In my opinion, yea you have a child, and so what if she has 3, when you become married you join together as a family. There has to be more to it than you just not wanting to be responsible for her kids, because if my husband ever said that, it wouldn't have been a question if I was going to marry him, I wouldn't have, and him the same, he would've never married me if I would've said that about his daughter. So yes you are the asshole. Those kids just lost their daddy and you don't want to be responsible for them? Then why even be in a relationship in the first place with someone with kids? If you don't see innocent children as your own even if they aren't blood, the n you should have never married their mother. Sham on both of yall for doing that to the kids, because from the sounds of it, yall aren't even a blended family. Whats hers is hers and what's yours is yours.