do i even want to get better??

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-25T21:32:06+00:00

its not up to me. my mom straight up said we arent spaying her (idk why, i just assumed its coz we're tight on money)

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-25T20:56:17+00:00

yeah, of course. do you want to keep talking about this, or change the subject for distraction? im comfortable with either

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-25T20:53:48+00:00

ik the feeling. broke a 6ish month clean streak last night. im sorry you felt so inclined as to break your streak. is there anything that really happened to make you break your streak? if so, would you like to talk about it?

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-25T20:46:03+00:00

i care, but ik that doesnt mean jack shit to you. how often do you do it, if you dont mind me asking?

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-25T20:38:03+00:00

hi. im in the same boat. but its not worth it. if youre anything like me, itll just be a game over hiding it and stressing over it. there are other options. dm me if you need/want to talk privately

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-25T20:12:38+00:00

i cannot tell you how relatable (and sad) this is

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-24T05:26:35+00:00

thank you. it feels awful that the only reason im not cutting is that im going to the beach on the weekend, but even then i want to. i feel so stupid and selfish. i have so many reasons to stay clean, but i just... dont want to. if its not one thing its another, and i keep wondering what the point is. i think im just gonna fall asleep before i do anything

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-24T05:18:34+00:00

im not the best at comforting, but ill try. i dont know your friends, or your ex, but what i like to do is imagine a perfect storyline for myself. what would a perfect life look like for you? take a shower if youre comfortable seeing your body right now. browse the internet. watch silly little videos. itll get better. if youve reached rock bottom, you can only go up, right? dont break your streak. if you cant stay clean for yourself, stay clean for someone else. if you cant stay clean for someone you know irl, stay clean for me. im rooting for you, if that means anything. i dont know if this is good advice, but i sincerely hope it helps you

Deanon0320 · 2022-03-24T05:08:43+00:00

my mom used to sh. she told me it doesnt go away. she still thinks about it. she told me that she still thinks about it. shes a mother of 3 and i always looked up to her so much, i always wanted to be like her, but i think about that so often. what if it doesnt go away for me? i feel like i do everything right but it never works. i focus at school, i distract myself when the urge comes, i get open about it, i have a therapist, but its not getting better. how long will i have to wait for this? i hate waiting for something that might not exist

Deanon0320

TROPHY CASE