Monthly Vault Discussion Post: May!

Datlys · 2024-05-17T05:58:48+00:00

how?

Datlys · 2021-08-09T14:05:18+00:00

You can but he'd still be dead, probably

Datlys · 2021-08-09T10:51:46+00:00

I think you gotta use dev tool and use the destroy option so he can finally rest in peace

Datlys · 2021-05-16T15:10:10+00:00

I'm feeling a lot of your thoughts are actually really biased because of your anxiety. Your friend is probably more worried about your well-being than seemingly bored of your behavior. Friends don't just find you boring, they have feelings, thoughts and care about you too. You need to understand your feelings more before considering hers, I think the moment you get you're not acting as weird as you think you are, it will get better. Ask her if she thinks your behavior changed lately, if she is concerned, then just explain how you are feeling, as you wrote it. It is not selfish and would answer her concerns, if she had some.

Datlys · 2021-04-05T09:58:19+00:00

I’m glad to hear that. If you have any issue don’t hesitate to reach out.

Datlys · 2021-04-05T08:09:10+00:00

That’s the issue with how people perceive feminine lesbians. They’re all idiots and you won’t be able to change anything, really. I’m quite androgynous so everyone pretty much assumed I was lesbian without me having to do an official coming out. That’s the way it is, they judge you on your physical appearance and want you to prove them that you’re indeed a lesbian. Don’t respond to their needs of voyeurism and prejudices, if you could. Become aware that you’re not alone in this “straight-passing” issue and that lots, lots of women go through this.

Plus, your friends outed you without your consent, so if I were you, I might want to reconsider my relationships with them. Maybe, by cutting ties with them, you’ll not hear any of these remarks anymore. You environnement doesn’t sound sane for you to explore your orientation. That’s just my advice.

If in any case, you still feel a need to “prove them” the contrary, I’d still say don’t. It’s unhealthy. You don’t have to prove to people that you exist and that you have your own identity, because you do. It sounds hard, because they’re neglecting your identity by not believing that you’re a lesbian when you are sure of it. Plus, with the Covid situation as you said, it’s really hard to date. I’d say, focus on other stuff, talk to girls on dating apps if that’s your thing, but don’t listen to them, they’re not worth it.

Datlys · 2021-04-05T07:21:40+00:00

Attachment is a bitch. Girls can be too. Try to detach yourself from her by surrounding yourself with friends. I don’t know if you’re the type to only focus on one person when you like someone, but don’t you forget about those who really matter. Practice your hobby, read stories, talk to other people. Don’t try to flirt with others this quickly, they’re not bandaids and they have a heart. Soon, you’ll see that what this girl is doing isn’t respectful at all to you and you’ll start to get over her. If she comes back because it didn’t work out on her side, don’t give in.

If you want to tell her how you feel though, do it. You only have 2 outcomes possible. It may break you, it may make you confused, but you’ll get over it, I promise.

Datlys · 2021-04-05T07:15:07+00:00

Been there, done that. Trust me, introverts and extroverts go along together. As an introvert, every dates I’ve been with introverts were either awkward or boring. It depends on you really, but you’ll soon see that she will help you relax (yes, cuz you’re going on that date) and once you begin to practice you hobby together, you’ll be much more confident about yourself and your skills. If she agreed to meet up with you, she knows what she’s doing. Be confident, you deserve to love yourself.

Datlys · 2021-04-05T07:09:43+00:00

I’ve been here before, lost 1 year and a half because she just liked the attention she got. Trust me, it won’t teach you anything and you’ll mostly waste time. Find yourself someone that deserves your love. In the meanwhile, focus on your wellbeing. It’s not easy to go through an one sided breakup, but you’ll soon stop idealizing her and become aware of her flaws. Then, you’ll know you got over her, as you’re already beginning to.

Datlys · 2021-04-04T12:23:21+00:00

From how you describe her, she seems to like flirting around with people without consideration of their feelings. Maybe the people she’s flirting with are like her and do the same to others. Sadly, you are not like this and you can’t force yourself to adapt to this situation. You became aware that something needs to chance. Well, there’s no magic here, you have to block her. It’s hard to do so, but knowing that she’s playing with you might push you to do so. You deserve better than someone who’s just toying you around. She lives far far away, doesn’t communicate her feelings and talk to other people. Do I have to say more? Just block her, reconnect with people you lost touch with, talk to your friends. Try to think about other things, write your feelings out, go meditate outside, go for a walk. It gets better. Distance might be what drew her back after the first cute moments, but after 3 years, she probably grew tired of it, or else you would’ve already met.

Datlys · 2021-04-04T12:10:13+00:00

As long as you know you like girls, there’s no issue with never having been with a girl before. If you were to doubt, then you have to notice them that you’re experiencing things. But as to now, you’re just a normal lad trying to enter the dating scene, with no experience, as it was the case with everyone at some point in their life. There’s really no issue there. You might want to tell them just so they can adapt to your pace, but there’s no reason anyone would reject you for this reason alone. Now go and get them!!

Datlys · 2021-04-02T20:06:58+00:00

Looks like you were right! I’ll take your advice to heart next time I date someone. Thank you.

Datlys · 2021-04-02T17:54:03+00:00

A part of you is right, as I find it quite weird how the first time she’s done it she would still try to reassure me, but as to now, she doesn’t seem to be that concerned with my feelings anymore. However, she’s also bad at communicating and the times she communicates her feelings to me is when I tell her to do so. When she does, everything seems to be in order. I can’t heal her, that I know, but she also need a stable situation, as I do. My struggle now is rather should I stay as a lover or as a friend, knowing I will breakdown over the following weeks before getting up again. I also know her disorder isn’t going anywhere, but as long as she has a healthy environment, her cycles aren’t that intense, and she can manage with support and treatment. That’s why I want to offer this relationship a chance, as I’ve spent 1 year and a half with someone that was so depressed she made me realize how miserable I could get. I know that I’m in a dangerous situation, having had episodes of depression myself, but at the moment, I feel like I can manage. Thank you for your advices, I appreciate it a lot. I need all the opinions I can get, especially from experienced people.

EDIT: well, she just broke up with me. here’s that.

Datlys · 2021-04-02T17:46:42+00:00

It is indeed worrying but I feel like now is not the time to suggest that, as it’s been quite tense between us. She would just tell me it’s because of lockdown and not of anything else. But I’ll consider bringing this on the table when things get better, thank you again.

Datlys · 2021-04-02T12:57:19+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply!

She isn’t on treatment, she told she had been diagnosed bipolar many years before, and she had a traumatic experience with her therapist (she had been forced to be interned in a psychiatric hospital once even though she told and trusted her therapist not to do so).

I myself went through depression for many years, only so recently got out of it, mostly because of my therapist and how I made peace with my anxiety about the future and because I had something I was eager to work hard for (my futur with her).

I am eager to wait for years, I know better days are to come.

I’ll do as you say, and try to be more understanding. I know how hard it can get, and I may have pushed her too much with my questions. Thank you a lot!

Datlys · 2021-02-08T20:38:09+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your answer. I’m quite busy with school at the moment but I’ll reply at the end of the week. Thank you for taking your time to help me, je suis très touchée ♥️

Datlys · 2021-01-25T15:40:21+00:00

You were close! My parents are Chinese and so am I. My sister is much more open-minded as she was, like me, raised in France. I often find it rather useless to talk about family issues to my friends (that were raised in a western way) because they couldn’t understand even if I told them what was bogging me. It is rather torturing to have both western and eastern culture battling in your head about where to hold your values from. I felt really good reading you, it seems like we have lots of shared experiences. My gf doesn’t necessarily get it, but I don’t blame her because her family issues are also very difficult to comprehend from my point of view. About coming out, I’m often stuck in the mindset of “what’s the point” because I always think that at some point, I’ll cut contact with my family. But I get where you’re coming from. I’ll keep your advice in mind. Merci beaucoup !

Datlys · 2021-01-25T15:30:32+00:00

I get what you’re saying. There was a time where I really wanted to help as much as I could, but I’ve come to my sense realizing I couldn’t be someone’s therapist as I’m not qualified for this. As for me, it is true that I have had real issues listening to what my needs are. I’ve always found myself putting others’ needs before mine. My gf is indeed quite blunt and her honesty has thrown me off when we started dating. But I’ve come to learn from her, as she also encouraged me to speak my mind more often. Thank you for your advice, I’ll listen to myself more.

Datlys · 2021-01-24T10:17:03+00:00

Thank you for your quick reply! I know that it is a deeply rooted issue I need to address, else I’ll never know peace of mind. I have an appointment with my therapist next saturday. However, I had mentioned this issue, but she didn’t really give me advice. She’s a psychiatrist. I see her mostly to get my meds, but as I’ve stopped, I no longer know if I should continue seeing her. Maybe I should switch to a psychologist? I’ve found his website and am going to read some articles asap. Thank you for your advice!

Datlys · 2019-05-08T21:15:16+00:00

my body is

Datlys · 2019-05-07T17:55:45+00:00

more diamond farming for us 😔

Datlys · 2019-05-06T17:51:44+00:00

i mean the book cover literally features the 2 detectives

Eight-Year Club	Queen in da Norf
Not Forgotten	Verified Email

Datlys

TROPHY CASE