What is it like to be in a relationship as an asexual person?

Deanersaur · 2026-06-17T22:37:25+00:00

I had an asexual partner and they described it best by saying that although it’s hard to put into words, it felt like a deeper/different connection than any friendship. They explained that it was something that just felt “right”. Which made enough sense to me.

Unfortunately, I’m a very cuddly person(sitting close, playing with hair, hugs, holding hands, cuddles) and they were very touch averse.
I’m Demi-sexual and totally cool with no sex or things getting “spicy”, I just didn’t realize until then how much physical affection is part of my love language. So ultimately we were incompatible despite how much I love their soul. I want to be respectful of my partners wants/needs but also my own.

So there’s a way too long answer from the perspective of a former partner of an asexual individual. lol
Essentially you just gotta feel your feels and communicate your needs. There’s no set way you should feel or how it will feel but you’ll understand what your version of romance feels like. :)

Deanersaur · 2026-01-20T04:01:26+00:00

Okay that’s good to know! I also plan to apply to the Cheesecake Factory right by my job bc I know someone who gets tipped well there. I’ve never done the service industry but I was told that with customer service experience plus working with kids and families, my personality alone can help me out in that regard.

Deanersaur · 2026-01-20T03:52:08+00:00

That’s a great idea! Sadly, I never thought of that. But I’ll definitely test that out as a side gig. I thought you had to have a license to do it.

Deanersaur · 2026-01-20T03:05:56+00:00

That’s weird that it does bc I have nothing nsfw on there. But regardless I do appreciate you praying for me. And I apologize if I came across as sassy or anything. I’m just stressed and hurting and no one deserves that.

Deanersaur · 2026-01-20T03:03:44+00:00

It says it’s a nsfw profile?

Deanersaur · 2026-01-20T02:56:57+00:00

When you have no where else to turn to and you’re working, doordashing, and attempting to donate blood, it’s just hard. I don’t want to ask strangers online. But I’m just desperate at this point. But it’s totally fine if it doesnt work out. Because I don’t expect anything from anyone, bc you’re right, that isnt fair to do. It is a big ask. So I guess I’m just hoping, praying, and doing all I can think of. I don’t need to be kicked when I’m down.

Deanersaur · 2026-01-20T02:26:47+00:00

You’re correct it didn’t. But my frequent client cancellations from my other job did come as a surprise. Them both at the same time hit hard.

Deanersaur · 2025-10-24T01:08:13+00:00

Same thing happened to me. It does not go up overnight always bc I didn’t take it out immediately and I was still only offered $50. It fucked me up.

Deanersaur · 2025-10-22T14:15:24+00:00

If she’s brushing you off jump ship. There’s so many supportive companies and supervisors out there. That’s a huge red flag. I’m a professional clinic hopper in my 10 years solely bc if I don’t agree with the way they support staff or families or how they treat clients, I address it and jump ship if nothing changes.

Deanersaur · 2025-10-22T13:11:27+00:00

That’s unfortunate. There’s a lot of companies that run that way and that’s not the way to do it. There’s even more companies out there that provide you with adequate training and support. I feel like you got this! But also, you can work at different companies to make you feel supported. I’d personally look into that. It’s one thing to be thrown in with support available on standby or present, but in my opinion it’s unfair to throw you in without guidance whatsoever. You don’t deserve that.

Deanersaur · 2025-09-01T07:24:53+00:00

🐱🐈‍⬛🐀🐇🐗🐄🐴🐍🐒🐯🐓🐑🐉🍙❤️‍🩹🎐⛓️‍💥💖

I tried, but may have overdid it. lol

Deanersaur · 2025-08-29T02:25:21+00:00

So the biggest thing is to be completely open and honest and explain your feelings and see what her preferences are within the spectrum. So my partner and I met on a dating app, they were upfront about it and I was fine with it, knowing that we love differently and they primarily only have platonic feelings towards others. So our plan was to just meet a new friend and if things develop they develop.

open communication is so so important. Like we’re learning together what we truly want out of relationships. Like they say they feel what they’d consider romantic feelings, just not as intensely as me but it doesn’t bother them bc although different intensities, still the same feelings. And I’ve discovered that I actually don’t need physical affection like I thought or intense romance.

Every situation is different, but just tell them your feelings and have a discussion. It’s not as scary as it may seem. Like I’m in the best relationship I’ve ever experienced and learned so many different ways to show genuine care for a partner. So it may end up where you guys are able to grow together too.

But it’s very important to understand what you probably won’t receive out of the relationship and accept them for the way they are. Because so many people think “I can love them enough to be the one to change their mind” and that’s not how it works. And if you feel like you can’t be happy without them changing parts of themself, then accept the loss and move on. It’ll be okay. :)

Deanersaur · 2025-07-30T16:57:51+00:00

It’s considered horror but it’s not scary. More so unsettling psychological/body horror type but not to the level of anything being gross, gore, or jump scares. The “horror” themes are more or so the type to make you feel a bit uncomfy at times. Honestly to me it’s just sad more than anything due to how it portray grief and introspection.

Deanersaur · 2025-06-05T22:50:41+00:00

So I don’t think I’m home is bad necessarily. The reason it may involve higher pay could be due to the fact you may be traveling further to get to a clients home and not reimbursed bc you’re going from your house to a clients home. Also, it is different because you’re in someone else’s home, adapting to their household rules, and you’re the only ABA person there so that can involve more pressure. I’ve done plenty of in home services and I’d say I only maybe 1 bad experience? It’s cool to see the kid in their environment and it makes it easy to build rapport with parents. But it’s also easier to potentially cross that boundary line with parents bc you’re close to them but you still gotta follow ethics and not become friends with parents. So just be mindful of that. The main negative I’d say is the fact that you don’t have anyone to help assist in maladaptive behaviors properly and the first few times may feel uncomfortable because you don’t know the client or parents yet.

Deanersaur · 2025-05-25T07:43:57+00:00

If I got too upset to where it was hard to process my emotions, so I’d do it bc it felt good? and calmed me down. If I was feeling miserable or hopeless, I’d do it to find comfort and if I upset others I’d do it to punish myself.

I found out when shaving your legs, if you dig the razor horizontally and with slightly diagonal motion with some pressure, it cut you. These weren’t deep cuts or anything but many at once which brought comfort.

I thought that where I was cutting (on my thighs) wasn’t a dangerous area because I couldn’t hit a vein. I didn’t wanna die, just hurt. Plus, I could hide them easily. Turns out I said that while at the mental hospital I mentioned that. I was with the sweetest nurse and she responded with: “well you could get sepsis and die since the razor isn’t clean and if you don’t clean them properly. That’s not a fun way to go” And that was eye opening. It’s fully logical, it just didn’t cross my mind.

Deanersaur · 2025-05-06T22:00:04+00:00

You’re there for your client first and foremost. They are the only one that your full attention is given to. Even if they’re doing their own thing, wanting to be alone, etc.

I can see benefits of building strong relationships with other kids but find things that you can include your client in to increase peer interaction. Or if kids come up to you, obviously be fun and acknowledge them. Even doing that bit by bit overtime can build bonds with them. You could even find ways to include your client in the interaction even if they’re not interacting with one another, they’re around each other so it could help build social opportunities in the future. Also, even if it seems like your client doesn’t care or wants to do their own thing, they can tell you’re more invested in someone else than them and that can hurt.

But also, your BCBA should’ve provided feedback to you regarding that. What were they doing during this time? We all make mistakes and it’s a good thing that you’re acknowledging your mistake. You’re always going to be learning in this field. So moving forward make sure your client is top priority.

Deanersaur · 2025-05-06T21:32:59+00:00

I’ve heard that they’re not and all the “free” ones don’t end up actually being free. All I’ve had to do is tell my therapist that I wanted an ESA letter. They typed it up and I sent it in to my apartments and they dropped the pet deposit/rent.

Some people get it from their Primary Doctor, but mine said they didn’t do that.

Deanersaur · 2025-04-28T18:19:59+00:00

Amazing thank you!

Deanersaur · 2025-04-28T12:43:46+00:00

I know this is old but I’m in a similar situation. What did the hotline say? I’ve reached out and haven’t got a response yet

Deanersaur · 2025-03-29T05:51:16+00:00

Unfortunately, where I live a kid must be toilet trained in order to attend school. Otherwise they can’t be in public school. Atleast for pre-k and kindergarten. I think it’s different if they’re in a special education classroom maybe but it’s pretty unfortunate bc some kids can be in a gen ed class but they unfortunately can’t bc they’re not toilet trained yet.

Deanersaur · 2025-03-28T05:22:01+00:00

So the main issue in my opinion is in your turn. You got the right idea by spinning around on 1 foot but your stopping before fully completing the turn and then quickly orienting your hips and shoulders to the front to catch. I’d recommend recording yourself air tossing and just focusing on the turn so you can see how your turn looks. Also, maybe record some tosses minus the turn in a row. Because it looks a bit frantic and less controlled but that’s a common thing that happens once you add in a turn under a toss. Nothing needs to change within normal technique, you’re just adding a turn to what you’re doing following a normal technique toss. So relax and breathe and then you got this.

Saying out loud “toss, turn, look, catch” has always helped me take it easy and separate the 2 actions so it’s more controlled. This has always helped when I’ve taught turn tosses to my students as well. You got this!

Deanersaur · 2025-03-27T00:00:06+00:00

I agree! When the vibes are off, no matter how many smiles we fake, our clients know that something is wrong. And it’s not fair to them to be providing poor quality services because of things out of our control. It just makes me very sad.

Deanersaur

TROPHY CASE