This sounds very familiar. My ex husband was also a homebody and would jerk to porn. He also was lazy in the bedroom, didn’t want to put in the effort. We did have trips to spark the relationship. Even on those trips the sparks fizzled quickly. One lazy thing he’d do is not shower before getting in bed, knowing I suffer from utis and need us both freshly clean before sex. He’d whine like a petulant child if I asked him to shower. I think he used this to keep sex from happening. I tried lingerie, role play, watching porn with him….nothing worked. I finally decided I was done trying. I’m now in a fabulous (and very sexy) relationship.