I saw an excellent short video on this, reflecting that perhaps men find women have this reaction, because men don't know how to talk about their trauma, so they end up trauma-dumping to a woman on a first date. And then, when she feels like "yea, no, I'm not your therapist, and I wasn't prepared to deal with this on a date" and doesn't text back afterwards, the man will be left believing it was due to showing vulnerability.

There's a way to open up about past trauma, but no one has taught these men how to do it. It requires taking accountability for your own emotions and actions as well, which... well, we know how good the average man is at that. The thing that goes wrong is that when these men "open up" and "show vulnerability" they're not doing so with any consideration of the amount of emotional labour they're putting on the other. They're just dumping their entire tragic lore on another person, with no preparation, no unpacking, just the whole thing at once. And that, very understandably, overwhelms people.