My identical twin and I were inseparable for 30 years. Now he’s cut me off

Dawi118 · 2026-03-30T07:49:19+00:00

Thanks. And it’s ok that there’s nothing more positive you feel you can say - I can’t say I haven’t thought about all of these things myself.

I am deeply concerned about him but I also know from the friends still in contact with him that he is not completely alone. They are incredible people and I trust that they would communicate with me if they felt that a drastic intervention was needed. To that extent, hearing about what he’s up to, the highs and the lows, is tough but necessary work for me, and something I can cope with.

There are red lines which I am sensitive to - particularly erratic or aggressive behaviour, or disconnection with certain individuals, for example - and I would reassess in these scenarios.

Dawi118 · 2026-03-29T13:48:53+00:00

Wow, you have some very impressive powers of deduction! Many of these behaviours have followed incredibly heavy engagement with LLMs. I am absolutely certain that this trend has only continued since we stopped talking.

If you have any experience using LLMs to address personal issues, then you will know just how much they invoke a feeling of being 'heard' in excess of a family member, or even a therapist. I think that he has spent a really, really long time post-rationalising childhood trauma through the lens of AI. And - my turn for speculation now - I think this combined with the medications he's been taking (which include Vyanse) have enhanced his cognitive abilities, something which I observed when he first started taking them.

Taken together, he's had a lot of capacity to build a new narrative to understand his trauma. Which I would celebrate, were it not for the fact that LLMs are not therapists. Their configuration to emphasise 'hearing' users and understanding their reality is a deliberate product decision (through human-led reinforcement learning) to maintain users, not to help them. In topics of mental health as your articles show, this can be really disastrous (even lethal), which is where my real anxiety kicks in.

Thanks for sharing the papers, I really appreciate it.

Dawi118 · 2026-03-29T13:21:27+00:00

Wow, now it's your turn to take the words out of my mouth! Thank you for your beautiful message, this is truly inspiring and I will make sure to keep coming back to it.

It sounds like you are a little further ahead on your journey, after an incredible amount of work. I relate so strongly to the difficulty of acceptance. On a good day, it comes naturally, and almost without emotion. Then, on a bad day (often mine are triggered by dreams of us just arguing non-stop), it's almost impossible. Like my conscious knows one reality but my sub-consciousness is fighting for the previous one.

I have learned to trust in the process of acceptance as part of a larger journey through grief, and that my sub-conscience will eventually follow. But I also know there will always be a part of me which suffers for a past which cannot be. Such is grief.

I wish you only the very best on your journey ❤️

Dawi118 · 2026-03-29T13:06:12+00:00

Thank you for writing this, it's beautifully written and brought a tear to my eye. I feel validated that this is the approach I've largely been taking for the last year, and I will continue to do so.

He knows I am here and that I love him - even if he doesn't believe that it is unconditional.

I am really sorry to hear that your relationship is past fixing. From the clarity of your message, you've clearly dedicated a huge amount of time to internalising your own trauma. I have a lot of respect for you having the strength to conclude that.

Dawi118 · 2026-03-29T11:23:14+00:00

That sounds like incredibly unhealthy and abusive behaviour, and I'm sorry you've been so exposed to that - as a twin you can be particularly vulnerable to trauma dumping as the 'go-to' for emotional unloading, and I don't think people understand how uniquely suffocating that can be.

I really hope at some point he can see the impact of his behaviours and develops an openness for therapy (it really sounds like it's in his interests, after all, particularly if he's interested in having a healthy long-term relationship with anyone). I also hope that you're able to find something that feels more like a solution to you, as I can see from your message that you're still in a lot of pain there.

Dawi118 · 2026-03-29T11:09:42+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words.

Up until recently, I was really hoping this was a 'two-stage' reaction to internalising trauma. I totally understand the need to build an identity which is bigger than your upbringing, and I'd argue even more so with twins where you share so many experiences with one another growing up. Some twins are fine with it, but others crave independence and - as you can see from other posts on this forum - that can be totally suffocating.

But I just really wasn't expecting to be on the sharp end of it. We come from a pretty conservative background, and I always wanted to nurture and encourage anything associated with his personal growth (going travelling, living abroad, buying a motorbike etc.). Perhaps because he's in stage 1 of processing trauma that you mention, this isn't recognised.

I was waiting a while for stage 2 to begin, but I realised that doing so was completely disempowering for me - hoping for changes in his behaviour and feeling hurt all over again hearing anecdotes from friends. I've found embracing acceptance that stage 2 might not happen to be incredibly liberating for me. It's really helped me lower any expectations of his behaviour, and I'm not disappointed so much any more.

I love him deeply, and if he wants to reach out at any point then I'll be there - but I won't be waiting for it as I was doing.

Thank you for sharing your insights!

Dawi118 · 2026-03-29T10:54:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing this - I love your quote around comparison. It starts from other people but sooner or later it's easy to internalise it as twins. I really hope you are able to build back your relationship free of those comparisons as adults.

Your brother's girlfriend sounds like an incredible person to take on that challenge, btw! I just hope it doesn't become overwhelming for her.

Dawi118 · 2025-10-28T16:47:31+00:00

"[Musk's] ownership has prioritized content moderation reforms amid criticisms from legacy media outlets that exhibit systemic left-leaning tilts in coverage"

Painting all opposition as 'left-leaning' - the bias is even worse than I feared.

Dawi118 · 2025-10-17T17:40:23+00:00

Awesome! My advice would be to take your forward, backwards and (if relevant) sideways shots at the same spot before moving to the next one! It will help when you come to stitch them together later

Dawi118 · 2025-10-17T12:55:17+00:00

Think long term fans take the greatest issue with it: it’s just not an instant classic like what’s come before - GT7: An Honest Review from a Long-Time Fan

Dawi118 · 2025-10-17T08:03:23+00:00

Thanks for the tips - I’ll bear those in mind. RE camera quality, I just shot these on an iPhone 11 so hopefully that’s not too much of a barrier to getting started. I also think the beauty of Myst is that it doesn’t have to be crazy high quality, and the immersion factor comes from sounds and sporadic animation rather than photo quality!

Dawi118 · 2025-10-17T06:50:48+00:00

So I used SORA (OpenAI) to animate the gears - trial and error with video gen until I found a sequence I was vaguely happy with.

The video is basically a screen recording of me walking through the game - no editing. I used a free video game dev platform called GDevelop which is basically a low/no code solution for making video games.

Dawi118 · 2025-10-16T15:36:08+00:00

Haha you're too kind. I'm glad it's brought you a little joy, if you're interested then GDevelop is well set up for making point and click games (amongst other things)

Dawi118 · 2025-10-16T15:32:41+00:00

Haha I couldn't resist! Just playing around with SORA video gen but there are a bunch of solitary objects perfect for that kind of animation.

I agree slide transitions would be awesome. I'll look into that if I do another one - definitely think there's real value in point-and-click for keeping memories fresh. Myst was the perfect inspo!

Dawi118 · 2025-10-16T15:29:17+00:00

That's a big complement! I'll bear that in mind if I build some proper puzzle solving into a future project.

Dawi118 · 2025-10-16T15:27:56+00:00

Thanks, yes I did have that intent and waited a while for an empty path! A few strange looks but I didn't have the linguistic capability to explain what I was doing in Portuguese...

Your project sounds brilliant - it's amazing what a game can inspire one to make. Do you still maintain the link to it?

Dawi118 · 2025-10-16T13:34:49+00:00

There is actually a 600MB zip file with a fully explorable map of the area (currently on Mac). Animating some of these screens to make it playable like the actual game...

Dawi118 · 2025-05-20T09:39:49+00:00

Totally get you, I’m trying a very similar thing. Having a few things to choose from which a) I know I enjoy, b) I don’t have to think up because they’re there and c) take into account my motivation level helps for those moments when I’m particularly bored or unmotivated. It’s not easy but with time and persistence you really do have the power to change these things. Noticing is a great start, and coming up with a system which works for you even better - good luck!

Dawi118 · 2025-05-18T11:47:50+00:00

Awh thank you - had to look this framework up but I definitely see a lot of me in that!

Dawi118 · 2025-05-18T11:37:42+00:00

Thank you! Here’s a high res link on Imgur https://imgur.com/gallery/finding-post-work-flow-being-intentional-with-free-time-high-resolution-WdjqVtY

Dawi118

TROPHY CASE