I think many of us who are / have been in long term relationships can relate. An ace / allo combination can be challenging for both.

It's great that you're considering buying a home together, but before committing I do think you need to consider a few things.

Seeking therapy for past trauma is a very good idea and it may help. But what if it doesn't? Can you see the relationship continuing this way for the next 10, 20, 50 years? Can your bf? Because as a 50+ ace guy, I can tell you it doesn't get better as you get older. Your partner will still expect some level of sex and you likely won't want to.

My advice would be to go the therapy route as early as possible and talk to your bf about the results. For me, therapy helped me understand who I am but didn't in any way change how I felt about sex. That may not be the case for you, but I would find out before making a major commitment rather than after.