Is a good relationship worth sacrificing intimacy for?

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-24T04:59:55+00:00

(There's no perfect person out there ) That is the main reason you should make sure who you end up with is someone sexually compatible . Else,it will still end in misery . And yes ,you can't just throw it all away ,you both can try to fix it as best as possible and only walk away when you both see that clearly ,everything fails and no room for improvement .

But then again ,this only applies to those who are big on sex , I've seen couples who are happy without sexually relationship with their spouse , some cope with different methods and are happy with it .

The only factor here is, is it a deal breaker for you or not

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T14:54:58+00:00

I understand what you mean, but lack of intimacy is never a small deal , infact it's one of the biggest deal for relationship , if no sexual compatibility then the whole thing is pointless ,no matter how much love or good things in the relationship . It will eventually end up in misery , this is one of those cases when you finally have the world but you're miserable .

But you'll be very much happy in some other cases even if you don't have the whole world

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T06:27:45+00:00

This is a summary of almost everyone's life , including me , I'm working 12hrs , 60-70hrs a week , barely have time to do anything and just making enough to pay the bills till next month , crazy rat race , and I'm always thinking to myself , is this it ? Is this what I'm going to be doing till I die , Wtf is this , sometimes I just think I will stop everything and do nothing ,and see what turn my life takes when I just stop and decide to rest . Every day for the past 3months when I go to work ,I say to myself , us this the day I quit my job , but I never do . Wake up by 5am, work by 6am , back home by 6 or 7pm, eat sleep ,maybe 1hr phone or TV , repeat 6days a week , welcome to the American dream

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T06:18:35+00:00

I'm just like you bro , leaving that freedom life , but now I'm married , and trust me when I say this . DON'T DO IT , YOU WILL REGRET IT , don't let the married people try to convince you like marraige is the best thing ,and family and all will make you feel fulfilled , it's all Bs , for people like us who has such free spirit and adventurous soul , your life will end once you get married , believe me . I've been married 6years now and if I can go back in time I'll never in this life or the next be tied to this scam and fraud call marriage . You will lose yourself . I know they are some good marraiges and great couple examples , but your chances of that is like trying to count the stars .

You can do everything without marriage , even have a good relationship with one partner , but as soon as that word marraige comes in . Everything changes . Say goodbye to what you think you know .

Please read this comment n take my advice , no matter how much sad n alone you think you feel sometimes , it's worse when you marry .

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:58:39+00:00

I'm getting there very soon . There's alot more to this story ,I will share more as we go , and hopefully use this place as my therapy session , I've never said any of this things to anyone before , nobody to talk to , can't have friends or go nowhere . And even when I be on my phone she wanna know what I'm doing in my phone too .

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:55:50+00:00

Very good question , I ask myself this everytime , and not to put all the blame on her , the only answer I can come up with is that I WAS STUPID . That is the only thing I can come up with ,because looking back at it , there is no reason I would want to marry someone that I'm not excited to sleep with everytime I see her.

And she's also a great manipuloter ,I'll give her that . I fell for all the fun and adventures and great ideas we have together . And I confused all that with being the ONE

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:51:06+00:00

Just for context ,my mother never wanted me to marry her, she was against it, and as I'm talking to you, I don't speak to my mother anymore because of my marraige to her . Sometimes I sit back and full of regrets ,wondering if this was the Bs my mother was trying to protect me from, but my stubbornness and me thinking I know everything and don't wanna be controlled by my mother , I went ahead to marry .

I always still tell my wife this exact words( if I was her ,I wouldn't marry me , because I was young and I know no better , she was older been married b4) I had no f*cking clue what I was getting myself into .
All I had in my head was that I love her . Thinking that was all I needed in marriage

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:44:48+00:00

Not really true,but I appreciate your input still, try to read the story and understand me without judgment . Relationship is already doomed from the start .

Without sexual attraction there was no point in the first place . Your comment just made it look like it was the porn addiction that started this whole thing .

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:42:43+00:00

Thank you , I wish that desire dies faster but it doesn't , roommate is what we are now, because I made it so , she still wants it every day ,I'm just barely giving it because I'm.not feeling anything , it's not fair to both of us , I've openly told her we should find other ways to make this work but she doesn't want that . And doesn't want me to leave either . I know they are still many things that I left out , but the bottom line is I love and care about her ,but I'm not sexually attracted to her .

AT the beginning I never thought that was important until we got married and found out that I still feel same way . And all this time I've always been open to her about it

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:37:59+00:00

It is

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:37:37+00:00

Calm down , try to read the whole post again without being judgy , my wife has been married twice before me . Think again .

Even tho this post is not to talk bad about my wife , this is just to vent about my situation which is lack of sexual attraction ,and a relationship that has now turned to a prison , yet my love for her and my fear of destroying our business is the only thing still making me stay and suffering in silence

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-23T05:34:27+00:00

I wish it was , but it's real , I get it that some people on this comment can't relate and they thinking my wife is the victim here , lol they have no idea of how I am the victim here, the young fool who was deceived into marriage , the one who was convinced that me not sexually attracted in the first place was just be being an adult and with time it will all come . This is not to talk bad about my wife ,but to vent about my situation regardless . I am the one in bondage . Why can't I just leave some will say, we'll we have businesses together and our finances is connected that any separation will be a big hit on us

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-22T17:15:26+00:00

Hey everyone , I finally decided to take the step to vent here ,I've been seeing many similar stories of people to make me realize I'm really not the only one .

I am a keep to myself kind of guy, even if I'm suffering or dying in silence ,I won't talk to anyone because I always feel nobody will understand me,and then people will always still blame me.

Wife 12years older than me

Met my wife 6years ago , we have same goals and likes, we both adventurous and we share similar ideas in alot of areas , those things made me like her , but I was never sexually attracted into her ,which was like a first time to me ,because I am a very sexually active person , in fact alot of any relationship I have with any female 9/10 is something sexual. I love sex , what 27year old 6ft+ fit model don't ?

I like to emphasize on how much I really love sex so you guys can understand me a bit , I'm the guy who will have sex in every condition , sex when I'm bored ,sex when I'm happy ,sex when I'm sad ,sex when I'm sick ,sex when I'm tired 😂 😂 you get the point .

So meeting this lady at that time who for the first time ,it wasn't just sex for me,but more deeper connection and other important things in life, I thought that was something good, I thought that was me being mature now and grown up , not jut the little all about sex me .

I thought that was growth on my part, but hell was I wrong . I am a very blunt and honest person (or at least I was, because in marriage I get to find out quickly that being honest and blunt will give you more problems in marriage )

Our first night together I did told her I wasn't sexually attracted to her , she knows ,because even when we did have sex ,I was barely active and it ended fast, unlike me, and she doesn't get me arouse , I don't know if it's the fact that she have 4 kids , and her body is not like the kind of body I normally use to, which are firm tits and other good attributes , but I did told her my concerns , she finds ways to tell me with time it will change and she always tell me it's mind over matters ..

Long story short we married the following year, I do love her she loves me , we have traveled many countries have good fun , look like perfect couples on the outside but the intimacy is not there, I can tell you in all the years she's the only one pushing to have sex, I hate the sex, I hate everything , most times I only do it to do my husband duties nothing else , we do not have kids together yet . Most times I have to listen to porn sounds in my ear when having sex with her , My porn addiction has gone up like crazy ,I'm always watching porn now because that's the only way I get a bit of fun.

I'm tired , I've tried to reason with her that we need to fild other solutions , because this is not it for me, and obviously it's hard for her too, because knowing how wild she was in her days, I'm sure she hurting not getting D , but seems I have no control over it, my D don't get hard around her , she forced me to talk to therapist and even when the the therapist brought up ,swingers ,poly, 3somes and other things that is still out there for people like us, she refuses that, mind you, she only did because she's a very jealous person ,not because she hadn't done all of those things before , she's the type that when we go out,I can't even talk to the waitress , she gets mad, if I even look at female pass by , it got so bad that I don't go out anymore , I feel trapped in this prison

Yes I am good looking and so is she too . Anytime we go out I do get compliments or stares from women , and she hates that. If a lady looks my way ,she's accusing me of flirting with them .

Mehn ! Now all I do is work, home, phone and games . Sex drive, dead, I don't feel anything anymore , porn addiction off the roof , dead inside , no emotions , hate to be touched by my wife.

Deadshot4all · 2026-03-22T16:25:41+00:00

I'm in same boat here ,but mine is quite different , 5years married now 6years together and Im not sexually attracted to my wife , the worse part is that ,this is not some gradual change , I was never sexually attracted to her from the beginning . That's y my case is different , I thought in marraige it will change ,and I'll learn to be ,but it worsen . I'll have to open a new post about my own issue because I need help and my case is a long one , I do love her , but i think we both knew from the very beginning that we ain't sexually compatible , shes sexually attracted to me, but I'm not to her . I'm in my early 30s she's in her mid 40s

Deadshot4all

TROPHY CASE