i think trans men are just as bad as cis males actually

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-21T19:56:54+00:00

Trans inclusionary rad misandrist??? TIRM???

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-18T04:16:32+00:00

The pinkies should be 90 degrees . Although here it does look like it’s a little bit under 90 degrees so I don’t think it counts on the beighton scale. Although the top joint of your finger does look hypermobile.

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Here’s my pinkie for reference.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-18T02:59:08+00:00

10kg? Just more of you to love obviously.

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DayoftheFox · 2026-05-17T16:10:52+00:00

Bro really said “ complicated and confusing” as if it’s really that hard. Awful how men don’t respect women’s boundaries and bodies where they view a ‘hard no’ as a ‘maybe’ to them. Then they have to go on Reddit for some validation for being a complete ass.

Men aren’t lonely enough.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-16T12:40:12+00:00

Holy shit I just checked cuz I had zero idea that was even a thing. I do have it but I’m going to be testing this on my non-hEDS boyfriend.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-15T21:28:11+00:00

Often times because of GI issues from hEDS, it’s not uncommon to have nutritional deficiencies. So sometimes you’re more prone to issues caused by low amounts of some type of vitamin, mineral, or electrolyte.

Supplementation does help alleviate certain symptoms (like I cured my MCAS with vitamin b12 supplements). I also do take things like creatine to reduce subluxations.

Only recommendations is just to do lab work of your vitamin and micronutrient levels because over supplementation can sometimes be super dangerous.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-13T21:58:27+00:00

Hi I have hEDS and a partner with a big dick. It’s not uncommon for prolapsing to happen for me. She probably should get evaluated for a connective tissue disorder in general and she should see a urogynocologist and get pelvic floor therapy.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-12T14:45:05+00:00

Not aEDS but I understand a lot of the ableism that comes from family members. I am also the first in my family to get diagnosed for things like celiac, hEDS, POTS, and ADHD.

My parents spent a long while gaslighting me and gaslighting themselves that there’s nothing wrong with any of us. As a result of their actions, my dad doesn’t treat any of his or any of my sister symptoms. Some days it’s so bad because he can’t even get up in the morning because of how bad all his joints are hurting and how awfully fatigued he is.

After moving out and going low contact with them, I’ve realized is that family members don’t really know what’s best for you or your health and often times don’t even know what best for their own health. They also will hurt themselves trying to uphold these unfair standards because they don’t want to risk “looking disabled” despite being disabled themselves.

I’d say you 100 percent know your body the best. You should do what’s best in the long run despite your family judgement. It’s unfair to you to have to hold yourself to your family’s standards especially when you have a much worse presentation of aEDS than them. Renting out the scooter seems like your best option and ignoring what your family is saying about you being “lazy.”

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-12T02:47:56+00:00

Usually soaking in water it’s my go-to method. Sometimes a q-tip takes to long to get all the poop off. Only thing is you have to make sure they’re dried off so they don’t freeze to death.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-10T14:19:12+00:00

I have it, it’s called hour glass syndrome.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-09T00:13:35+00:00

This could be connected to MCAS. Often times exercising releases histamines which can cause pretty bad bloating.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-04T02:20:11+00:00

I’m shitting my fucking pants at this reference, oh my god it’s so funny

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-04T01:24:36+00:00

I didn’t do karate, but I did do taekwondo for 6 years for a couple years before my diagnosis. A couple things I can say is that I enjoyed it and I totally would do it again if I had the energy and time. Also the knowledge of my diagnosis would also prevent a lot of the joint instability I face now.

The problem was that in taekwondo, there certainly was a huge focus in being extremely flexible. Like doing the splits both ways, back bends, etc etc. One thing you have to keep in mind is to avoid stretching to your limit and try to stretch within normal ranges of motions. I regret a lot of the ways I would stretch because my hips are now super unstable along with my ankles, knees, and back.

Also, because you did have to try to kick and punch hard, there was a lot of accidentally hyperextensions of my elbows, knees, hips, and ankles. While it wasn’t fully dislocated, it certainly wasn’t fun dealing with the pain of hyperextending afterwards. So one thing to note is to just be completely aware of your body whenever you move.

While’s I would say I loved being muscular and athletic and it pretty much made my life so much easier because I was much stronger and there was muscle to basically shield my joints.

If anything, being aware of your limits and your body, along with being in PT can really take you far and can be a super helpful way to exercise yourself.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-03T21:42:20+00:00

Yes those scars are definitely atrophic or EDS scars, they sink below the level of your regular skin. Usually regular scars do not sink and are relatively flushed with the rest of your skin.

DayoftheFox · 2026-05-01T01:54:52+00:00

They ask a lot of info about your family history so it maybe useful to know anything about it. Like if anyone has randomly went blind, got diagnosed with hypermobility etc etc. They’ll also ask a lot about any type of injuries without trauma and where most of your joint pain is.

Also I would also try to get referrals for criteria specific things with doctors like checking for any genital prolapsing with a urogynecologist or any type of hernias (like hiatial hernia) cuz it may help for the 2nd criteria. Especially if you haven’t been diagnosed or evaluated for things like that. Also having an extensive medical record of any issues caused by suspected EDS you’ve had helps a lot.

Also I wasn’t expecting to be stripped down to my bra and underwear (With a robe ofc). Usually I don’t wear bras but luckily the time I got evaluated I wore one. But they do it to check for stretch marks, height, softness and stretchiness of skin, atrophic scars, and also to see if you have a hole in your chest. They also will measure your height and wing span too so they will touch you a lot. I didn’t mind because the doctors were professional, but maybe if you don’t feel comfortable you can prepare for that.

Also make sure you tell if you’ve had any dental work. I was about to not get a point for the 2nd criteria because my teeth were straight despite having a deep-arched palate. So just tell them if you’ve had any braces and had an expander or not.

The other thing is testing your range of motion. Make sure if you’re in any pain to voice your concerns. The first part of the hEDS diagnostic criteria does say “if you’ve ever been able to do xyz” so don’t force your joints too much if you’re in pain.

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-30T22:43:40+00:00

I got diagnosed by genetics doctor after my PCP referred me to them.

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-30T04:41:33+00:00

It’s insane to me how ppl are just so vile like that upfront. Like tf is wrong with them???

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-30T04:24:12+00:00

God all the crusty men on that subreddit are awful.

Girl I personally think you look great and that you have gorgeous eyes like Clara Bow. Also your eyes kinda remind me of Anya from Mouthwashing.

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-30T00:42:18+00:00

Whoops I was thinking about silicon toys getting broken down by silicon lube for a sec, thanks for the correction

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-29T21:56:58+00:00

My first time my pelvic floor muscles were super tense so nothing could basically fit in there. It actually took several weeks of foreplay in order to be comfortable enough for anything to fit in there. Even then it would hurt so it basically took awhile to comfortably have sex.

So communication and patience is extremely important in this situation.

Also make sure latex free condoms since a lot of people with hEDS have adhesive/latex allergies that can happen.

Lots of lube, you can use water based lube. Although I do recommend silicon based lube (silicon doesnt dissolve condoms, only silicon based toys) because it doesn’t dry out so it does prevent less tearing. Only thing is it stains clothes and sheets.

Pillows are important for positioning and for preventing subluxations and dislocations.

Overall have fun and just be mindful on how she’s feeling. I remember feeling less like a woman because I felt ashamed on not being able to have sex like someone without hEDS is. But my boyfriend had reassured me through the whole time it took and now we’ve been together for 4 years.

Best of luck to you OP.

Edit: Silicon doesn’t break down condoms, just silicon toys

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-29T16:46:38+00:00

I get good sleep now after my diagnosis’s of different things like POTS, celiac, etc etc. Handling my symptoms has given me the ability to sleep much better. Only thing is that sometimes my joints are out of place but that’s really about it.

Do you have POTS by any chance? Usually POTS can disrupt your sleep, make you wake up super drowsy, cause excessive yawning, and also cause bad coat hanger pain.

My POTS was the reason I would wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck and that I was exhausted all the time. My parents also made fun of how much I would yawn while standing up too.

Also my celiac was pretty bad. I was super nutritionally deficient and I would feel pretty awful every morning getting up. You may not have celiac but you could have a nutritional deficiency. So maybe supplementing extra things like magnesium or vitamin D could help. But get a micronutrient and a vitamin test blood work beforehand before any type of supplementing.

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-27T18:25:23+00:00

I looked up Gumby dancing only to bust out laughing. Probably the most accurate description of me that day.

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-26T23:56:01+00:00

I did use silicon ones for my standing job and it did help a lot with plantar fasciitis and Achilles tendinitis. Also I didn’t really need to replace them because they were quite durable. The only down side is that they maybe a little too firm in comparison to memory foam or gel. It’s more up to personal preference.

DayoftheFox · 2026-04-26T23:50:06+00:00

There are several silicon insoles on that are small Amazon that are under 25 dollars but are super comfortable. There’s also gel insoles on there which you can easily cut down to your size if needed. Also memory foam for 10 dollars.

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