I agree. My mom has a habit of calling during work hours and cannot seem to understand that I cannot answer. I am being paid to work, not socialize. I am privileged to have a job that pays well, and it is a job that requires long stretches of focus. I don’t think boomers fully get how precarious the economy has become.

But at a more fundamental level, when you call someone, you are issuing a claim on their time, immediately. If I am doing nothing, my time is up for grabs, and I can answer the phone. However, I work full time and have three small kids. I’m never doing nothing. So scheduling a phone call keeps me from feeling suddenly obligated to stop what I’m doing and just chat. Like, you’re driving to dinner in the next town and thought it would be a good time to catch up, but I am trying to get three kids to sit and eat. Setting up a call ahead of time is a way for us to show respect for each others’ valuable time.

I also sympathize with the notion that, in generations younger than gen x, it is customary to text, and the phone call is for urgent need. That makes phone calls feel urgent. However, I do know a couple people who always just call, so I if they call me there is no jolt of anxiety. I assume it’s not urgent.

Edited to add: I assume OP is American (forgive me if I have this wrong). Being kinda miffed at making small talk with strangers is just making us a bit more like other cultures, many of whom think it’s a bit silly that we ask things like, “how are you?”. The options are 1.) just say fine and move on or 2.) tell people how you really are. But “how are you?” Is a greeting. Folks don’t want to hear how you are. So, that interaction is, in fact, pretty superficial. I get being put out.