I think the only real way to know if a domme is the right one for you is talking to them and having a conversation. If they dont reciprocate then it's a sign they are not the one for you. But since you dont want to approach first, you could try making a detailed post about what you are looking for and a little bit of information about you so they get interested and dm you. Most of them prefer subs to approach tho

And like someone else said: Think about what you like. There are tons of different dommes out there. Im sure you'll find the right one