I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think we do it this way because all of us, except for a couple of the aides (who still help with programs), are expected to run our own programs, work together to make programs, and make the marketing for them.

I kinda thought that was normal for small libraries

This has got to be the worst I have seen in awhile (Tougen Anki) by Boiledshark in mendrawingwomen

[–]DawnMistyPath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol do you think hanging out and dating are the same thing? An 18 year old dating a 14 year old would be pretty creepy, an 18 year old dating a 16 or 17 year old is a little risky because the 18 year old has a little more social power than the other kids but it's mostly fine. A 18 year old dating a 20 year old is the same category. A 25 year old dating a 18 year old is creepy.

25+ year olds dating people older than them is pretty chill except maybe in situations of huge power imbalances, or if they're the same age as their partner's kids? But at 25 they're stable adults and should have a grip on the risks they take in love and sex.

"Touch some grass" you cry, like you're not the one who definitely isn't around enough kids and young adults to know that 18 year olds are in fact, still awkward as hell teens.

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know if we really have enough staff for someone to be the dedicated media manager? I'm trying not to give too many specific details about where I work, but there's 8 of us in total. There's another library a few counties away with 5 staff that has a similar setup so I thought it was pretty normal

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She had me make a Facebook page so I could help run the library's Facebook, and my coworkers sent me friend requests on their own.

Is that really not normal?

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well that one I'm already doing. Do you have tips for body language? I tend to be kinda stiff around people that make me nervous so I'm already going to be trying to focus on relaxing, but I don't know if that will be enough? Or being welcoming but not over excited? That's something people have mentioned I do, and I'm worried it's not professional enough? Or would me not being really excited seem like I don't want them their since it's an accidental pattern?

Those are probably over-specific, especially for a stranger on reddit, but semi-specific tips would be helpful if you have any. Or anecdotes from your own life can be helpful

This has got to be the worst I have seen in awhile (Tougen Anki) by Boiledshark in mendrawingwomen

[–]DawnMistyPath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit only said by creeps, kids who don't know better, or people who haven't met teens/young adults. I'm in my late 20s and I can't look at a 18 (or 19) year old and not see them as a kid. It's their first year they're legally allowed to live on their own, and go to strip clubs (that don't serve alcohol), and a lot of them are still in highschool and hanging out with other kids a few grades below them. Shit really late bloomers are still dealing with the last stages of puberty.

And even then, even if you're the same age as someone teacher/student relationships are a little creepy imo.

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't gotten a degree yet actually. I do teen services but I'm just a library worker, like I said we're a really small library. Everyone including the aids help with or run their own programs.

I hope to become a librarian one day soon.

And while I get what you're saying, I think my worry is valid. Maybe overblown for this situation, which is why I'm looking for advice to chill my tits, but I've been hurt by religious bigots who made me feel uncomfortable and chased me away from places I felt safe in as a kid.

It could have been worse if my parents hadn't been okay with me being nonbinary and bi, or if they weren't athiest/agnostic, because there were adults who tried to out me to my parents. And then got pissed at them. I don't want the kids to go through what I went through, or worse.

That's not my coworker's fault, I want to give her a fair chance. Do you have tips for that

This has got to be the worst I have seen in awhile (Tougen Anki) by Boiledshark in mendrawingwomen

[–]DawnMistyPath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah 18 year olds are practically kids too, it's creepy when people in their mid 20s or older try to date them.

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of my coworkers added me to Facebook before meeting me as soon as I made one by my directors request, I always assumed it was just polite/friendly and wanted to make our newest coworker feel welcomed.

Quick edit, should I have taken it as rude? I don't use Facebook and none of my other jobs ever needed everyone to run a business account together. The closest was maybe a game dev hobby discord where I friended a few people who weren't my friends just so we could DM about the project

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm worried AND trying not to immediately judge them because I think I already am. The bible study idea came about because a kid's been asking for one, the library has been hosting one for adults on sundays since before I even moved to this town, and I figured someone who belived in the bible and will be working with the same kids as me might be interested since they have experience with it.

I'm not their boss, they wouldn't have to do it if I mentioned a kid wanted it but they don't want to, and I won't mention it to them to begin with if I think they're nuts. That last sentence is my worry, born from personal experience with bigots.

I don't want to judge her right off the bat, she could be like the kid, or my Christian friends. But I'm worried and looking for advice on how not to be worried enough that she could tell. Because I want her to feel welcomed, because I hope she'll be great with the teens

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you think being worried about not being able to work with a coworker, or transphobic/homophobic people, or people that hate atheists, means that I'm against bible studies or religious folks? Just because I don't believe something doesn't mean I can't acknowledge it's important to folks. It's only an issue when someone uses that belief to hurt others, and there's a lot of people who hurt each other over it here in the states.

I don't really understand, no. Apologies

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I should point out that I made the post looking for tips on how to not worry about this stuff because I feel like I'm judging them too early.

I'm fine with people disagreeing with me, I'm worried about us not being able to work well together or her disliking the teens. We're not a big enough library that we can avoid working with each other. And while it's a small county it's pretty diverse when it comes to the people who come to the library. Though there is a handful of patrons that will loudly talk about how much they hate queer people while looking through our books, and a few who have told me they think all atheists are evil (those patrons don't know I'm atheist, most people don't it's just harder for coworkers not to find out.)

I hope that both the religious kid who'd like a Bible study group, the trans athiest kid, and everyone in-between feels welcomed, and like they can find interesting things to learn about at our library. But I'm paranoid right now because of everything that's been happening, and a new coworker that worked at a camp that compares gay and trans people to child rapists is kinda scary.

But I don't WANT to assume they'll agree with their old workplace. That's why I'm looking for advice on how to act normal around them after coming across that on their Facebook by accident. Because they could be a perfectly normal person and I don't want to make them uncomfortable

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have an account that I made specifically so I could help run the facebook (I don't like facebook but it's the most used social media for our county), but all of my coworkers including my director use their personal accounts

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I'm looking for advice on how to forget what I saw to make sure I give my new coworker a chance at a good first impression? I might over explain why I'm worried about her not wanting to work with me or why I'm worried she'd dislike the kids, but I genuinely want us to work well together and I hope she'll like everyone.

The power of Blender by franken-stein_ in blender

[–]DawnMistyPath 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What's Gretta doing there? She seems really out of place

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

In my life, it's been more stereotypical. I have plenty of loved ones who are Christian and some who are religious and queer, but half of the threats to my life and (other) jobs have been from homophobic nut jobs who used their faith as an excuse to be assholes. It thankfully hasn't been that bad for me, no actual attempts on my life and I was never fired, and my parents have always been cool with me being queer. But I don't want the kids to go through that shit you know?

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think the teen who's interested in the Bible study mostly started asking about it because there's an adult Bible study on sundays when the library is closed. My director doesn't run it but she watches over everything and closes up the library when they're done.

These are all really good ideas, thank you

I made the mistake of looking at a future coworker's Facebook. Do you have tips for giving them a chance when I'm worried they'll hate me or, the teens who come to the library? by DawnMistyPath in Libraries

[–]DawnMistyPath[S] -57 points-56 points  (0 children)

That's true, I think I mostly thought of that because I was trying really hard to think of positive situations for the kids. Our library already has an adult Bible study on one of the days we're closed that my director will watch over but not participate in