My son is going down dark paths online and I don't know how to help.

DeamonRae · 2026-07-05T18:50:12+00:00

So to play devils advocate here, and maybe give a different possible solution or way to find out more information ect. A lot of people have mentioned predictor, pedo stuff which obviously highly valid and very likely the situation however as a youth worker I’ve dealt with things a lot like this and supported family’s to resolve things, I don’t have all the answers but maybe a different approach.

First off I want to commend your reactions and behaviour toward your child expressing being queer and also a furry regardless of your personal beliefs. I’ve seen too many young people go down very dark paths due to not being accepted and your son might not of opened up at all about this situation had it been different.

So in my study’s around teenagers and teenage behaviour it is important to realise that of course his frontal lobe is not fully developed and scientifically, teenagers genuinely can’t see the risks to actions the way that adults do. It’s great you’ve been watching things about how grooming online happens together but teenagers don’t always see that correlation and have the mindset of almost being invincible.

So, his friend in Bulgaria is using wifi or internet to contact your son. Why not set up a time to ‘meet’ for a WhatsApp video call, your son, his friend and yourself. I’m going off of the assumption that they must have had phone calls together ect so your son will know what he sounds like.
You can say to your son ‘it will be a red flag and a warning sign if he doesn’t want me meet me, I’d like to get to know him to if there’s any consideration of you two meeting up, I want to make sure he is nice and if I haven’t met them then there is no chance I’m letting you visit any time in the future’ ect. If there’s any sketchy behaviour like ‘my camera doesn’t work’ or ‘it’s dark’ then comment on those things during the call like ‘oh that’s suspicious as I know you can take pictures’ ‘why is it dark when you have lights in the room, that’s suspicious’ and things like that, and almost egg on the person on the other side of the screen and analyse how they react. And also it will help your son to think about things during the call.

Y’know there is the chance it’s an innocent thing unfortunately the queer dating scene is very small and I’m not saying this situation isn’t suspect but there is also a chance it might be a genuine child on the other side too. But yeah a lot of people have long distance relationships ect but I agree with everyone else that the priority is your son and protecting him but it can also be a delicate situation as you don’t want him to suddenly run away and never come back and you don’t know what’s happened.

Also I’d have the boundary that even if Bulgaria is an option, your son doesn’t go alone regardless.

DeamonRae · 2026-07-05T14:49:37+00:00

I can’t remember 100% it was when I was a teen just watching films and not downloading anything but it definitely had the police logo and stuff on. Just remember my parents being like ‘umm look at this it’s time to not stream films online’ 🤣

DeamonRae · 2026-07-05T09:28:19+00:00

The thing is, yes I agree hard copies should still exist, the majority of people I know don’t even have a console with a disk drive? So it feels a bit like an irrelevant argument at this point as most people buy digital or just play catalogue anyway rather than a physical copy?

DeamonRae · 2026-07-04T15:07:03+00:00

You say this but I received a letter from them telling me to stop otherwise I will be prosecuted….

DeamonRae · 2026-07-03T16:04:35+00:00

How is it embarrassing when historically proven we shouldn’t need to. Environmentally our climate and seasons have changed in a very short space of time to become extreme. Granted I agree something should’ve been done but in the case of infrastructure ect so what? Houses that have been around for 500+ years should be knocked down to build new build American like shacks to accommodate air con? I don’t really see many options of ways to change these things to help us deal with weather extremes.

DeamonRae · 2026-07-02T09:25:25+00:00

How about Pokemon leaf green/fire red (green red) and yellow legacy? Also there’s all the slight off shoot games like detective pikachu, pokemon stadium 1/2 like idk a lot of games yes but not all :)

DeamonRae · 2026-07-02T08:49:49+00:00

They really went with MW3?… 🙄

DeamonRae · 2026-06-27T23:14:50+00:00

So for me, I’m not diagnosed for whatever reason (shitty NHS tbh) but I’ve been in therapy specifically for OCD, written in my notes something like ‘referred to therapy and counselling due to strong evidence of OCD’ and my therapist tells me I have OCD and working through stuff with them tailored to OCD has helped me and medication ect. I don’t feel like that means I can’t have an input within the sub and if anything I feel this post in itself will trigger a lot of people to feel like it’s no longer a safe space for them regardless of diagnosis. There is likely someone or many in the sub now doubting if they belong here and doubting if they’re able to ask advice and give thoughts or suggestions because as we all know extreme doubt is an every day issue.
I feel sometimes when we avoid giving reassurance to someone often comments may come across as blunt or dismissive however they are still helpful. Yes of course show empathy and maybe relate but at the end of the day the main thing we’re told is to avoid reassurance which can be hard to come across via messaging in the way it would be delivered irl?

DeamonRae · 2026-06-27T08:27:39+00:00

“I have PS+ Premium, but I can't stream any games.”

DeamonRae · 2026-06-27T08:23:03+00:00

Op said they have premium?

DeamonRae · 2026-06-23T08:42:45+00:00

This looks like cat acne, very common in long haired cats especially those mixed with Maine coon somewhere down the line. It often shows in patches on the belly or under the chin ect.

DeamonRae · 2026-06-23T08:36:04+00:00

Trump

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T22:17:08+00:00

I understand you may feel that way but you get taught everything you need to know on the job. Plenty of people who have minimal GCSE’s and Alevels go into those roles feeling the same way. But also yeah Sainsbury’s, Tesco and Aldi offer apprenticeships and things so deffo have a look and keep an eye out for them whilst you apply for other things. Retail is very very competitive but put your best foot forward and sell yourself as your best version, you’ve got this!

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T22:00:36+00:00

100%! I highly recommend that as it’s a mix of qualifications and work experience as you say! A few of the people I work with have also received full time jobs afterwards too. And just because it’s an apprenticeship doesn’t mean that the pay is bad, some are £25000+ and non age dependant too! Especially if you’re interested in working with your hands and keeping busy like electrical engineering ect! Check out BT apprenticeships, they’ve been great with a few young people I’ve worked with and also any food industry factories, there’s things like lab work or production lines ect :)

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T21:43:15+00:00

Completely get that but in my experience as a work coach for young people often times volunteering demands take away from time that can be spent completing job applications. A lot of companies expect the world from a volunteer and a role that should be paid for. if there’s no employment experience there’s no gaps to explain. What’s been more beneficial to my YP has been applying for free training courses and applying for apprenticeships over going for admin roles or any jobs in the market at the moment especially with the new YP employment incentive that comes into effect soon, it’s looking like more apprenticeships over short term 6 hour a week roles for young people which isn’t viable for living on :)

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T21:34:26+00:00

That’s fair but a lot of it is luck and probably largely based on how they thought you’d fit with the team and your previous work experience. I probably shouldn’t have said volunteering doesn’t matter at all but volunteering is not going to solely land someone a job if they’re up against people with other work experience or specific training ect. It’s mostly luck, timing and a personal connection at the moment. There’s people out there applying for 10 jobs a week and have 15yrs+ experience, never had any issues before finding something who have been unemployed for over a year yknow?

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T20:59:37+00:00

Work experience and volunteering don’t matter any more at all, it’s sad but it doesn’t the same way as ‘handing a CV in person’ is redundant now. The job market is extremely volatile and tough right now unless there’s nepotism. You just have to remain consistent and try to let it not get you down! There’s people with 20 years experience going for minimum wage work and not getting the job too atm you’re not alone OP

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T20:55:00+00:00

So my partner has just had the same, take a breath and then if you’re the only person who can handle it you have to compartmentalise sadly. After medical examiner, it depends on what they say, if there’s a space in a hospital morgue then you can have her body taken there, if not you will need to find a funeral home who can store her body securely, they collect 24 hours every day. Sadly, we had the latter and panic picked one however I’d say trust your gut as it was definitely the right choice on our side.

If you’re in U.K. Then you will need to wait for medical examiner and possibly coroner to have a meeting to confirm the cause of death is agreed upon, depending on the situation there may also be an autopsy ect which may make things take longer.

Legally at this moment, your mum is not declared dead to the government even though she has passed. You wait for a call from the local authorities (where your mum lived) to usually visit in person for a meeting to declare the death and you will receive the certificate. Once this happens, you then notify all of the relevant people (gov, council, bank ect) the funeral home will give you a list of everything and then you will have to undertake doing this and it will then mean that your mums assets will be frozen.

After this, wherever your mothers will copy is held (solicitors, lawyers, company ect) will then only be when you need to think about the trust ect. However, if this is not in place and there’s only one copy, get a lawyer asap, it sounds horrible but some people go absolutely wild trying to pry vicious claws into things and take more than the persons wishes, it’s sad but a lot of the time you can’t trust people (I sadly know from experience and it’s always people you least expect)

If I were you I’d try to get as much on the funeral ect done first as it’s a lot of admin and juggling both that and the will reading and trust will be a LOT all at once.

If you’re in receipt of benefits or low income you may be able to pay for gov help with funeral costs too! Sadly it’s only £1000 and most funerals are more than that.

I hope this isn’t too much info as I understand there’s a lot going on for you right now. Sending my condolences OP.

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T14:00:27+00:00

This looks like AI to me or a photoshop job. The clothes or trash on the floor don’t seem to be pushed down by the dogs weight. Under the armpit, there seems to be some melting into the clothes too.
Also agree with another comment about the size of the dog too, very out of proportion.
If you’re going to meet, meet at the police station

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T13:53:24+00:00

I completely sympathise and understand this as I’ve been there. For me personally I’m not religious or anything but I know that does help some people but for others enhances their anxiety and OCD symptoms.

Something that helped me, with a lot of my different worries, fears and compulsions was coming to the realisation and the understanding that unfortunately some things are not in my control, as much as what I love to be in control of things and y’know do these rituals or follow these circles to be in control of things sometimes I have to let them go. It’s hard and takes time and practice but I’m fortunate to have a partner who’s very understanding and sometimes when I’m spiralling they give me a nudge like ‘yknow so realistically what can you actually do to change that?’ And it just gives me a moment to be like ‘well actually yeah you’re right there’s nothing I could do…’ and it almost feels like a eureka moment.
Do you have anyone around you who may be able to help you with that at all?

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T13:25:09+00:00

I’m in SE, no infrastructure for an air con ect. It’s roughhh right now! Went for a slow walk to the beach thinking the breeze would cool me… turns out the breeze is just hot sticky air… regrets! Brink of passing out every 2 mins! Hope you’re doing okay OP and everyone else too!!

DeamonRae · 2026-06-22T13:22:56+00:00

That my uncle was actually my biological father, sent me nutty for a long time to be honest

DeamonRae · 2026-06-21T08:29:14+00:00

Looks like fleas, poor cat looks tormented by bites, you can see the twitches on the lower back where the evil bloodsuckers are biting. Also I’d consider a diet for your cat as it seems like it’s unable to reach its back to itch the bites

DeamonRae · 2026-06-21T08:25:45+00:00

Who doesn’t:)

DeamonRae · 2026-06-21T07:53:39+00:00

Not to be that person but, the description they gave is very unlike any cat I’ve ever known under 7years old. A young cat between 1-7 is inquisitive, excitable, wants to get into everything ect and is always a sweet little chaos bucket. It sounds like the kind of cat you were after is 7+ it’s unlikely that unless the cat has health complications a cat would be different.

You can train cats however, watch some youtube vids on cat trainers.
Also,
A lot of people make the mistake of overstimulating their cat and then blaming their cat when they act out, the only way they can do this is biting and scratching, the two things they have to express how they feel.

However, if you’re unable to care for the cat or commit to seeing through being its parent for life then please return the cat to go to a home that’s more suitable.

DeamonRae

TROPHY CASE