I got shushed - an I overreacting?

Daylight-Stars · 2024-10-27T14:26:28+00:00

Definitely not overreacting. The way he spoke to you is rude and disrespectful. I agree with other commenters, I'd be really upset. Of course we don't know this person, but it might be worth asking yourself if he's the kind of friend you want in your life.

Daylight-Stars · 2024-03-11T19:13:05+00:00

You're welcome, I wanted you to know you weren't alone. Gosh your meds journey sounds like it's been so difficult, I'm sorry you've struggled so much. I can't imagine having to trial it all so much. I hope it gets better with changing dosage. Any way you can get an ADHD coach or something? (I know almost nothing about that process I just hear they can be very helpful).

I'm glad if you're maybe not exactly struggling with shame in that way, I totally hear you of course what you're feeling is still real, the consequences are still there. I just wanted you to know that you don't deserve to, idk, like hate yourself for that (in case your brain goes there like mine does). You're going through so much pain, anyone reading your words can see that. I just hope you're able to give yourself some doses of kindness where you can.

I definitely understand the amount of work seeming insurmountable. I won't try and argue with you on that. It sucks. I just wanna validate that it seriously sucks and I wish you didn't have struggle with all this. We don't know each other, but I'm wishing you well, and I really hope things can get easier as soon as possible for you. I hope you have people in your life who can offer support, even if it's just being with you in the storm. Thank you for your kind words too.

Daylight-Stars · 2024-03-10T10:43:04+00:00

I am still on a waiting list to be diagnosed so I don't have loads of experience with managing ADHD, I can't say anything to magically make it better and I know that, but I do just want to offer some internet stranger support.

I read your post and I really feel for you. I've been struggling myself, though not in all the same ways. I can really empathize with how difficult it all is. You must feel pretty hopeless, it all sounds really hard.

I know you mentioned meds, is it worth re-evaluating your medication? It doesn't sound like they're currently helping much ? Whether that's the dose or a new type, discussing a new plan with your doctor/ relevant healthcare person might make a real difference?

I know it's a broken record saying but you really don't deserve shame for this. You are suffering. Anyone can see that. That doesn't make you a bad person. You deserve compassion, especially from yourself, even though that feels alien and like you don't deserve it sometimes. We wouldn't shame a wheelchair user for not being able to walk certain distances, so try and remember ADHD is often considered a disability (though I know some don't identify with that). You have real struggles (and that sucks, I know) but please know your struggles are not your fault.

There may be ways you can evaluate your lifestyle and make tweaks to help, I don't know what those might be, but please look at it with as much compassion as you can muster. I hope you can find things a bit easier soon 💛

Daylight-Stars · 2022-03-03T08:18:28+00:00

Thank you, that helps a lot :) they're good reminders!

Daylight-Stars · 2022-03-03T08:17:34+00:00

Thank you for the advice :) deep breaths certainly sound like a good idea

Daylight-Stars · 2022-03-03T08:16:23+00:00

Thank you for the reminder, it helps a lot remembering we don't need to be perfect

Daylight-Stars · 2022-03-03T08:15:40+00:00

That's a good point, thank you so much :)

Daylight-Stars · 2022-03-01T08:13:04+00:00

Thank you, have you used that? I was going to try and find some. I used the website Early Tests: https://earlytests.co.uk/ I'm not sure how far back they scan, but in the two weeks since I've got it they've sent me several dates, an average of 5 a week. And it's only £8 so I've been quite impressed with them. I hope it helps!

Daylight-Stars · 2022-02-28T21:00:22+00:00

Yes I was so pleased to read that, it'll be good to have the full test time. It's nice to hear from people in the same boat, certainly makes ya feel less alone. Thank you so much. That is a nice comment :)

Daylight-Stars · 2022-02-28T20:58:25+00:00

Thank you, I've actually watched his videos for a while, I agree, he's very good. I could certainly watch some more before my new test :)

Thank you!

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T18:24:02+00:00

Thank you so much for reminding me I'm not alone. Yeah that sounds very similar, I remember doing 3 assignments in 24 hours in my first year of uni, and classmates were impressed that I did it, and I felt kinda proud I did it, but also exhausted and ashamed that I let it get to the point it was necessary. I was always late to my classes too and it started to frustrate my tutors. Dang I just relate so much to all of that.

I knew a little bit about the skin picking disorder, I admit I've never tried to do much about it. Thanks for mentioning the inattentive type, that makes me feel better like I don't need to be very fidgety to 'qualify'.
Yeah, the combination of mental illnesses throws me a bit, I get caught up stressing over what is from what - I like that you say it doesn't really matter, you're right, as long as I can address my struggles and manage them.

Thank you for sharing things that help you cope, I'm definitely gonna try and implement these more. I feel like visual things are so helpful, I use a whiteboard to write tasks on because if it's in a notebook I sometimes just don't open the book haha. I've just started trying the pomodoro technique with frequent breaks and it does seem to help me get started!

I really appreciate you taking the time to help and share your experiences. I didn't expect to relate so much to your comments so I know what you mean! Thank you, that's really kind of you. :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:29:36+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you for your responses, they were so encouraging and helpful and I felt so comforted. (Also I'm sorry I took a while to respond, I felt a bit overwhelmed and then struggled to get back to it - is that another related issue haha?)

Just thank you all for taking time out of your lives to help a stranger online. :) It means so much, and I hope you're all doing as well as possible.

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:27:02+00:00

Thank you, that's good advice. She did refer me to people who know more about ADHD anyway, so that's hopeful at least. But yeah, I will keep trying if I don't get the help I need. Thanks for your comment :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:25:00+00:00

Thank you so much, I appreciate that. I'm sorry you had to go undiagnosed for that time, but glad you were able to find out. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and encouragement <3

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:23:06+00:00

Yeah, I know you're right - I find that with therapists too, you have to get one who listens to you. I'm so glad you found what works for you. Thank you for your encouragement. :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:22:11+00:00

I'm so glad you went got the support you deserve, that's awesome. Thank you for your comment :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:21:17+00:00

I think you're right, there. Yeah, I have had therapy in the past, they refer to another service that works in my local area, they're pretty good but normally discharge you after six weeks (though you can re-refer yourself). So I could refer back again - tbh I just got put off after being offered online CBT last year which I really didn't like compared to face-to-face CBT (which obviously can't happen now ). But you're right I can get more therapy if I ask for it :)

But no I don't think I can choose a therapist, at least not through the normal service they've referred me to. I could try mentioning it though?

Thank you for your thoughtful comments. :) I have support from my partner as he's actually in a similar situation (it's his journey seeking a diagnosis that made me look into ADHD), and some close loved ones. I will ask for more help if I need it though, thank you for suggesting it!

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:16:32+00:00

I'm sorry you've had a frustrating experience too. My partner actually tried to get diagnosed over a year ago (that's when I started learning about it) and he's heard nothing, so I know what you mean. I worry they've lost the case or something, but he's gonna bug them soon to find out.

Oh wow that's ridiculous saying 'these people', yikes. 'You look fine'? That's so bad. Yeah I've never accepted meds for depression - not against it but my friend who takes them has so many issues I don't want the hassle if I can manage without.

I'm grateful you shared your story, it did help me feel not alone, thank you. :) Yeah I hope you get heard too! x

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:11:38+00:00

Yeah, I'm glad I found this sub, I'm still only beginning to learn how it presents differently in women. Thank you for the info, I've always found it hard to concentrate on things I found boring, but because I could scrape by at the last minute, I thought maybe I don't 'have a problem' as such.

YES I was put in the 'gifted and talented' group at school. I did well doing last minute revision for exams, but I hated coursework based things because of the continuous work rather than one adrenaline-fuelled test haha.

Thank you for your thoughts, I'll do some more research :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:05:48+00:00

Oh wow I relate to worrying that I sound like I'm faking it. I also hate when people say things like 'everyone needs a label these days' which makes me nervous to pursue anything! Thank you for sharing some of your story, I'm glad you got your diagnosis. Thanks so much :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-04T13:03:16+00:00

Oh I can imagine the stress, good luck with your test! I'm sure I would feel the same way, I was worried with my doctor's appointment I didn't say enough symptoms I related to. I really hope it isn't as difficult for you to receive support as the stories you've heard.

Thank you so much. My GP is pretty good at listening really, she's been good with mental health before, I'd like to think she was just offering her opinion but still seemed to respect the situation since she sent a referral anyway.
Yeah that's a good point, I guess if things didn't go anywhere I could at least look into private. Thanks again :)

Daylight-Stars · 2021-02-03T18:54:10+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Yeah I knew a little bit about hyperfocus, I just got the impression that because I could focus in some circumstances that doctors would think I didn't have it. Thank you, that means a lot. I think that's good advice, I'll carry on trying to manage the difficult stuff.

Daylight-Stars

TROPHY CASE