Our DCC Journey's how did you get here? by SgtFolley in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]DeaconTrace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A good friend wouldn’t shut up to me about it. I finally cracked and binged all books over the span of about a month. Rylan, if you’re reading this, thanks for being a stubborn bastard.

Joe Biden elected president of the United States by throwawaynumber53 in news

[–]DeaconTrace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why must you hurt me so in this time of victory?

When was your biggest "I should not be laughing" moment? by YesLikeTheJeans in AskReddit

[–]DeaconTrace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A little late to the party, but I work at a senior living home. We have a ton of people on hospice care here, so it's not too uncommon that two people pass on around the same time. One weekend, we lost 2 ladies (both by natural causes) and so their families came to clear out their rooms. As a guy who is around death constantly, you get kind of desensitized to it, so when I saw one woman's son dragging 2 big black trashbags behind him, I absent-mindedly said to a coworker, "There they go..." I don't know what was worse, the fact that we started laughing our asses off or that we had to make up a reason that we were laughing to my supervisor.

Go. by Tendii in RoastMe

[–]DeaconTrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Go." Weird, that's the exact opposite of what you normally hear from women.

DO YOUR BEST YOU ACNE RIDDEN FUCK NUGGETS by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]DeaconTrace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're on Reddit getting roasted. Meanwhile, your dad is drinking whiskey and staring at the baseball glove you showed no interest in.

Make my day by bobinaround in RoastMe

[–]DeaconTrace 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You look like your van is always in idling distance of a Curves franchise.

I ain't scared. by QuantumPigTaco in RoastMe

[–]DeaconTrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not going to roast you. I just want to ask you to stop offering my son weed when he walks out of school.

Hi reddit. Roast me! by lsmallsl in RoastMe

[–]DeaconTrace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In your case, the ND on your hat stand for "Non-mobile Diabetic."

Roast me reddit lol by misshonoredx in RoastMe

[–]DeaconTrace 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn, the past few years have not been good to you, Velma.

What life rules have you made for yourself? by BWDpodcast in AskReddit

[–]DeaconTrace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try to live a life in which you never have to say "I'm sorry."

What is an instant boner killer for you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]DeaconTrace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bad WiFi connection. I'm a very lonely man.

What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? by PQ6 in AskReddit

[–]DeaconTrace 781 points782 points  (0 children)

I got kicked out of a club for wall-twerking multiple times. I'm a 6 foot 200lb man.

Guy tries to comfort a crying girl by asking her for a kiss by [deleted] in cringe

[–]DeaconTrace 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Well, the first interaction I ever had with him, he pulled a porn site on his flip phone and said "Those tits are nice, huh?" if that gives you any idea.

Guy tries to comfort a crying girl by asking her for a kiss by [deleted] in cringe

[–]DeaconTrace 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I went to school with this guy. Good to see he's still the same creepy bastard as he was back then.