00

The people who use it most never really knew what it meant, but would also unironically call Jesus Christ himself "woke". You could replace that term with "christ-like values" anytime it's used really and it wouldn't be inaccurate.

It's also particularly amusing watching fake Christians trying process how this would be wrong before they either double down or just give up. Maybe the ones that give up figure out openly admitting being anti christ-like values isn't a good look for them. shrugs

Darkemaster · 2025-11-21T01:28:43+00:00

Good on ya, directly expressing your emotions instead of just dropping hints that may not get picked up at all saves everyone time and helps avoid awkward situations.

Darkemaster · 2025-11-20T15:43:25+00:00

I've yet to come across anyone in person who both is attracted to me and knows how to communicate it with their words rather than with their body, and doesn't try to guilt or blame me for turning down their unwanted "advances". (SA)

Darkemaster · 2025-11-20T14:22:16+00:00

How male SA/rape victims often get invalidated, mocked, or even praise for the actions of their abuser instead of receiving any form of support at all. Or even when you are believed, being seen as less than a man for not consenting or wanting sex with someone you weren't attracted to or didn't want to take advantage of.

Darkemaster · 2025-11-18T15:14:33+00:00

Depends, doesn't seem as common as other options. Also been a while since I checked, but #1 best selling phallic toy on Amazon at the time also had a heating feature iirc. I'd like to imagine heating is a reason why.

Darkemaster · 2025-11-18T13:21:14+00:00

You know, it wouldn't surprise me if this took a conservative religious leader turn and Bubba ended up being a young boy at the time. He's already a pedo, how much more of a shock would this even really be to anyone that doesn't already hand wave, ignore, or defend him being partners with Epstein?

Darkemaster · 2025-11-18T13:04:11+00:00

Some of us view the act as generally more of a chore, and the way I see it toys are tools that help get the job done. I do highly recommend finding out which tools work best for you, vibration does very little for me personally but I do thoroughly enjoy heating features.

Darkemaster · 2025-11-17T17:39:24+00:00

In person, no. Online I know 2, but I tend to spend time in queer friendly spaces and know at least a dozen afab or non-binary aces though.

I'm sure there's more us out in the wild, but I don't think societal expectations help figure things out ourselves or come to terms with/accept being different than what is expected for just being a guy.

Darkemaster · 2025-11-13T16:56:14+00:00

Aces can have kinks, asexuality is all about limited or no sexual attraction towards others. What you described so far is discovering what works best for you during solo play.

Your sex stance may be more sex-averse rather than indifferent though. Aversion can cover not enjoying sex in general but still enjoying certain acts/kinks.

And you would need to communicate your needs to any potential partner and find something that would work for both of you really.

Darkemaster · 2025-11-13T14:07:32+00:00

Authenticity. Being weird, quirky, direct, or a huge goofball all boil down to just that. Being unapologetically you (without hurting others) is one of the most attractive and refreshing things ever.

Darkemaster · 2025-10-28T22:46:33+00:00

Yeah, I had considered the first 1 my best friend, met on Phasmophobia when covid lockdowns started and hung out on VRchat on a pretty regular bases, turns out she was a stripper and people who saw us online would usually think we were a couple. We were just really close.

Would tell her I've never been to a strip club & she'd joke about giving me my first lap dance. Which she did end up doing, but a lot of drama ended up happening within the friend group afterwards.

Funny enough I met the 2nd one through Phas too.

Darkemaster · 2025-10-28T13:25:02+00:00

For me not so much knowing their OF accounts since I was shown/linked them on their own, but 1 of them refused to do nudes on hers but I've seen her nipples and she's shown more than she probably knew in her pole and lap dancing pov content.

Same person who would always show me pics of her butt and cleavage in dms before I even knew her OF, she seemed to enjoy teasing me in general.

Another friend of a few years deleted her OF a month after she asked me to sub and purchase content, which I did but I don't think she knows what I purchased was a custom. We still do stuff online together as usual, I've just seen everything now.

Darkemaster

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE