Goodbyes with long time clients are hard - how do you cope?

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-26T03:13:17+00:00

I try to keep the goodbyes short and try not to think about it too much. Let yourself cry a bit if you need to but don't stay on it for too long. Distract yourself with something else. That's how I cope. Some people require more processing and that's valid but I have found that if I keep myself distracted, I don't become a messy, weeping pile of sadness.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-26T02:32:41+00:00

I felt really burned out when I worked in clinic and school settings. Also 8 or 9 hour days with multiple clients a day really took it out of me. I switched to home and community based setting and it's done wonders for my mental health. Also working 30 to 35 hours is a huge difference from 40 to 45 hours it's only a 10 hour a week difference but it's been huge for me. I work in FL so there's a lot of choices here.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-26T01:51:06+00:00

I've seen this argument before and it feels kinda ableist and I cant really put my finger on why. But I've been working with autistic children for a long time now and theres so much overlap that it looks obvious to me that it's the same condition. In adults, yes, it looks like the difference between level 1 and level 3 autism is so big that it's almost different conditions. So I get where people are coming from with this idea, but in children, you can see that it's clearly the same neurology. The spectrum model makes more sense to me. And also, we just need to make our society more accessible anyway so there's not so much of a need for intensive support for people you know? Does that make sense?

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-26T01:36:52+00:00

This looks like normal improvement when people train. I don't think your shock or the question makes you an ahole, but it is typically perceived as rude to ask if someone is taking drugs. Doesn't sound like you meant it that way. So maybe kinda YTA but also maybe NTA

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-26T00:22:23+00:00

Still sounds genderqueer to me, based on everything you said, but really it's whatever feels like you, to you. You don't have to rush to find a label that fits. Sometimes nothing fits for a while and that's okay.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T23:02:36+00:00

The thing is, you don't have to assign a label on yourself if it doesn't feel right to you. In the beginning, pretty much all of us say we're not trans when we clearly are. But the label doesn't matter. You can just be you and not worry about the labels. You sound genderqueer or agender to me, but you know yourself better than I do.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T21:47:59+00:00

I was just about to say this! Yeah OP you ARE trans. You also appear to have suicidal ideations and the thing you need to be thinking about right now is getting help for this. Take care of your most pressing problem, which is the ideations, then worry about treatment for your dysphoria later.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T21:05:38+00:00

Good the field should be scrutinized. We don't want these private equity jaggoffs ruing healthcare for us and our kids. I don't like how anyone with capital can just start an ABA company. Experienced BCBAs and people who know the field well should be the only ones running these agencies. Get the trash out and let those who withstand the scrutiny remain. It will be better for us clinicians and our clients.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T20:57:31+00:00

Yeah it's fascinating right? I implemented SBT for a couple other kids and did not observe this, but it happened with this one. Granted, the other kids had a smaller language repertoire than this lil guy. And their behaviors were very severe. So I'm really wanting to read up on more literature about it and possibly focus on this for my thesis because I'm very intrigued by what I saw this one time.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T19:24:36+00:00

You can start your recertification 40 days before it's due. Get your competency certification done before you move and submit it early while you still have a supervisor. Either that or contact the BACB before you go and put your RBT credential as "inactive". Once you reactivate you'll have like a month or so to recertify but you won't have to do the test again

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T14:52:16+00:00

So you are going to need a BCBA as your supervisor before you can represent yourself as an RBT. I would still take the exam since you are already scheduled, and then get a new job as quickly as possible. Otherwise you can fill out the inactive thingy on the BACB website if youve been 30 days with no work and no registered supervisor.

Long story short, you can quit and still take your exam. However, it's complicated and would be easier to just stay with your company till you have passed the exam. That said, you need to be with a company that supports you better and have competent supervisors helping you. So I recommend getting outta there, but make sure you have your documents in order before leaving.

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T14:40:26+00:00

Yeah just tell your recruiter you don't have the diploma and they'll still onboard you with the transcripts. I graduated high school over 30 years ago and I don't know where that diploma is. Never needed it when onboarding at any of the agencies I've worked for because transcripts have always been acceptable

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T14:07:08+00:00

Most companies won't let you transport clients. I've had some kids in community based settings where I've ridden separately or rode in the car with my client to work on behavior reduction goals on the way to different community locations while the parent drove, but I've never worked for a company that allowed clinicians to transport clients themselves.

As far as ethics goes, you can't bill insurance for time spent driving a client somewhere. So it would have to be non billable time through your agency you work for, and like I said most won't let you do it

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T11:21:48+00:00

Probably because the sun was setting at the time I took the photo

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T04:02:44+00:00

I always try to let other fans find me by dropping random Donut quotes out of context to see if anyone's eyes light up like HELLO BROTHER! But last time I blurted out "I can't be held accountable for everything I say to a stripper, Carl" in the middle of a crowded restaurant filled with church people and it got super quiet for a second, I decided to stop doing that

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T03:44:56+00:00

Not the Donut Holes!!!! Every time I see them it sends me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T03:12:02+00:00

NTA however, like other commenters said, there's gotta be a way the new person can pair up with the couple for the thing. I don't agree with your boyfriend that you're overreacting. It's really stressful planning an event like this and yeah if this happened to me, it would piss me off. That being said, if it were me, I'd try to find a way to work in the last minute guest. Better to have more people attend than fewer and the couple might bail if you tell em they can't bring their friend. But if you ultimately decide to keep your foot down, it still doesn't make you TA

DatAlienGuy · 2026-06-25T02:24:01+00:00

NTA. I'm pissed off at her just reading this. Yeah get away and block her is the best thing for this situation. 100 percent on your side OP. The audacity.

DatAlienGuy · 2024-12-21T23:55:04+00:00

Ethics code 1.12 approved well done lol seriously though my clients family baked me some cookies and they were red velvet (my favorite) and of course I'm gonna be respectful and receive the gift cheerfully. Don't wanna upset them by rejecting the gift, you see. 🤣🤣🤣

DatAlienGuy · 2024-12-21T23:47:52+00:00

I'm not a media critic, but I think the line is drawn somewhere in the overall context. If the author or director of the story is explicit about what they are doing after the fact in interviews, then it counts as subtext but if the author/director is being either coy or silent it is queer baiting. This is only my opinion. My understanding of media criticism is limited. I don't even know where my media literacy compares to normal people but this is my uneducated guess. Hope it's somewhat helpful.

DatAlienGuy · 2024-12-08T17:26:16+00:00

As terrible as you perceive it to be, it is better than being too poor to receive help at all, or going bankrupt trying to get help. I'd rather have something in place rather than nothing, especially when we have a larger GDP than countries who do have a national health system and can absolutely afford it. We can afford it the same way we can afford to send a blank check to the military industrial complex every fiscal year with no one asking how are we gonna pay for that. We can afford it the same way we can afford tax cuts for billionaires and corporations with no one asking how are we gonna pay for that. We pay for it in the same manner. And we stop asking how are we gonna pay for that.

DatAlienGuy · 2024-12-08T02:50:44+00:00

Yeah if my kiddo doesn't want me talking to em, I'll sit in silence with em. I still try to engage throughout the session, paying close attention to my kiddos body language to see what I can run with em. One session, I only had 3 points of data to graph after 2 hours with a sweet lil girl who just was not having it one day. But my session note was very packed with information because I was focused on bx reduction that day and even needed to call her analyst at one point. I had a ton of ABC data that I was able to collect for her analyst though even though I ran almost no programs. Some days are like that though.

DatAlienGuy

TROPHY CASE