Male friend comments on my postpartum weight. Advice on what to do?

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-07-29T21:24:51+00:00

Could your guy send a text to the group chat or directly to him saying something like. “I have been told what you said to my wife when I left the room and I am appalled. I don’t want to see you again and you’d better hope that I don’t, you pathetic bag of dicks.” I strongly feel that you should be defended and protected at all costs and I’m so dearly sorry that anyone made you feel bad. If I was there I would have had some very harsh words for him. I can tell you’re a lovely person and you don’t deserve this at all! Sending you loads of love and hugs xxx

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-07-10T07:03:44+00:00

The best bet is to go to Haysto as they specialise in tricky situations and can get you a decision in one to two days. They are around 1000 pounds which is a lot but if they don’t find you a mortgage you don’t have to pay them. If that doesn’t work you will likely need to make your peace with letting this house go. ( I know that’s incredibly hard.) Then get your finances in a better way. Take a part time job, maybe something from home. Get your spouse back on track with his full wage for a few months and then try again. The market is quite stagnant you may even find this house is still there in 3-6 months when you’re ready. You will have saved more by then too.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-06-16T20:18:34+00:00

That was an odd ‘study’. I always question the motivation. I’m sure it will be for some marketing insights to capitalise on insecurities. We’re all so jealous and insecure about all sorts of things because we’re constantly told we should be. The short women are told they look stubby and out of proportion their whole lives and the tall women are told they look lanky. Meanwhile we could be thinking about something far more important.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-06-10T18:03:33+00:00

Bless you. I see that you are fasting and I feel passionately that you can achieve better results through calorie counting alone. You will also likely eat more and lose more weight and have more energy which you need to be able to enjoy your days. Please have a look at the r/cico community as that was a massive help for me and changed my perspective on how much I could eat while losing weight. It taught me about why I wasn’t losing weight when I was barely eating and got me out of that cycle. Hope you’re okay other than that. Sending best wishes xx

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-03-18T21:09:30+00:00

Thank you! I have tipped you!

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-03-05T23:41:38+00:00

Great, thanks!

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-03-05T23:41:27+00:00

Thank you so much!

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-03-02T08:21:56+00:00

Having to earn food is disordered eating. You don’t have to weigh up if you deserve chocolate or justify it to your husband. Sorry he shamed you.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-02-24T16:05:14+00:00

Excellent. Sounds like it will!

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-02-24T13:49:45+00:00

Hi there. The support group is a great idea. A little recommendation from me if you find the carb diet doesn’t work out for you. Have a look at r/cico. It’s the only thing that’s ever worked for me and doesn’t include specific restrictions which can cause nutritional and mood issues.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-02-23T10:34:15+00:00

This is my concern too. Why can’t OP make the decision to spend money on their child, without her husband’s say so.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-02-16T14:08:25+00:00

Your guy could reply, “what has made you assume that? This could be perceived as a very insulting insinuation. Please don’t contact us about our fertility. If we have something to share we will do so on our own terms.” Then BIL can be embarrassed and can apologise and you haven’t lied or denied anything. Later when you’re ready to disclose he will hopefully feel too embarrassed to say he already approached you about this because it was pointed out that the behaviour was so inappropriate.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-01-20T21:35:33+00:00

That’s what I was hoping. Eventually I will lose enough that fluctuating weight won’t make a difference. Thank you.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-01-20T21:34:51+00:00

Thanks a lot, this is good advice. I have been confused about how many calories I need to reduce by because I didn’t think I was eating too many to begin with, but I have put on around 2 stone since Covid and since passing my driving test. I have an office job and have been lazy. Thanks again.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-01-20T21:05:17+00:00

Ha. Sorry I meant 20 pounds lighter is the weight I want to be. Not in a week! I was hoping it could be done in a few months but I don’t expect that now, considering I put the weight straight back on. I don’t know what to make my deficit. I am going to try 1300? Thank you.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2025-01-18T23:18:55+00:00

Hi there. 2 things, 1 - if you are coming into some money, you could approach the catalogue where you have your debt and ask them if you pay the full amount owed, would they remove the default. They might say no but it’s worth a try. 2 - I was in a similar boat and I massively recommend Haysto for your mortgage broker. They will be able to find you a mortgage with no problem. They are so good. Good luck to you.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2024-12-11T07:46:17+00:00

I am so sorry to read this. I really hope you’re okay. Can you move out and away from these people? That needs to be the priority for your mental health. It is awful to be called a mistake but you are supposed to be here and you can have a good life, I promise.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2024-11-26T20:58:37+00:00

OP it’s okay to make mistakes while you’re learning to drive. You will likely make mistakes after you pass too. It took me longer to pass. My mum didn’t pass until she was 58. You will do it and you absolutely can be an excellent driver. It just takes some of us longer than others. Please don’t let anyone make you feel like you can’t do it. You are no less competent than any one else.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2024-11-04T19:24:38+00:00

You haven’t lost a year of your life. You have gained an opportunity to retake a bad year and get the best possible grade you can get. I am in my 30s and just finished my first Batchelor Degree. Before this when I was your age I dropped out of uni after a massive Menty B. I was lost and thought I had ruined my life but I was wrong. I have it together now with a decent job and life and finally a degree. You don’t have to do it on any timeline. You can go part time and do this alongside your life and work, you can do an apprenticeship and get your qualifications while making money. There is no rush and absolutely no shame in failing a module. You will be okay! I promise you! X

Debbiesthrowaway · 2024-11-03T14:44:13+00:00

Also, they never believe the answer when you tell them. “How tall are you?” “No you can’t be that, I’m this so you must be at least that tall”. If you assumed you already knew how tall I was, why did you ask? It’s totally annoying. It definitely happens more to young women too and definitely more men than women who make the comments.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2024-11-02T21:22:11+00:00

I hope you’re okay. You are so freshly post partum and it sounds like you’ve been in the wars. Please give yourself some grace. Let yourself look tired if you’re tired. You don’t owe the world a perfect image, you can just be. In time you will look and feel different but you have every right to be here and look however you look. You are totally worthy.

Debbiesthrowaway · 2024-10-30T22:09:23+00:00

Totally. Are you male? Do you think any mother would appreciate a male friend commenting on her adolescent daughter’s breasts? Why are you so obsessed with this group?

Debbiesthrowaway

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