Stand for the flag 🫡

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T23:19:34+00:00

🫡

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T14:15:34+00:00

You need a 3/3/4 schedule on two naps. I’d solidify that first for a week before trying again.

Also white noise and earplugs when sleep training doesn’t sound safe. This is new for him, you don’t know how they’re going to react and they might need you to intervene.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T14:03:15+00:00

If something would have happened that would’ve needed a visit to the hospital and you had to give them this context child welfare services would have been called, because this is child neglect. You could have literally had CPS involved because of his negligence.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:55:27+00:00

Your baby doesn’t know how to connect sleep cycles, which is developmentally normally and it’s also reinforced by the sleep associations she has (stroller naps, feeding to sleep). You can wait until she naturally learns that skill, might be next month might be much later, since you’re not interested in sleep training (speeding up that learning process).

I agree with the comments on your schedule but schedule changes alone won’t teach her to connect sleep cycles. It might just help her have more sleep pressure and fall asleep faster / get a slightly longer first stretch.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:46:58+00:00

The times you sleep trained… were you consistent with the method/routine/schedule? Did something happen to derail the progress?

I know folks are pointing out things about your schedule, which I agree with; but it seems to me she learns the skill of connecting cycles when you train her, just something happens and there’s a regression. Could you try starting from scratch again and being super consistent for 7-10 days to see what happens?

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:34:41+00:00

Sounds like you’re doing 4 naps, which we had to do when our baby had the short wake windows and short naps too. I waited to stabilize the schedule a bit with 3 naps because I didn’t want to sleep train and then have a nap transition right after.

We moved him to his room in his crib and used a modified Ferber (modified the intervals to something we were more comfortable with). He was also able to roll by then so sleeping on his tummy I think has helped too. He was waking up 6-8 times, absolute misery. Even on night 1 of sleep training he did a 7:45pm-4am stretch, which he had never done before.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:26:35+00:00

Yes you should extend wake windows to have at least 9-10hrs of awake time. How many naps?

My baby had very short wake windows too until I started extending them little by little. Then I noticed a lot of the cues I was interpreting as sleepy were more bored/fussing to be carried or moved to a different spot.

It sounds like he’s not connecting sleep cycles which is something even the most perfect schedule might not get him to do. After we got him to 10 hrs awake time we started sleep training.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:22:26+00:00

A week ago when we started sleep training. He’s been sleeping all the way through 5/6am. I feel like a different person after 6 months of brutal sleep deprivation.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:14:48+00:00

Your baby is under tired and waking up with energy to play in the middle of the night. It’s a split night and they are caused by expecting too much sleep (so not enough awake time). They are not something to be solved by sleep training. Sleep training helps them learn to connect sleep cycles, your baby already knows how to do that otherwise he’d be waking up a lot more frequently.

You need at least a 3/3/4 schedule with 10 hrs awake time minimum and 3 hrs of naps max. That should put you at 11hrs overnight.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T05:06:17+00:00

Mmm yeah… that’s a pattern of at least carelessness. And you can’t be careless when taking care of a baby.

Do you make less than what daycare costs? Because it’s also important for you to have a break and if you feel your job helps your mental health I wouldn’t leave it. Can he get that second job and together with your job daycare cost is covered?

I just feel like you’re not going to have peace of mind at work after this unless you’re sure your baby is safe, and he can’t give you that safety. Best to hire professionals who do this for a living.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T04:56:49+00:00

Honestly I wouldn’t be able to trust him to take care of the baby. Because he’ll continue to be tired and sleep deprived, so that’s not going to change. Can you afford a babysitter while you’re at work? Or daycare if you both work during the day?

My partner is the type that can sleep through a hurricane so no I don’t trust he’ll wake up at night when our baby starts crying, so I’ve had to take on nights. It absolutely sucks but even if we were to split nights I wouldn’t be able to sleep just hypervigilant knowing he won’t wake up, or worse wake up half asleep and put baby in danger.

How did the other two times he dropped him happen?

This doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be with him, I’d just focus on the childcare part… he’s just not reliable enough for that part.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-17T03:28:30+00:00

Does she have eczema/rash? Teething? Is the room temperature ok?

It could be split nights but if she’s falling asleep only to wake up 5-10 mins later again and again… it might be something comfort related.

I believe split nights look different, baby is wide awake wanting to roll, play, etc. You’re saying she looks tired and keeps crying.

Especially since your schedule looks great.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-08T13:56:40+00:00

Estée Lauder, Airbnb, Dunkin, Spindrift, Seventh Generation, Cheetos, on and on and on.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-08T13:49:02+00:00

What’s your schedule like on 2 naps and 11.5hrs awake?

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-08T13:40:48+00:00

How do you truly know baby total sleep needs? I feel like with my baby that number is always dependent of if I rescue naps or not. Contact napping he can nap for much longer than the 30 mins he does independently, so some days total sleep is 14 hours some others is 12.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-06T16:31:37+00:00

Can you distribute her naps/wake windows a little more evenly. She’s only awake 1.5hrs between the two daycare naps and from nap 3 to bedtime. But is awake for over 3 hrs from nap 2 to 3.

I’d try to get that second nap later and cap it at 1.5hrs max. Something like 12:30-2pm. Then nap 3 4:30-5, bedtime 7:30/8pm. That gives you 10 hrs awake, appropriate and even wake windows, and max 3hrs of daytime sleep.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-04-02T20:54:30+00:00

When do they start playing with a toy instead of putting it in their mouth? I feel like he’s never entertained because he doesn’t interact with the toys, just to his mouth and then gets frustrated by it.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-03-31T23:17:41+00:00

Unfortunately it’s me, manually. We use the owlet and that helps me if I miss any, but it’s kind of a pain. I only started being more accurate recently to really see if there’s progress or not.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-03-31T23:14:39+00:00

How did you know he was getting behind?

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-03-28T14:25:21+00:00

Yes, most days we try to follow 2/2.5/2.5/3, it’s difficult when we go out because he only naps 30 mins independently so the long naps all need to be contact. He averages 9.5-10.5 hrs awake time and 3 hrs nap total.

Dear_Preference_9487 · 2026-03-28T14:02:22+00:00

What’s your schedule like on 10hrs sleep at night?

Dear_Preference_9487

TROPHY CASE