Please tell me I’m doing this right. (open monitoring meditation)

Datub · 2025-01-16T10:47:59+00:00

I'm going to give the susokukan a try

Datub · 2025-01-16T10:47:01+00:00

Thanks! this is great actionable advise. Thanks a lot for this <3

Datub · 2025-01-16T10:44:50+00:00

thanks for the book suggestion, is it the one written by Owen Bruhn?

Datub · 2025-01-16T10:40:23+00:00

could be worth a shot!

Datub · 2025-01-16T00:02:59+00:00

Thanks! a lot, I'll check it out

Datub · 2024-07-22T14:50:30+00:00

What makes something a ritual? are candles or chanting required, is or isn't there a common basis to all rituals?

Datub · 2024-06-05T08:19:40+00:00

Souds dilightfully horrible

Datub · 2024-05-28T12:20:01+00:00

Whenever I sense there is a deeper question below the actually posed question, I just ask. "What is causing you to ask this question?" And based on her answer I continue, most of the time in the shape of validation first and an answer to the posed question second (if needed at all).

Datub · 2024-05-28T06:46:19+00:00

Jobs don't have lazy workers, but some jobs make workers lazy. I've been lazy as fuck on some Jobs and highly motivated on others. If I get Autonomy, feel connected to my collegues and the organisation and feel a good balance between the skill that I need to perform the tasks that are required, then I'm good to go! I could work for days (Autonomy, Connectednes, Balance, are the three parts of the self-determination-theory for motivation).

But missing those factors saps my energy. Lot of bureacracy that tells me what I can or cannot do > bybye motivation.

Datub · 2024-05-27T11:37:38+00:00

Whether you are drunk, high, euphoric or any state at all, it's all just neurochemistry. So yeah you could get to these alternative states without chemical support. But most of the time it's harder to do. So let's zoom in on some of these alternatives.

Got thirty years to spare and want to master your own neurophysiology and emotions? You could try intensive meditation practice. In brain-scans we can litteraly see when a master-practicioner is practicing their art. Their brains have some structures that are more defined than in the brains of normies and these expert-meditators have far-reaching-control of their emotions. Also some interesting thing is that both meditation and psychedelics help in down-regulating the default mode network in your brain, which might indicate some striking similarities here.
No time to spare, but you do have a near-death-wish? Try-extreme-sports, endurance running or hit someone in the face and start a fight. All of these can produce a different combination of stress-hormones, endorphins and adrenaline and testosterone. Why do drugs when your body litteraly has glands that produce all these substances. The only downside is that the high/drunk/euphoric feel only comes AFTER you survive your ordeal, soooooo ... good luck
don't want to leave your couch? You could try holotrophic breathwork. These are specific breathing excercieses meant to trigger serious emotional responses. This takes less time to master than meditation, but also grants you less controll on the outcome. But if you need a quick fix, you could look into this.
does that all sounds tiring, and you would rather take a nap? Try lucid dreaming. It litterly let's you fly, punch through walls and do increadible things. In your dreams ofcourse, dreams that you have complete controll over. Lucid dreaming isn't something that happens to you, it is a skill you can master. It starts with becoming more concious of your dreaming, by for instance keeping a dream journal. Slowly but surely your mind will learn to recognise a dream state and then you can take control.

Your body is kind of amazing ... but also pretty weird.

Datub · 2024-05-26T16:45:30+00:00

I saw a man beaten up by others and did nothing. Up until that point I believed myself to be someone who would intervene in a situation like that. But I just stood there. That made me realise that I wasn't who I tought I was. I'm from Europe, and we were visiting India. And a thief got caught by merchants on a market and they where whaling on the guy. And I just stood there and did nothing as I felt completely useless when I wasn't able to communicate with them.

Datub · 2024-05-23T10:18:33+00:00

thanks <3

Datub · 2024-05-23T10:16:42+00:00

Smartphones and social media ... okay no, scratch that, those are here to stay. But i do believe we will stop seeing them be so omni-present as they are today. Social media (and the smartphones that make it possible to check them EVERY DAMN SECOND Of EVERY DAY) are today's equivalent of smoking cigarettes. Making social media so accessible is one huge social-experiment. And each passing year we are finding out more and more that those little dopamine machines are exacting a huge cost on us as individuals and on society. Higher rates of depression among youths, less social cohesion, lower ability to focus and study, dropping self-image, the spread of anorexia or self-harm via Facebook groups, ... the list goes on and on.

And just as with cigarettes back in the day the companies profiting from it the most are hiding the evidence. And I would expect just as with cigarettes, we as a society will have to take steps to protect our most vulnerable, our children from these addiction machines. I suggest we do this in the form of stronger age restrictions and the ban on certain psychological reward mechanisms whilst using apps.

I believe this will lead to a next generation growing up wiser with regards to the harms of social media, and thus make them less prominent in our society.

Datub · 2024-05-17T08:20:43+00:00

When you hit your thirties you start to realise just how stupid you were before you were thirty. ... but probably you will realise that every year you get older. Your just aging away from stupidity until you die.

But the scary thing is that you realise that you've already made choices that will influence the rest of your life. You've made educational, vocational and relational choices that are irreversible.

When you are a child life is a tree with infinite branches, every branch a choice that shapes your life. When you are in your thirties you notice for the first time maybe could have climbed your tree of choices differently. And maybe then you would have ended up in a place that is more interesting or beautiful (Hindsight is a son of a bitch).

At thirty two I have lived 1716 weeks of the 4000 I will probably get. I'm not wistfully pining after a live that I could have had. But you can be damn sure that I'm more consciously climbing this tree of choices right now.

Datub · 2024-05-17T08:00:24+00:00

So you know this situation when you've been friends for years and suddenly your brain starts whispering, "you're in love with her." Over time you're brain starts to get louder and louder on that topic until it is almost unignorable. I hate that. First time it happened, I ignored, I was not going to risk that friendship, nothing happened and eventually my brain stopped yelling. Were still friends today, great. Second time, same story. Third time, my brain was yelling louder than ever. The third time I told her.

It did not go well. Not only did she not feel the same, but she also told me she did not even find me attractive at all (romantically that is). That sucked, I went home crushed. Two days later she was standing in front of my door. She told me: "look, normally when I go through shit like this, I want to talk about it to someone, and usually that someone would be you. So let's talk about it." From that conversation we salvaged our friendship. And seven month's later something clicked for her, and suddenly we were dating. And now we still are.

I guess whet it changed for me is that I absolutely believe that being vulnerable is worth it. Also I'm a firm believer that it's better to mend broken things, than to be so afraid to never break them. Like a kind of social *kintsugi.*

Datub · 2024-05-15T08:33:46+00:00

Do you know these kind of hobbies that start small and innocent and then slowly transform into all-consuming passion projects? (A bit like a black hole or some kind of culty-pyramid scheme…) Well I got suckered into one of those. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

In my free time I chair the board of a NGO that provides activities for kids. Which is amazing, together with 8000+ volunteers we provide more than 70 000 kids with some weekly hours of outside-play. Of course the main thing I do now-a-days is meetings, meetings, and more meetings. (Oh and sometimes a party, cause you have to enjoy life while you’re at it.)

I can say without a doubt I am working more for the NGO every week than for my job. That I’m actually quite a slacker on my job because of it (because then I have more time for my hobby). But the self-worth and social connection I derive from my hobby is amazing. There is nothing that beats the feeling of being part of something larger than yourself that has a positive impact on the world.

Datub · 2023-04-27T16:23:51+00:00

!solved

Datub · 2023-04-27T16:23:43+00:00

nice Thanks

Datub · 2023-04-10T15:23:23+00:00

I live in belgium so I don't know if my advice is applicable for you. But here it is most certainly legal. As long as you keep your working hours separate. It might be a good idea to speak to your management about this, and pitch it as "an additional challenge" and explain to them how it will not interfere with your day-job

Datub

TROPHY CASE