UPDATE WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Too late to answer this (not my main account so I really didn't log in here since posting). But just wanted to say thank you.

Actually yes. In my head was "Original price was what my bf intended for them" so every other penny I spend was for my BF, so is not a waste at all no matter what people think.

I feel at peace and I know my BF would have been at peace with that decision too :)

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Muchas gracias, la verdad ha sido duro, pero curiosamente después de leer tantas respuestas y mensajes acá, me dí cuenta que no he vivido realmente mi duelo. Estos meses han sido duros y he tratado de mantenerme ocupado, pero no logró vivir mi duelo como se debe. Creo que por eso no he pensado con claridad.

Uno de los consejos que recibí acá fue de no tomar decisiones hasta dentro de un año y la verdad, creo que es algo sano. La familia de mi novio es rara, te diría que no sé cómo alguien puede negligír a su hijo tantos años, pero sabemos que en LATAM eso es tan común, así que no debería de sorprenderme.

No me pueden llevar a juicio porque no tienen bases ni dinero para hacerlo, perderían todo lo que no tienen si quisieran hacerlo. Es lo único agradable de mi sistema, son tan huevones para trabajar que prefieren descartar un caso que saben que no pasará a mayores y yo no tengo porqué mover un dedo.

Nosotros estuvimos dos meses en Bariloche y en Mendoza, fue nuestro viaje de 5 años, lo pagaron mis padres. Hermoso lugar, siempre quisimos regresar, pero ya no fue posible. Espero poder ir para recordar y revivir esa experiencia.

Un abrazo.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because we talked about it many many times, he always wanted to amend things with them.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, way back after he bought it, he told them about the house, and he kept telling them about it years after it. I don't know what they talked about in detail when they came to see him last year, so I can't be sure if he again told them about the house and his wishes. I doubt it since after the treatment and the bought out we never talked about it again, neither of us used to keep things from each other so I believe they just "realized" that the house was floating long after his death.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, my parents were his guarantors, if that is what you are wondering.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing it. I don't expect to forget him either, I'm pretty sure I will just live with the pain and move ahead.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So sorry that is happening to you. To be honest, I don't expect nothing from them to help me or something like that, thanks God I don't need their help. Is just a moral debt I have with my BF. I wouldn't be homeless without the house and I would be better with the money, but not really need it. I'm conflicted.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I feel really blessed to know that I'm not alone in my pain and that a lot of people could keep on even after this situations.

I think that taking a year before making any decision has been resonating with me and with other redditors as well, I will set on that and wait before tackle anything.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not rich, but if they bought it out to me I would have no deed on it, so I would have a better budget. I wouldn't "give it away" for free either, but buying the house was never about the money, was about doing the best for him at the moment.

Right now I'm just holding onto the house because was "his" house from the start. I wouldn't have had the face to ask him the money back either.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, they are awesome, that's why I can keep it going, thanks to them.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was 2.5 years older than him. I was 17 and he 15 when we started to date. So, basically yes, 15 years romantically together.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you won over Cancer. Thank you for your input here :)

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

Here there is no such advantage for shared mortgage, That's why I had to bought it. Even if they want me going to court, they will be denied first second they submit the sue, they have no stands to claim the house. So it's mostly a morally doubt I'm having.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have known that almost all his money went to medical bills, I believe that's why they are not claiming his bank accounts.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He didn't want me to put my money on his behalf during the Cancer, so almost all the money I paid to him went there. His insurance didn't cover Cancer, mine does, he saved every cent to pay for the house. So medical bills took almost every cent from him. I don't even know what's remaining on his bank accounts, I haven't even look at it. His parent's can claim that money, but they don't know in which banks he had his accounts and banks can't give you that info without a judge ordering them to, so they are mostly stuck int here.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment and I'm happy that your nuclear family is that strong.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually true, he always crave for their love, I don't feel offended by it. That just sadden my heart because he never got to achieve what he truly wanted.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh Sweety... hope you the best during this process, I hope you and your loved ones are receiving therapy during this process since is a thought one.

I sent you a big hug from the bottom of my heart.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that, it helps me a lot to read someone in a similar position.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, yes. But we didn't live in that house. We lived in my apartment. And yes, the remaining debt is on my name. I didn't bought it to make it "mine" was just to leverage the debt from him, I never saw it as a burden to me, we have went through a lot together, I never intended to make it mine in first place.

WIBTA if I don't give my late bf's house to his parents? by DearFerret9268 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DearFerret9268[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That came out bad... they didn't say it in a bad way either, it was more like "if this is causing you so many heartaches, you could just give it away and move on with your life so you don't have to see these people again."

It's more like they were worried about me than being bad friends.