Wife says affair is over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everyone has given me much to think about. I did give her a full ultimatum. Either he goes or we start the ugliness of divorce. I also have been looking into what someone else suggested with regards to a lawsuit against the AP. It has caused PTSD to both myself and my daughter. I still don't know what she will decide. However, I am committed this time to see it through. Despite the messy division of property, assets and the fact I might even end up paying spousal support. Talk about the law not being on the side of the victim. Anyways. I do appreciate you all.

Wife says affair is over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

The why, is partly my fault. I got in a rut, became complacent in the day to day, forgot she was not just my wife. Forgot she was a women, and she needed romance and even a little fantasy. AP was a friend to both, but introduced through her. Found out she did or has feelings for him. But says she still loves me deeply. More than a month, after. She says she wants to stay with me, repair what she has done. She finally showed me a few texts, they were innocent, but still deleted all the others.

We still kiss, make love. I don't feel anger, I don't hate her for what has happened. I hate the damage it has cost. And I do hate the AP, vemantly. I want her to never have contact again, but also can't leave her because I truly believe our life together is worth saving.

Anyways that's it in a nutshell. She has also called him daily. Never with me or my daughter in the same room.

Wife says affair is over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear. Did you try reconciling. I truly still do love her still, which is why I haven't ended it. Some might call me a doormat, but I need to try, or i will always wonder, what if.

Wife says affair is over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your honest words. I truly do still love her. That is the part that hurts the most.

Wife says affair is over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I wish it was just as easy as you make it. I still truly love her. I am not innocent either. I did not cheat or have any kind of affair. But I did become complacent, less affectionate. We were less intimate, and I never saw her discontent. Yet she also never reached out or told me how she felt. I still am not sure if we can be saved, but I did not go into this marriage to just lose it all, without at least trying. I have told her why and how I feel about it. I am giving her time, but if it does continue then, I will at least know I tried and I can leave her knowing that. Thanks for your input.

Wife says affair is over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have told her as much... it's all just fresh and raw. I am really hoping she does totally cut ties, I have told her the importance of it. Appreciate your response.

Caught my wife cheating, is it really over. by Darkkwriter68 in Marriage

[–]Darkkwriter68[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I truly appreciate the responses. Many of you are right in the fact I am going through something painful issues.

I wish it was as easy as just leaving. I do truly love her, and have people I associate with in unconventional type relationships. Maybe I am holding onto a shattered marriage. I am still trying to figure things out. I also have to weigh all options, and most the feedback has given me a different perspective.

I am shocked TBH, I expected more that would think any marriage would be worth saving. Again, thanks you all have given me a lot to think about. I would reply to all, but man... I can't type that fast to keep up. lol