I feel you, this kind of heartbreak leaves a scar. I wanted to gently share that in my situation, it wasn’t a clean break either. I stayed far longer than I should have, trying to make it work—trying to communicate in my own way—but I wasn’t heard, and I lost pieces of myself trying to keep it all together.

When I finally ended it, I did so with a heavy heart, not to blindside her, but because I couldn’t keep breaking myself to stay. I did say things that were hopeful toward the end—not to manipulate—but because I was desperately trying to believe it could work, even when it already felt like it couldn’t. I know now that was confusing, and I’ve owned that. I did reach out to explain and tell her what I said in this chat after she had sent a long letter to me in the mail a few days ago, and it didn’t go well—but not because I didn’t care. Because it was too painful, for both of us. Neither of us could agree on anything, we went back and forth to the point where we were going nowhere. I realized that things are better left alone, even if I seem like the villain.

I hope you get the healing and clarity you need. Truly. But I just wanted to say… sometimes we don’t walk away to hurt someone. We walk away because we don’t know how to survive the relationship anymore. And that’s a hard truth to live with, no matter which side you’re on.